"Ten men waiting for me at the door? Send one of them home, I'm tired. "
Mae West
"Sex at age 90 is like trying to shoot pool with a rope. "
George Burns
"Life after death is as improbable as sex after marriage."
Madeline Kahn
2007-12-11 06:58:03 · 9 answers · asked by Anonymous in Society & Culture ➔ Cultures & Groups ➔ Senior Citizens
"Virginity is a balloon in the carnival of life, that vanishes with the first prick."
"Q: Do you smoke after sex?
A: I don't know, I never looked."
"If I had known I was gonna live this long, I would have taken better care of myself" - Groucho Marx
"Q: Do you remember the worst sex you ever had?
A: Yes.
Q: How was it?
A: Fantastic."
2007-12-11 07:08:16 · answer #1 · answered by righteousjohnson 7 · 5⤊ 0⤋
Clean Funny Quotes
2016-10-05 08:14:30 · answer #2 · answered by singleterry 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You think A Sex Change Means trying The Back Seat!
You've Ever Opened a Beer While making Love!
You Hit On the Mid-wife while YOu Wife was In Labor!one more,
You practice Safe Sex,by putting on the Parking Brake!
2007-12-11 12:35:00 · answer #3 · answered by ? 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
How do you know you're really ugly?.........The dog closes his eyes while he humps your leg!
What is 6.9" ?........69 ruined by a period.
Why is a man like a hurricane? Because you never know how big they're going to get or how long they're going to last.
What's the difference between a dog & a fox? About 8 beers!
Why is Santa's sack so big? He only comes once a year!
2007-12-11 11:10:08 · answer #4 · answered by shermynewstart 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋
It's not risque, but funny ( I think):
If it wasn't for the last minute, nothing would get done.
2007-12-11 07:23:57 · answer #5 · answered by Judith H 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋
I went to see the psychiatrist i told him my life was terrible and that everybody hates me. The doctor replied "don't be silly...everyone hasn't meet you yet!"
The other day i told my wife i was seeing a psychiatrist she told me she was seeing a psychiatrist two plumbers and a the pool guy!!
2007-12-11 09:16:57 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 3⤊ 0⤋
They asked me to be a poster boy for birth control.
The other night a mugger took off his mask and made me wear it.
RD
2007-12-11 07:04:03 · answer #7 · answered by Wickwire 5 · 3⤊ 0⤋
I want a hot dog without bread you see.
'Cause I carry my bread with me.
. . .
I want it hot, I don't want it cold.
I want it so it fit my roll.
Piece from comedy act of Butterbeans and Susie - long, long time ago!
2007-12-11 07:30:11 · answer #8 · answered by sage seeker 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Squirrel took my answer!!!! I guess I will have to come up with another one. I'll edit later.
2007-12-11 08:22:27 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
If I told you that you had a beautiful body, would you hold it against me?
Is that a banana in your pocket or are you just happy to see me?
2007-12-11 07:50:30 · answer #10 · answered by Paulus 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋