I found out that my friend's dad died, either today or yesterday - he had cancer. she'd told me about his cancer, and about all the treatment etc. it wasn't going well, but i didn't expect him to die so soon. me, along with loads of other people, are really upset - loads of people were crying at school today. i don't think my friend was in school, i'm not sure when she'll be coming back, but when she does i don't know what to say to her. i'll probably end up crying, which will probably make her feel worse. i can't imagine what hell she must be going through. what do i say? it's such an awful thing to happen, especially now.
:'(
2007-12-11 03:26:57 · 10 answers · asked by pullthetrigger 6 in Family & Relationships ➔ Friends
Just let them know that you are there for them so that they will have that comfort and assurance that you care. My mom died a few years back and all I wanted was someone there with me to let me know that I am not truly alone. Dont sympathize for her, emphatize-you cant change how she is feeling in her head-you can only try to ease it by conversating with her about ANYTHING. If you try to talk to her about her dad she will realize that her dad is truly gone. Let her talk about her dad FIRST!
GOD BLESS,
Mieko M
2007-12-11 03:34:14 · answer #1 · answered by Mieko M 2 · 3⤊ 0⤋
Well my dad died in 7th grade i'm in 12th now. its a really hard thing to go through and she's going to feel like her world has turned upset down. she'll be confused and uncertain of everything, so the one thing that needs to stay certain is that she has friends that are there for her. when she eventually does come in she may not want to speak about it so don't say stuff like 'I' miss your dad or say how upset 'YOU' are because its not about you, this was her father. However at times she may feel like it's just 'TOO' much and flip out or just be moody. i was a real 'Bi*tch when i found out my dad died but it was because i was hurting real bad inside. She may need space and allow her to have that. But most of all be understanding, i don't know if anybody you were very close to has died but if not imagine how you would feel, put yourself in her shoesand be there for her. It will probably also be very surreal for her because when my dad died it was like the weirdest thing to think this person that you knew and that was here yesterday or whenever is gone and i may never see him again., and my mom and dad split when i was a kid so its not like i saw him everyday. She'll become very strong after this and i admire what a good friend your being. Lookafter her.
2007-12-11 11:59:58 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
If she's your friend, you can write her a note saying you're thinking of her at this sad time, and that you would like her to know this. Say also that you would like to talk to her but you realise that now might not be the best time, and ask her to call you when she feels like it. Say too that there's a hug included in the note ....
When you meet her, you don't need to say anything other than 'how are you doing?' and give her a big hug. This will be appreciated a lot. When she's ready to talk about how she feels, she'll do it. All you'll need to do then is listen.
2007-12-11 12:37:01 · answer #3 · answered by Orla C 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋
No one really knows what to say in these situations. Nothing you say will bring her father back so the only thing you can do is be there for her. When my daughter died, it helped to just be with my friends and family. I didn't want to be alone. I wanted to feel comfortable with crying in front of them. Tell her it's ok to cry, cry as much as she wants, and it's ok for you to cry too. I'm really sorry to hear about that.
2007-12-11 11:36:25 · answer #4 · answered by Leigh 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
all you can be is a good friend, be there when she need you and always have a shoulder for her to cry on. i kinda know what she's going through i lost my mom to cancer 6 years ago and thats all i really wanted to help me get through, just be the best friend you can be, it'll all work out
2007-12-11 11:34:49 · answer #5 · answered by rowdyredneckcowgirl 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
act normal as if it was a normal day but be surportive. the last thing she needs is everyone acting strange around her as she might have enough of that at home. good luck hope everything goes ok.
2007-12-11 11:35:35 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
dont be to up in her face just ask her if she need any help with anything and tell her how sorry you are for her loss. try not to be to helpful. just have a quiet chat with her and do something to try to take her mind of it .
2007-12-11 14:20:57 · answer #7 · answered by lil lucy.....x 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Say to her im sorryis thare anything at all i can do 4 u
2007-12-11 11:31:12 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
dont say anything, just be there for her in her time of need.
2007-12-11 11:30:41 · answer #9 · answered by SAL 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
cry with her she will not think of you any less if not more
2007-12-11 11:42:04 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋