When I first met my boyfriend I knew he was separated and six months later he told me his divorce was finalized. Once this occured our relationship progressed however I found out yesterday that he is still legally married... He told me that he couldn't tell me the truth because he didn't want to lose me and that he had been working on the divorce throughout the duration of our relationship. I feel as though it's time to move on and he should have been honest with me from the begining. Any input is appreciated.
2007-12-11 02:28:25 · 28 answers · asked by Brwneydgrl 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Also we have been together for 3 years since the "so-called" divorce and we were planning to get married early next year but as you can see his divorce is not even finalized.
2007-12-11 02:54:17 · update #1
You already know what to do-go with your own intuition. No matter what excuses someone comes up with for lying to you-they still used deceit as a tool to control the relationship-and did not allow you to make up your own mind regarding the relationship. He didn't trust you enough to tell you the truth. He said it outright-but made it sound like he feared "losing you" which supposedly is because he 'loves' you, and it is what you are supposed to believe, too, to carry out the deciet and make it reasonable. But, in fact, if he trusted you completely, he would tell you the truth about the situation, and rely on the fact that you love him enough to deal with it.
Leave. Deceit, lying, cover ups, those things only come from one place, and it is not ever positive-even when someone tries to make it look like it is. He COULD have told you the truth, he chose not to-he decided not to. And that left you in the position of not being able to make a decision for yourself about your life. A man that loves you will respect you enough, and will trust you enough, to make your own decisions, without lying to influence your choices.
2007-12-11 02:39:28 · answer #1 · answered by Daisy 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
I agree with you if he's lying to you about something like that now what else is he going to be lying to you about
You need to move on girl You are absouletly right he should have been honest with you from the very beginning.
I'll tell you this No Healthy Relationship Starts or Grows On A Lie
2007-12-11 02:42:15 · answer #2 · answered by rebel_angel031 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
If he'd lie about that, what else has he lied about?
It typically doesn't take long for a divorce to occur, and if he'd been separated and 6 months later he still wasn't divorced, then I'd have to wonder if he's really pursuing it. Doesn't sound like it.
Move on...
2007-12-11 02:35:33 · answer #3 · answered by . 7 · 2⤊ 1⤋
You should move on. It has been 6 months and that is a long time to keep up a lie. If he can't be honest about his divorce than he can't be trusted to tell the truth about anything.
2007-12-11 02:32:23 · answer #4 · answered by ameri0903 3 · 4⤊ 1⤋
Yes. I relationship based solely on dishonestly from the get-go will go nowhere! How many more lies do you want to hear so that you will be comfortable with the situation? If he could not trust that you would handle things so he lied to you..he will do that every time, and it just shows that he doesn't see the strong person you are.
2007-12-11 02:34:10 · answer #5 · answered by Jengi 3 · 2⤊ 1⤋
you are correct, move on... good luck... he lies now, he will lie later, this is why his wife is divorcing him, because he's a liar!
go get a real man, this one is a fake... good luck! =)
was with a guy who said he was divorced then later on he said he was only going through a divorce, and when I told him I was pregnant he split... I now have a child by him that he has nothing to do with... and he's back w/ his wife... fine by me...! she can have him, lol! pfffttt... he pays child support, though, he has to, lol! =)
my guess is my daughter's sperm donor was never really separated, and your man may still be w/ this woman at times as well... dump him fast! =)
2007-12-11 02:32:44 · answer #6 · answered by elvlayarvvi fEisty wife and mom 6 · 2⤊ 1⤋
Run as fast as you can. The same thing happened to me. We dated over a year before I found out he was married. He never told me the truth. I found out because he lived down the street from my sister & his kids played with hers. My nephew told me he had gone to thier wedding! Kicked him to the curb. You need to do the same. How can you trust him if he would lie to you about that?
2007-12-11 02:36:37 · answer #7 · answered by Michelle D 2 · 1⤊ 1⤋
I am with you. He had no reason to lie to you. He probably is not really getting divorced. The whole thing was most likely a lie.
Move on and let him go back to his unhappy marriage.
Take care,
Troy
2007-12-11 02:51:39 · answer #8 · answered by tiuliucci 6 · 0⤊ 1⤋
I agree with you. He lied, that makes it time to move on. He was afraid to lose you is a lame excuse, the only way to be sure he'd lose you is lie to you! And it makes you wonder if you were married to him what else he might lie about in order to keep you?
2007-12-11 02:35:46 · answer #9 · answered by Jen70 3 · 1⤊ 1⤋
He should have been honest with you of course. I would move on mostly because if he can lie to you about something like that, something you probably would have stood by him through, what else will he lie about in the future?
2007-12-11 02:45:29 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋