how do you react?

Question

ok last night my husband was talking in his sleep and called out one of his ex's names. he was having a sexual dream. also said ya baby thats so good. this isn't the first time this has happened and i've tried not to let it get to me but i just had a baby three weeks ago and am very emotional am i over reacting being upset with him. i asked him about it this morning and hes like everyone dreams like that but not once have i dreamed about one of my ex's like that at least that i remember. when he has them he tells them to me in full detail and doesn't think it should upset me, but in a way it feels like he is almost cheating.like i said i don't know how i am not supposed to be upset i don't want to overreact but it is very very hurtful that he dreams of sex with his ex and is vocal about it when we have sex he hardly makes a sound!so i'd love some insight or to hear if it happens to anyone else please if you can't say something helpful don't say anything i'm having a hard enough time

i understand you can't control your dreams but when it happens over and over again it starts to get old and kimball go screw yourself! thank you sanders you at least understand

thank all of you except kimball your helping me alot:)

Answer 1

I rarely remember my dreams, but for him to yell out her name then give you the dirty details.......he has absolutely no concern for your feelings.

He may just be pretending that he's asleep and doing this on purpose just to piss you off.
Did he dream of the ex before you got pregnant, or did all of this start during the pregnancy?

Next time this happens, I'd "accidentally" kick him in his nuts and tell him you were dreaming of being a soccer superstar.

Answer 2

I think that for you to recognize the hormonal upeaval that you're experiencing with the birth of your child is a step in the right direction, as far as your reaction to hearing your husband call out an ex's name in his sleep ( I cried but also laughed at the slightest thing right after I had each of my 3 children!).
BUT...he should NOT be telling you all about it! If he really doesn't have a clue about what women go through after childbirth (body image problems, motherhood insecurities, etc.,), then you - or even his mother or yours - should sit him down and tell him the facts. And then refuse to listen to "all the details" the next time he tries to tell you about them. And try to understand that for awhile yet, your reactions will be different from the norm. Good luck and congrats on the new baby!

Answer 3

I wouldn't let it bother you too much. Some people do dream about sex and their past loved ones, and many do not even know it.
I have had them, but I guess I just don't speak in my sleep, cause the wife has never said anything to me.
They are just dreams and nothing more.
Your emotions are running high right now due to the birth of your baby, so it is going to seem like every little thing that happens will bring you concern.
Cheer up, it will go away after a while.

Answer 4

Well everyone dreams.And unfortunately we cant help what we dream.Do you ask him for details?if not then he is being insensitive to you.
Maybe there are things that these other girls did for him that you wont or havent yet.Sexual that is.i dont know.It is a hard one to answer.
Does he show any signs of cheating.Maybe when you are up to it.If there is anything he has expressed that he likes that you wont do.Try it.That could be what it is.
If there is not.Then I wouldnt beat yourself up over it.You or him cannot control what he dreams.You can however tell him you dont want to hear it.He should know that already.
Hope it helps.Good luck

Answer 5

i don t really know what to say about the dreams since he can't control that, but for him to ask you to fill in the details is just SICK and hurtful!!!!

i do not dream about sex w/ an ex. i find it odd that he's had these dream more than once. my sex dreams usually include hot famous people or my boyfriend, not my ex. i dont know, but maybe he still has some sexual feelings toward this ex.

i would DEF. tell him to stop asking for more details and if i were you, i would keep my eyes open for any infeldity you might witness. dont be blind because you dont want to see.

good luck

Answer 6

First refuse to hear the details of the dream next time. He shouldn't need to share that with you. Do you think he would ever actually cheat on you? Dreams not acted apon are just that - dreams. Guys are different from girls in that they will dream about that kind of stuff. Give him a break since you just had a baby recently.
If he is a good daddy and hubby, just ignore it, but tell him you don't want to hear about the details.

Answer 7

He can't stop his dreams, he can however stop telling you about them. I had a dream recently about a girl I haven't seen or talked to in about 20 years. We used to work together. It was very odd, but it was in my dream and I did not dream it on purpose. This is where so many people get into this false honesty about telling their spouse everything. Somethings do not need to be discussed, and with you just having had a baby, he should really know better then to share sexy dreams with you that do not involve you.

Answer 8

Of course it's going to hurt you and he needs to respect you. Yes, people do have dreams like that sometimes... but if he loved you he wouldn't want to tell you about them, especially not in detail.
For instance, I once had a dream about my ex and I chose him over my fiance in the dream. We ended up making love on a boat in my dream. I didn't tell my fiance about it because it's nothing he needs to worry about. I love him and not my ex and it's funny because the ex that it was I wasn't even with for very long and was not essential to my life. I wokeup feeling guilty but then I realized that it was just a dream and.. dreams are dreams. But, if your husband respected you he would keep the details to his self and realize that it's going to hurt you if he tells you... it's going to feel like he is cheating.

Answer 9

We can't control our dreams and that's for sure! Once I called a name while dreaming and my hubby told me so in the other morning. Believe it or not, I don't know anyone with that name and I don't even remember dreaming of someone with this name. You can't held someone accountable for his dreams and blame him. Those are only dreams so leave it.

Answer 10

I'm sorry..but what an ****** for telling you the details. Yea..like you need to know them! Secondly, you can't control your dreams. Maybe ask him if he's been thinking about her or have seen her recently. Who knows...but it needs to stop.