ok, this is the scenario: i regularly complain of being fat - even though i am within a healthy weight range and am of average weight. i know i am not fat, but i wouldn't mind losing a little weight... its not hugely a big deal, as i work out most nights and eat very healthy foods. people say there is nothing wrong with my body and that i am not fat.
my flatmate is naturally stick thin and is a head shorter than me, she is tiny. she also says i am not fat, but that i am of a healthy weight.
one night, we were really drunk, and i asked her if i was fat - and she said yes.
around 7 months later, she was describing to me a girl from her work and described her as being, "a bit fatter than you". she then quickly corrected herself and said, "um a lot fatter than you...". and she kind of trailed off and tried to act as though nothing had happened. i did not mention anything to her - but i do believe she had made a Freudian slip, which occurs when a person says what they really mean before
2007-12-11 02:09:01 · 10 answers · asked by Anonymous in Social Science ➔ Psychology
the brain has time to register.
do people agree with me? how would other people react? thanks.
2007-12-11 02:09:29 · update #1
You're fatter than a stick-insect..... and thinner than a hippo.
In fact.... that describes most people.
Honestly... there is no fixed point at which a person starts or stops being "fat".... It is just a subjective analysis. Of course someone who looks like a humanoid stick-insect is going to think of you as fat.... because they're comparing you to themselves. That said... someone who is built like a humanoid hippo and waddles rather than walks is going to think of you as thin....
It is entirely subjective.
As such... you're best not thinking about it.
And certainly do NOT start measuring your own self-worth against public opinion of you.... or you're going to doom your entire life from the start.
YOU decide what you are worth; not other people.
2007-12-11 02:55:40 · answer #1 · answered by Lucid Interrogator 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
This woman definitely sounds like she has issues. Did she know your husband before you? Maybe that is were some of her issues are coming from, just a thought. If I am wrong about that, lets move to the next. You need to be honest. You sound like a sensitive person. Did your boyfriend suggest this idea? I don't know why you would have to hide your happiness , especially for somebody who has emotional problems. Just always be honest and be careful how you tell her, but do not hide it. That's the worst. You could possibly set a good example of how the whole family thing is supposed to start.
2016-04-08 08:14:21 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You know you're not fat, even if she may think you are, which I don't think she does. I agree with the user above that she might just be calling you what you call yourself. Unfortunately, others do not like it when you try to get sympathy by asking "Am I fat?" If you know that you are not fat, you would not have to ask anyone that question in the first place.
She may just want you to stop asking, by telling you you're fat even if you're not.
As long as you are healthy there is no need to worry about this issue. She might even think that the comment she made 7 months later was a compliment becasue she was referring to someone else as fat.
2007-12-11 02:29:11 · answer #3 · answered by livelaughlovehappy:) 2 · 2⤊ 1⤋
If you are happy with yourself don't worry about it. If you aren't happy with yourself, do something to change it. Work out a little more and eat a little healthier. If you work out on a regular basis and eat healthy, I'm sure you're not "fat". Maybe you're built like me, unlike girls you see in magazines, you have CURVES. There is a difference between having curves and being FAT. No matter what I do I can never get SKINNY, some women just can't. But to tell you the honest truth, I don't want to be skinny. I would rather have shape than have nothing at all. Sounds like your friend is just jealous...well let me rephrase that, your rommate is jealous, not your friend...friends don't say those kinds of things. If she is "stick" thin like you said, I seriously think she is just jealous. It's easy for us girls that have some to get to the weight we want, but girls like her are just screwed, they can't have boobs and a butt like us ;) lol don't let her get to you, seriously, just stay healthy, PLEASE, don't let her get to you and send you on the wrong track. Just take care of yourself and don't worry about what other people think.
2007-12-11 02:23:07 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
Well, I am thinking that since you refer to yourself as fat constantly, the people in your realm begin to see you as what you say you are. By no fault of her own, she refers to you as you see yourself. Plus, since she is skinny - stick thin as you put it - maybe anyone not her size is bigger, or fatter to than her, so she refers to them as fat.
For you to be this obsessed with it, remember how long ago she told you you were fat, you have the problem. Hopefully, you don't let everyone know your Achilles's heel....they will only use this to hurt you!
2007-12-11 02:18:01 · answer #5 · answered by forestbythesea 6 · 0⤊ 1⤋
First of all, if you don't think of yourself as fat then no one else will. And as for your flatmate, she is only reflecting what you think of yourself back at you. And she is only doing it to hurt you. You should not care what your flatmate or anyone else thinks of your body. If you don't like it no one will. You have to love yourself as you are right now, and if you don't like how you look change it, not because your flatmate says so, because you want to. She's just being that way because you let her. Stop opening yourself up to what she thinks and says, and consentrate on how you feel about yourself.
2007-12-11 02:52:38 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋
My honest opinion? You are WAY too obsessed with your weight if you are trying to analyze if that was a Freudian slip or not. Let it go and stop worrying so much.
2007-12-11 02:14:24 · answer #7 · answered by pip 7 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Let me start off by saying how annoying it is to hear someone who isn't fat, complain about being fat all the time. If you don't want to be called fat, than don't call yourself fat! it's really that simple. And if you do not truly believe you are fat but you continue to say it, and got offended when someone called you fat, than it shows you are only looking for compliments, which is equally annoying.
I once read and article that talked about this issue and girls calling themselves fat to their boyfriends. Do you want them to call you fat or notice all the "fat" on your body that you're referring to or do you want them to continue being attracted to you for whatever reason they are? If you want your boyfriend to notice your thunder thighs, keep on talking about them! This applies to your situation with your friend too. Bottom line, it's annoying when someone is constantly calling themselves fat, eventually someone will agree!
2007-12-11 02:25:41 · answer #8 · answered by Rosie25 4 · 2⤊ 1⤋
i think from you story, you should be fat but fatness have classes . if you are in one class of fatness and you are comfortable with that keep to that class if you don't want to get to the other.
2007-12-11 02:24:11 · answer #9 · answered by Lt. 3 · 0⤊ 2⤋
Karma will have it's way with her!
Don't let her get you down!
2007-12-11 02:19:39 · answer #10 · answered by Karebear 6 · 1⤊ 2⤋