BOTH!
The positive is that it teaches you how you will not be treated and it makes you stronger in a relationship. You start to stand up for yourself and you start to see how you deserve to be treated.
The negative is that it leaves scars on you which unfortunately we all carry with us. The next person will pay for the mistakes the one before made. The thing is to remind yourself that this person is NOT the same and that you can not compare people ... that is one of the biggest negatives in a bad relationship. Once you move on the next person is constantly compared because he said the same thing that the other said and so on and so on.
2007-12-11 05:18:59
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answer #1
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answered by Anonymous
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It may have a negative effect. Trust will be something that will be "hard to do" , but you must realize that you Cannot take out distrustful feelings on your next relationship, unless you are proven otherwise. In other words, Try not to Carry too much neg. baggage into the New relationship, it's Unfair to the New person. Everyone has some baggage, but not everyone realized they don't have to bring it ALL in with them, they can leave the heaviest stuff "outside". Good Luck !!!
2007-12-11 05:18:40
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answer #2
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answered by casper 5
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It depends on YOU. If you choose to make yourself a victim - and decide not to trust any men - well - it's going to be negative.
If you use it as a learning experience - and think about what YOU could have done differently - if anything - it will help you - and be a positive thing.
I've found that over the years - each man gets less from me. In my first long term relationship - I was giving giving giving. The next one - not so much. The next one - even less. In my current relationship I started to give a lot again -but got resentful about it - did counseling - and have now found a happy medium.
Good luck to you.
2007-12-11 06:33:26
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answer #3
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answered by liddabet 6
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Hopefully you are wiser for your pain. Hopefully you are more aware of the truth of your relationship. Now the bad news, if you cannot get over the trust issue with the newbie, then you may drive him away by being over cautious. You must learn to have trust again and if you are burnt again, so be it.
You cannot control the other person you can only influence them by your attitude. Be loving and you should be loved, be trusting and you should be trusted. Yes it doesn't always work this way because some people are just not honest. Do not let the mistakes of others affect the people who you now meet.
Yoda out
2007-12-11 05:17:01
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answer #4
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answered by Yoda 5
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It depends on the individuals. Just because a former partner cheated doesn't mean that you should pull that baggage into another relationship and be suspicious of the new person. You must learn to give space and trust until a person shows you otherwise.
2007-12-11 05:19:40
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answer #5
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answered by JusMe 5
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3 issues i think of are significant factors there: a million) She might no longer be severe sufficient of the adult men she is vulnerable with, and basically settles for any guy who shows her interest, until she gets hollowed out because of the fact they handle her extraordinarily. 2) She probable is coping with some self-nicely worth subject concerns that keep away from her from determining how staggering of a individual she is, and this ends up in her getting used and mistreated by potential of abusive adult men finding to apply a vulnerable woman. 3) She probable does not understand a thank you to communicate happy with the alternative gender approximately her recommendations and thoughts, and whilst she isn't listened to she blames the situation on herself somewhat of recognizing how pig-headed the adult men in her existence are. i've got considered it until now, and that is complicated, fantastically whilst there's no longer plenty you're able to do different than to be a loving and supportive buddy. tell her she's particular, and don't overlook approximately her in the process the trip trips and stuff. It sounds like she has a complicated existence, and ought to probable use some help together with her little ones, in case you could ever provide her a destroy.
2016-10-11 01:44:57
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answer #6
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answered by ? 4
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I've only been married once, but I found when I was dating that after a relationship ended I always knew more about what I really wanted. My H.S. boyfriend was a hippy, so in college I found a guy that was a good dresser, wore his hair short, and wasn't always blaming authority. Unfortunately he wasn't that bright and he cheated on me. After that I dated the nerdy grad assistant (at least I knew he wasn't stupid or going to cheat) However he was disrespectful, and self centered. Shortly after breaking up with him I found my husband. He is smart, funny, loving, hard-working, good looking, and interesting. I jumped at the opportunity and married him!
p.s. James - neither I nor my husband were virgins when we met and we are both GLAD! We both feel satisfied that we have what we want in the bedroom (because we know what else is out there), and neither of us are so insecure that we can't stand that the other had a life before we came along.
2007-12-11 05:30:15
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answer #7
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answered by Anonymous
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I think it has a negative effect because the person who experienced that kind of hurt usually stays very guarded for a very long time, attempting not to be hurt again.
2007-12-11 05:13:18
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answer #8
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answered by mrskerlin 4
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I think for me it has been negative. I tend to think that all men will cheat now,I find myself accepting that behavior when I don't really want to (just because I think they will all do it.) I am extremely jealous. I hate those qualities in myself, I even tried counseling for a little while. I think it is just baggage that I will carry around for awhile, possibly forever. because I can't change what has already happened.
2007-12-11 14:58:16
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answer #9
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answered by replexgirl 6
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U try to be positive but still can't think of anything but the negative. Ur to afraid of getting hurt again!
2007-12-11 05:17:18
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answer #10
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answered by ♥Pure Evil♥ 6
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