help please what do you think,my husband makes me look stupid?

Question

my husband works very hard all day and comes back home complain that he is tired,all l want is for him to rest after a hard days job,so l do every other work in the house,including taking care of our 8 MONTHS OLD BABY,instead of him to rest he will take his dog out to urinate,he is never tired to please his animals,he has a dog and a cat living with us,l dont like living with animals,is annoying,but l have to accept them cos my husband love them,so l told my hubby that people who keep animals most of them dont work,why keep them when you dont even have time for yourelf ,cos l am tired,instead of taking the dog out everyday after work ,why not use the time to help me out with one or two things,l dont sleep at night cos baby eats every 4 HOURS and l dont rest during the day cos l dont have the time and baby dont sleep alot,l am busy doing all the house work,he makes me feel stupid,so l asked him to take out the animals,cos l am tired of working like a slave in my house,

Answer 1

YOu have a problem. If he is not willing to compromise you will be a slave to your house, child and husband forever. You have to think this one over, he has to be willing to change.

Answer 2

I don't think that your husband makes you look "stupid" that's NOT really relevant to the question... I think that your husband loves his animals and does NOT want to part with them even though the two of you have a baby. While I will agree that pets are NOT children and should NOT be treated like children on the other hand to simply get rid of them because "you don't like living with animals" is not acceptable if he had the animals BEFORE you and you still married him than they are part of the package. It's your husband's choice on spending the free time taking care of the pets.

As for people that don't work keeping pets- well, that's not an accurate statement... I have 2 children that I care for during the day a 5 yr. old Rottweiler AND I work at night... While I'm working my husband cares for the children and the dog.. We seem to do just fine... So, maybe it's time to stop whining about all the work that goes into having a family/children/pets and just get on with it already..... Let him care for the animals and you take care of the baby... Maybe meet somewhere down the middle and share some responsibilities..

Good luck

Answer 3

Yes, you both have full time jobs and being a parent means you are on call 24 hours a day.

Get some rest the best you can. This too shall pass.

As for the argument, I'd fore go the bickering. Some men just don't get it. If you can't live with it leave, but try to accept the situation, the resulting resentments just aren't worth the headache.

Been there, done that. I left, but more because of the physical violence than him not doing his fair share of parenting duties. I also held a part-time job outside of the home along with raising 2 infants and a pre-school-er.

"Acceptance is the answer to all my problems today. When I am disturbed it is because I find some person, place or thing, some fact of my life unacceptable to me. I can have no serenity until I accept that person, place or thing as being exactly the way it is supposed to be at this moment. Nothing, absolutely nothing, happens in "Gods" world by mistake. Unless I accept life completely on life's terms I cannot be happy. I need to concentrate not so much as what needs to be changed in the world as what needs to be changed in ME and MY attitudes."

This is not to say you CAN'T change situations, this is to say accept it or move on.

I wish you the best, I truly do.

Good luck.

Peace.

Answer 4

You don't have to have the entire house cleaned everyday.
Just pick a room or two a day that need to be cleaned. Do a load of laundry daily.
Let the dog outside once every couple of hours.
Buy those Clorox bathroom wipes to wipe down the sink and toilet. Takes less than 5 minutes.

The most time consuming chore you probably have is the floors. Get them out of the way first. Those Swiffer floor wipes do a great job.....they sweep and clean the floor at the same time. Only vacuum the rooms that get the most foot traffic.

Answer 5

it sounds that your not an animal lover and he is. this could be a problem. Relax, if things dont get done right away so what. Realize the most important thing is your family. Start doing things together at night when he comes home. If your husband walks the dog put your baby in a stroller and go together. You are spending quality time together and the baby gets fresh air. You will se without asking he will be more willing to help when need be. Believe it or not it works

Answer 6

Okay, I assume this is just venting here.
I raised four kids....for ten years on my own. I worked in a very demanding physical job (baker), maintained a house, the yard, ran errands and had one dog/two cats.....it can be done.

Be thankfull he works hard for you and the child you have...be thankfull he walks the dog and doesn't push that off on you.

And from a mother with many years of experience....why isn't your eight month old sleeping thru the night? Why is he/she eating every four hours??????? A baby that age should be getting three squares a day, with a light snack....and not be eating/drinking milk after he/she goes down at night. A baby that age is capable of self entertainment for short periods of timein a safe playpen and needs at least one short nap during the day.....what is going on during the day that leaves you so exhausted during the night? Get baby on a proper schedual if the frequent meals are not medically needed, stop the night feedings as baby is far too old....it sounds like you've caused your own situation, m'dear....a litle self-help is required....baby doesn't need your slavish devotion 24-7...baby will never learn to be an independent person if you continue to keep him/her glued to the hip. And get yourself on a household schedual as well...helter -skelter doesn't run a home either...I know...schedual your time as well.

Answer 7

Not all men are good with babies. Did he want to be a father right now? Sometimes they are not sure what to do or just get better when the kids get older and they can do something with them.

This time period will pass with the baby. If he wants the animals let him take care of them. As the baby gets older, you will have more time.

Focus on you and the baby. Let everything else wait until you are ready and when you are ready. If he doesnt like the house work isnt being kept up tell him to do the housework himself then or shut up.

No more discussions on baby, animals - men dont like to talk so actions speak louder than words. Just do.

Answer 8

Hon, I know life is hard for you at the moment because you are so tired. A new baby is always a draw on the mother's time and health.

But you must realize that working in public is no picnic either. Your sweet husband is not out there having fun. He has to put up with a lot of things that you never hear about.

Remember.....the house and children are the woman's work; and bringing home money for food, clothing, rent is the man's work.

The only alternative is divorce. Do you really want a divorce? You will then be expected to work AND raise the baby on your own.

Answer 9

ok first of all are you a house wife? This does not make you look stupid. it makes you a house wife trying your best to make your husband happy, and I am not sure where you got your info about working people not having pets. It is my opinion that you are whining about things. do not get me wrong taking care of the baby is not easy, but neither is working full time either. I also noticed that he spends his time sleeping instead of watching tv, playing video games and just totaly ignoring you when he is home. Grow up a little.

Ps, if you are so tired from taking care of the kid all day and the child demands so much from you why are you on the pc asking yahoo questions?

Answer 10

well your husband looks like an animal freak and he has to understand what is your problem as he is your hubby. But you must be a good wife too. You know what can women do when a man tries not to listen to them just ... Dont sleep together with him somedays and askhim to sleep with his animals instead ... Hope he might understand ur value.... If he doesnt understand even that way seduce him first then use the above method ..... Be more good to your husband and love him if he doesnt listen do it .. dont sleep with him sleep in the same room but somewhere else.

Answer 11

Get rid of the animal's or at least put them out side were they belong,, I hate walking in someones house and smelling cat urine or dog sh*t how gross!! animal's belong out side it's not healthy for the baby's smelling that either and the baby can get ring worm from the cat.. Your hubby needs to grow the F*** up. I feel sorry for you good luck...