Ok, a family member of mine who believes they are royalty made a careless mistake, (which I won't mention). Though it was a mistake, it wasn't the first time and it was something that was really hurtful. They have been told, not asked, not to do this again, and though this time it really was a mistake I yelled because I was fed up! Instead of them apologizing and fixing it so that it never happened again, they begin yelling that the fact that I'm so upset isn't going to change what just happened...but my thing is, I am so fed up, and maybe finally yelling will get the point across to them that this should NEVER happen again! I'm so angry because there is no talking to this person. They have a really bad reputation for making nasty, snide remarks whenever you try to reason with them! Now they have left and I'm here trying to clean up their mess and I am really STEAMING!
2007-12-11 02:14:12 · 15 answers · asked by rain4him *Stranger In Most Towns 4 in Entertainment & Music ➔ Polls & Surveys
The thing to do right now is remember that when you yell or get angry, that person has someone to point their finger at. That person can tell you (or anyone else) that you are the crazy/unreasonable one. If you want to "talk" to someone, then yelling is not going to work. So, deep breath here....and a reality check that anger and yelling is not going to make you feel better or give you any credibility in what it is you are fighting for.
I also have a person like this in my family. What I do first of all is remember that I do not have to BE this person. I am extremely grateful that I am not the person who carelessly hurts others and doesn't realize my own actions. So, if you can reflect on how you are a more considerate person, it might help you be grateful that you are not that other person in your family.
Finally, who is it that this person is hurting? Is it you? Sometimes it is more bothersome to see a person in the family like this hurt SOMEONE ELSE. However, what I do in that situation is remember that the other person (that is being hurt) is a grown up. They have the ability to speak up for themselves; to fend for themselves, as do I. If the person in my family hurts me, I tell them - in a CALM VOICE - that they have hurt me because they did XYZ. That way, that person cannot say, "you're crazy" or tell me (or you) that I am unreasonable.
That person is going to live with the reputation of being nasty and snide, and you don't have to. My advice is, if it is a sibling, move far, far away when you get older. My sibling and I now live on opposite sides of the country. Now when she is rude and hurts others, it is far, far away from me. I don't have to witness it, and so I don't have to get involved. I hope this helps. It doesn't change the situation, but it may help to alter your point of view. Good luck!
2007-12-11 02:25:10 · answer #1 · answered by baklavakay 4 · 3⤊ 0⤋
Well, it's really hard to give a really good answer with such vague info. But I would think if this has happened before with this same person, hard to believe it truly is a mistake. This person seems to take advantage of you and only you can put a stop to it. I would say for the moment, walk away. Go somewhere out of the area like outside or take a walk or something to blow off some of that steam. I don't know if by "cleaning up" you literally mean you're cleaning something up, but either way just walk away and clear your head. Then come back on YA and read all the silly Q/A!!
2007-12-11 02:30:52 · answer #2 · answered by texicangirl 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋
What I would do is just deal with it this time, clean up what ever they have done. And if this has happened in your home it is your choice to have them back or not. Just because they are family does not mean that you have to put up with their crap. But I would not waste my time or breath talking to them or arguing with them because it sounds like a lost cause. Write or email them and tell them how you feel, what you would like to happen and then if they can not deal with it. Don't spend time with them. Keep your self out of the situation. Let things cool down, then maybe after a period of time you and this family member can sit down and talk about this like adults. Good luck dealing with family is never easy.
2007-12-11 02:20:15 · answer #3 · answered by iceprincess 5 · 3⤊ 0⤋
I really know how you feel. In my humble opinion...it's time for you and this person to go separate ways! Enough is enough. You shouldn't have to beg someone NOT to keep doing the wrong thing! And you said they think they are royalty? By this do you mean they think they are above all others? Then they really have to go. tell them to pack up their purple robe, put on their crown and take their royal a** to sit on someone elses throne! Now breathe...
2007-12-11 02:45:37 · answer #4 · answered by Stranger In My Heart 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋
I listen to Smack My B Up By The Prodigy http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HDghne375FE&feature=related ANd scream out the words as I imagine my rage at the person in question and let it out. I know exactly what you are going through and there isn't a whole lot else you can do other than pray for change.
2007-12-11 02:24:31 · answer #5 · answered by ? 7 · 3⤊ 0⤋
They keep doing this "mistake" over and over...which means they really don't care how you feel about it...and they don't care that you are mad at them, either...so I'd just go on with my life, and leave them out of it...apologies are not accepted. Sometimes, even when family is involved, you have to separate from people who are just so selfish, that they can't stop hurting you.
2007-12-11 02:18:59 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 3⤊ 0⤋
One thing I always tell myself when faced with things like this, is that God didn't put me on this earth to be anyone's doormat. I do not have to endure abuse and if my family member keeps dishing it out, I have a right to distance myself from that family member.
Don't waste your emotional energy on hate. It will hurt you and have no effect on the one hated. Just remove yourself from the possibility of having pain inflicted. If you can't forgive the person, ask whatever Deity you follow to do it for you, smile and go on with your life.
2007-12-11 02:34:15 · answer #7 · answered by Hetep 2 · 3⤊ 0⤋
OK deep cleansing breaths.....
I know how you feel. Similar situation for me at work. What has worked for me is to just not talk to her unless absolutely necessary. I'm trying to stay away form her.
I talk long deep breaths. Once I've calmed down then I will approach her.
Try not to let it get to you. Just back off until you calm down. Some people are not worth the trouble.
2007-12-11 02:21:17 · answer #8 · answered by angel of senn 3 · 3⤊ 0⤋
Just because they're a family member, doesn't mean you have to spend time with them. Stay away from people you hate, if at all possible.
2007-12-11 02:17:58 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 4⤊ 0⤋
I have been in the same situation a few times and you either have to put up with it or just severe your ties with them. Just cause you are related to them does not mean you have to be miserable because of them.
2007-12-11 02:20:59 · answer #10 · answered by shadey208 1 · 4⤊ 0⤋