This is about a guy I love. He doesn't want to be in a relationship with me but he isn't making it very clear, what his reasons are. He says he cannot handle emotions and doesn't want to take that responsibility for another's happiness. Then he says, if he does marry, it will be an arranged marriage. Well? Doesn't an arranged marriage have responsibilities and emotions in it?
I am going crazy thinking about the "why's" and debating and reasoning with myself and him. He tells me to keep an open mind for other guys. Well, is HE keeping an open mind for me? I guess not. Yet, he calls me everyday, and even flies from 1 end of the country to another end to visit with me. His actions give me false hopes. And then his answer is still "I can't". Then he confuses me further by saying, "I need 2 years and I can't ask you to wait".
Should I just stop thinking now? & just focus on the bottomline, rather than what made him reach that bottomline? Should I move on? Or give this person a chance
2007-12-11 06:32:09 · 9 answers · asked by ? 6 in Social Science ➔ Psychology
Well, the most important bottom line is wether this is working for you or not. Is this relationship helping your mind and your happiness or bringing you down?
Trying to pin the relationship down to exactly what it is may be a frustrating, endless task. It's mind games. Wether he SAYS it's a relationship or not doesn't change what it is. He's calling every day. He flys out to see you. He HAS feelings for you. Trust me. You can't spend this much time with some one of the opposite sex and NOT feel something. You and him are in a relationship.
So just ask yourself if this is something you like to have in your life or if your efforts would be better spent elsewhere. If you're having fun, stop trying to push this thing places it doesn't want to go just yet. This is time for patience and surrender. If this is more frustrating than fun then just end it and look for something better.
2007-12-11 06:49:11 · answer #1 · answered by LG 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
He is stringing you along. He is feeding you BS, and you are lapping it up. Forget him. Stop talking to him, don't accept his calls. See what happens then. Give it a month. If he tells you to keep an open mind for other guys this tells me that he is keeping an open mind for other girls. If it is this much trouble just to be with each other then it is not worth it. When someone is really into you , they will show it with actions, and there will be no confusion. You don't belong with this jerk, move on.
2007-12-11 06:41:07 · answer #2 · answered by Jen N 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
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2016-11-02 22:10:23 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think giving yourself an ultimatum like that "bottomline or the reasons for the bottomline" is kinda silly. You can be more flexible with yourself than that. But it sounds like he's playing you but I'm a guy so maybe I'm missing something.
2007-12-11 06:40:36 · answer #4 · answered by Brian Corso 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
move on. You aren't going to change him... and if you do get him into a marriage he'll probably feel duped into it and neither of you will truly be happy.
move on.. if he figures out his life... then MAYBE you'll still have a place for him in yours by then... but don't hold it open. If it's going to happen.. it will. Just MOVE ON.. because that's what's right for you.
2007-12-11 06:38:08 · answer #5 · answered by pip 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It sounds like he's very confused.. but thats not fair, because so are you. I know you probably really love him, but you have to stop and think: If he doesnt care for my emotional well being.. will he ever? When a person shows you who they really are, you have to believe them, and not hope for change.
2007-12-11 06:37:19 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Don't know how involved you are, but sounds to me like he just likes you for a booty call and knows he can have his cake and eat it too because you'll let him string you along.
You have to show him that you have limits and expect him to observe them or be out of your life.
It's hard, but you'll be happier in the long run.
2007-12-11 06:36:10 · answer #7 · answered by L.G. 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He sounds confused. I would move on. Relationships are difficult enough even when they start off perfectly with all expectations in line.
2007-12-11 06:36:32 · answer #8 · answered by astralpen 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
if you write that much about aguy who doesn't want to be in a relationship with you...... I would just move on!
2007-12-11 06:36:27 · answer #9 · answered by Mowis 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋