Teased as a kid?

Question

I was an awkward looking kid growing up ..I got teased by boys for the way I look. Then during puberty - I got much prettier...

The problem is I still feel ugly & insecure in front of boys inside and maybe they sense it ....

Although I don't have any problems attracting men ...something always goes wrong.

I can't get rid of the negative " I'm ugly" recording inside my head. I should get rid of it because it effects EVERYTHING I do.

How do I get rid of obscene past ?

Answer 1

You cannot simply get rid of the past or you'd be repressing your memories and that is a defense mechanism that can come back to haunt you.

You are giving your memories a lot of power over your self esteem. You need to rationalize it a little bit more, and your self talk needs to become more positive. You see, if you talk negatively to yourself, even though no one else can hear you they may see it displayed in other ways.

In relationships something might "always go wrong" because no one can completey love you until you love yourself. Start using positive self-affirmations today, and believe yourself when you say them. Just go to the website below.

Answer 2

.... There is something you're not telling us.... or maybe not even getting yourself.

Most people get teased at some point as children. A large many get teased constantly and consistantly for quite some while. It isn't uncommon.

What is really perplexing is how this is still causing you problems. I was teased from the point I first went to school all the way through until the day I left (at age 18) .... and over time I just gradually got over it. You stopped being teased at puberty apparently.... and you're the one currently displaying self-image issues.....

I think it is less to do with the teasing that used to occur and more to do with metamorphosis and trust issues. In some respects you changed.... but the very notion of identity within yourself most likely didn't. Others around you seemed to notice a change that you didn't.... and part of you likely feels they are being insincere.

Perhaps in all your internalisation of the issues at hand you haven't taken into account that most people are shallow and will judge you at face value.... and that face value by which you are judged HAS changed, even if your core identity has not.
Maybe you feel awkward because.... unlike me.... you stopped getting the negative attention that at some subconscious level you had got used to and felt you deserved.


Strange as it might seem.... you might get much out of taking out this negativity on other people rather than yourself. See for a while how it feels to treat others the way you see yourself.... and you might get some strange and perhaps familiar responses that could fix you up.

Answer 3

Its very difficult, I know. Life has a strange way of bringing up the past when you really don't need it. If you are pretty and you have no problem with getting guys then forget about your problems in the past (I know easier said than done). I have been the same as you since I hit puberty I went through high school with terrible acne it ruined my life completely, I used to look through the acne and I could see my face and i always thought, "I would be so good looking if I didn't have this", then when it went I didn't feel as happy as I should have been I am often told by my girlfriends that i am handsome but for somereason I just can't believe them, one day I will just realise that it doesn't matter when i find that special someone my looks will gradually disappear and I'll be older and probably put on a few pounds and i won't give a flying monkeys. I think we are stuck being what we are until something comes and changes us. I guess we will have to deal with it.

Answer 4

You can't. Past events can't be changed. This is what leads to regret. (however, not in your case, it's more or less "moving on") No one has all the answers. All we can do is take the information given to us from past events and use it to help with similar events in the future. Best advice I can offer is, personal insecurities are the hardest things to get over. Maybe you could set up an account on ""www.hotornot.com"" see what you get for a rating. Or try to imagine everyone you see 75 pounds fatter with warts all over their body and missing 2 teeth. If everyone else looks hideous how can you help but feel beautiful?

Answer 5

I was the same way. After "reinventing" my image several times I just finally realized I was an alright looking guy no matter what I thought... and it just kind of stuck that time.

I guess what I'm saying is that with age, maturity and experience you'll find your security.

Answer 6

look at a photograph from long ago, and compare it in the mirror to what you look like now. tell yourself olny the good things from changing, and then list ONE negative thing. the insecurity will never completely go away, but you can reduce it as much as possible to make yourself happier and more confident. but remember looks aren't everything.