I'm 35 weeks pregnant and having major problems with my fiance, he's nigerian, 28 I'm british, 36. He's never shown any interest in my pregnancy, even though 've been in and out of hospital with high blood pressure, I'm being induced in 3 weeks. He refuses to tell his family about me as he says they would disown him and he risks his mum stopping paying his study fees. He goes out with his mates and never takes me. He expects me to do all housework and moans if house is not clean. He told me he would only move in house if I moved to bigger place, i did he moved in great at first and then he starts just going out all time and when with me is cold and uncaring. We row and he then tells me he has got another place, just in case I throw him out. We were supposed to get married in August but don't think so now, he's told me he doesn't think i'm suitable for a wife as I'm self centred, selfish, and I am not the best looking girl or best girl he has ever been out with. He also cheated on me
2007-12-11 01:24:04 · 25 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
DUMP HIM
Please think carefully about marriage, it should be a wonderful joyous time to celebrate each others love.
He sounds awful and he could be abusive in the future as he sounds very controlling. He will never make you happy and, by the sound of it, will never give you security
You are far too good to be with someone who just wants to put you down especially when you most need support.
Find a good friend or relative to be around for the birth.
Think of yourself and your new baby and go forward to have a great life
:-)
2007-12-11 01:29:02 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
Pregnant or not,I'd dump this disrespectful rat.
Have some self respect and self worth,he doesn't deserve you at all by the sounds of it.
And I certainly wouldn't be kept a secret for no-one.
He thinks your not suitable for a wife-you're not the best looking girl or best girl he's ever been out with-he cheated on you-he shows no interest in your pregnancy-expects you to do all the chores at 35 wks pregnant-goes out with his mates all the time & doesn't take you-he's uncaring-tells you he has another place incase you throw him out etc.....
Sorry but if all those reasons alone are not enough to make you see sense,then I don't know what will.
People like him will continue to treat you this way simply cos you allow them to. We all have choices,so please try and see that you are on a road to no-where with this self centred waste of space.
Either that or he will have to change,but more to the point,want to change by waking up and seeing his major faults.
I personally think he knows he has you where he wants you and knows he can get away with almost anything he throws at you,sorry hun but it's time you changed all that and made him see it's end or mend.
We all have our faults,but he sounds oblivious to all of his major faults.
Don't let this rat drag you down any longer,you really can live without men like him.
If you think he's this bad now ,God help you when the baby arrives.
There is life after rats you know,just set your stakes higher next time and find someone who deserves and respects you and your child.
Goodluck with your new arrival,thats who you should put all your energy into,not him.
2007-12-11 03:11:50 · answer #2 · answered by tinyfeet64 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
It might not be easy for you since you're 35 weeks pregnant, but you have got to leave that rubbish as soon as possible.
Apparently he has no respect or interest in you, I think you know it, so why are you still hanging onto him?
What you need to do is to kick him out of your house, concentrate on the childbirth and the coming baby, you will have a lot to deal with once the baby's born.
(Im a new mum, my baby is near 3 months old.)
and I think you should be careful with the baby as that guy might use him/her as excuse to hassel you in the future. you never know what a rubbish would do??
Lucky that you are not married to him, if not, there's lots more legal thing to deal with??
Gosh, just get rid of him NOW, and look after yourself and ejoy the motherhood.
It's so sweet and everything will be worth it when you see your baby.
by the way I got induction too, it was very painful (the contractions are far more strong than natural one).maybe you can consider to use Epidural! I used it and i think it's the best thing ever for women in labour!!!
oh, get your mum/close female friend to be with you at those days, you need someone around to be company and share all the emotions.
Good luck!!
2007-12-11 07:27:04 · answer #3 · answered by =)) 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I cant believe that you are asking if your should ditch this guy? But then again you are pregnant & I know how I was very insecure during my pregnancy, so I,ll let ya off the hook on that one, but regarding his overall attitude & loyalty towards you is the deal breaker here, this is just a heck of a idiot you got yourself pregnant by, & I mean no disrespect. In this day & age no matter what country or state you live in it is hard to raise a child alone, so I dont think dumping him is the answer, & you never know, once he actually sees his child he may change? It depends on if he has a heart or doesnt & this will be the real factor in determining if you should get rid of him or not? If he acts cold & flat when he sees his child, get rid of him! As this is no good for the baby or you, but lets hope that he sees his child & falls in love, regardless I say call his mommy & daddy & tell them the wonderful news, let them know they are grandparents, as it is selfish & imature to not let them know, & I cant understand why he hasnt told them & dont tell me its because of money or that hes nigerian, at the end of the day, we are all human, so tell his family the longer you put it off the worse it will be!
2007-12-11 01:46:38 · answer #4 · answered by penelope 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I just cannot believe that he moans if the house is not clean, my experience of Nigerians is that all they are interested in is a 42 inch plasma on the wall in their lounge. As soon as they open the front door there is a stench which makes you want to vomit, they are well dressed but stink of BO, do they not wash? AIDs is rife in the African community and 60% of them are HIV positive, so if I were you I would be more concerned about who his 'mates' actually are because he is probably not fussy about who he sleeps with. Get out of the the 'relationship' and expect to be a single mother.
At your age you really should be a little more savvy.
2007-12-11 08:47:54 · answer #5 · answered by georgeygirl 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He has used you, babes. I am sorry to say that but read out what you wrote and imagine it being from someone else...
He probably has a Nigerian girl waiting right for him.....DONT EVEN THINK OF MARRYING HIM EITHER for him to tell you those things like he is ashamed of you and you're not the best he's been with... you and child deserve a better start than that with some deadbeat boyf and father...do it by yourself it is better in the long run and for your sanity...Dont make him lower your self esteem anymore or degrade you...Nigerian men and just some African men in general have a habit of trying to rule you and have full control over you....email me if you want to talk , I'm here xxxxxx
2007-12-11 01:49:35 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
Wow. Get out of there while you still can. You deserve someone so much better. Whatever you do, don't marry him. Sounds like he has not yet grown up and not ready to take on responsabilities. Throw him out before he leaves you. Don't give him the chance to cheat on you again. Find someone who deserves you. Good luck x
2007-12-11 01:32:49 · answer #7 · answered by Notts Bubbles :) 3 · 3⤊ 0⤋
Oh my God. He's disgusting. I realise you're pregnant but please find the strength to get out of this relationship. Surround yourself with as many friends and family members as possible for support. He will never change, is completely disrespectful and is not a nice person to have around your child.
He will never, ever make you or your child happy so cut your losses now. Good luck. x
2007-12-11 03:45:38 · answer #8 · answered by waley 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
GET AWAY FROM HIM!!! Hes a pig and only using you. I would find a way to contact his mother and tell her everything!!!! Her son is an embarrassment to their family in his actions and irresponsibility. He is trying to hurt you so you will be the bad guy and make him leave and break up with him because hes not man enough to do it first. Stay in good standing with him until you find out how to speak to his mother and then tell him to F--- Off!!! Hes a loser!
2007-12-11 01:48:04 · answer #9 · answered by jslorri 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Honey, I think you know the answer to this question. He's cheated, makes derogatory comments about the way you look, says you aren't suitable as a wife, won't tell his family that you are knocked up.....time to set him out with the trash. Your child needs a healthy family life.
2007-12-11 01:41:07 · answer #10 · answered by gypsy g 7 · 4⤊ 0⤋