Daughter or Lover?

Question

Before getting married to my last wife, Regina, I had reservations about her daughter, Chloe. She was 15, attractive, and had quite the little attitude about her. As an older man with no experience with children, I wasn't so sure I could handle her. They both convinced me otherwise and we finally got married. Things between Chloe and me went great. We got along wonderfully, however, I can't say the same about her mom. We fought and fought, and after four long years, we called it quits. The divorce has just been finalized. I tried to move on by seeing other women but something was missing, I longed for something, but I wasn't sure just what.
Yesterday I heard a knock at the door. I opened it up to find Chloe, crying that she missed me. I felt very proud, untill she started talking about how we can be together now that her mom was out of the picture. She tried to kiss me (with tongue) and tonight she wants to spend the night. I don't know what to do. She is very (continues below)

attractive and totally legal. I cant stop thinking about her and I recently realized, she is what I have been missing all this time. Should I give it a shot?

Answer 1

You've more than proved you can handle children, but now you'll have to prove that you can handle a barely legal adult.

Let her spend the night tonight, but remember that she still has feelings for you in a fatherly capacity. In order to have a meaningful and romantic relationship, you will have to destroy any paternal respect she may still feel for you.

If you really love her as a burgeoning sexual creature, you must slip in her room tonight with a ski mask, ball-gag and bull whip, and systematically deconstruct the last remnants of childlike trust and modesty she may be feeling.

By morning, you should have a clean slate (after you mop the floor) to begin your new relationship.

Answer 2

No. What you are experiencing is 'normal' and what she is experiencing is 'normal' as well. She is far too young to understand that the reason she is attracted to you is because you were the stable guy within her life that gave her a constant love and she returned that love with innocence. What she is missing is the friendship and closeness. Her hormones are making her want to take it to a deeper level...a more sexual level. You need to have more control over the situation and let her know you will always be there for her, but not in that way.

What you are missing is the closeness of a relationship. You are experiencing -- the empty nest. You want her back because you've watched her grow into a young woman and with the divorce you were ultimately left alone in an "empty nest". Try to get back in the game by being more social and maybe joining a few community projects...maybe take a few classes.

If you go to bed with your ex step-daughter there will be trouble. You will ultimately ruin a relationship between a mother and a daughter. You may hate your ex-wife but bedding her daughter is wrong on many different levels. If you feel like the daughter may have too much control over you...masturbate before you see her, which will help keep your parasympathetic nervous system in control. Ultimately it will help you think without being distracted by arousal.

Let her know that it is wrong and if you guys just can't be friends -- you shouldn't see each other. You are the one that needs to take control of the situation.

Answer 3

Reverse the roles for a moment in your head. If you had a son that was 15 when you got married to your ex and after your divorce was final, your son, who is now of legal age, hooked up with your ex wife how comfortable would you be about that and why would you think your ex wife was hooking up with your son? Think about it for a minute.

Also, where do you think the relationship between you and your ex step daughter would really go? It's not like you'll be excepted by her parents and if you have any children from a previous marriage how are they going to feel about the whole relationship? Are you willing to put so many people through an emotional turmoil for a relationship that is doomed from the beginning and is highly doubtful to last past 3 years? Therefore you're about to go down a road for a 3 year f***. So my question to you is it worth it??

Answer 4

your step daugther might be attractive an all into you but you are stepping into a mess! You are gonna come between a mom an daugther an that's wrong of you! She needs her mom an if you go through this you aren't gonna be happy with the choice! no matter what happens or doesn't this girl is gonna have a hard time/ life w\o her mom! You was her role model for years, like her dad an now you want to sleep with your kid?Think about that an then if you feel comfortable about what you decided then no one can stop you do your thing! You will ultimately regret it!! Good Luck

Answer 5

See a lawyer.

It is a matter of legality in most states(local laws governs it).

Socially it is unacceptable, but you can always find new social circle and not mention the facts.

I do not know how old you are but she is only around 19 years old now, very young by any standard, so be care full.

Allow time, time will tell.

Have her read my article on this subject.
**************************
General Advice to Young People
By
Minootoo


This is my general advice to all.

You sound very young and if you are under 25, then study hard if in school or college, stay and finish it. Or join a school or college, acquire higher education.

Avoid distraction while studying at home or at school, just concentrate on the thing that you do at the time you are doing.

Build a carrier, youth comes but once take full advantage of it. Study hard, play some enjoy friendship, and then at age 30 if still unattached then try the sites like.

yahoo.shadii.com

jivansathii.com

Answer 6

You are asking for more trouble than you really want. If you had a bad relationship with her mother, THIS will NOT make it better!

Examine this situation and your own soul.

What is her relationship with her mother? Is it possible that she wants to hurt her mother by being with you?

Is it possible that you want to hurt her mother by being with the daughter? Divorce can make people awfully hurt and cause us to feel like lashing back.

If either of these situations is possible, will it make for a good long-term relationship? Are you truly thinking with the head that is on top of your shoulders?

My advise? No. not with this child who is not as familiar with the world as you are. She may be legal, but she is not your equal in many things.

Get out there and find a woman who is A) more appropriate and B) you have no history with her family and C) isn't part of any possible mid-life fantasy. I'm sure there are plenty out there.

P.S to ♪Msz. Nena♫
While it is true that love has no boundaries, how we express love and how we act with our fellow human beings does have boundaries. We also have to be sure that what we feel actually IS love. Human beings are often mistaken and we do things in the name of love that can be truly abhorrent.

Answer 7

I know that sometimes people can't help what you feel for someone. But have you thought about what this will do to her mother? Has she thought about it?

Their relationship will be ruined and it never will be the same...
She may have feelings for you, but what if things don't work out between the both of you? Her relationship with her mother will be tarnished. She will only have one mother. A mother who will and I'm sure has always had her back...

The both of you really need to think this through and talk about everything. The people you will hurt and the consequences you will have to pay...

Good Luck and God Bless!

Answer 8

Wow... I guess legally you could. Just be careful, she may be legal, but at 19 she's still very young. You should also take into consideration her mom, and how she would react, and how much of an impact her reaction could have on you, and also on Chloe.

But, really, there is no biological roadblock, there is no legal roadblock, and the moral roadblock is completely subjective, and depends on many considerations only you can determine. I'm sure Sigmund Freud would have a field day with Chloe.... but that is neither here nor there.

I don't know how people on this forum will judge you, but you've done nothing wrong.

Answer 9

NO.......are you kidding me. Obviously this girl although legal, has some sort of problems emotionally. I don't think you should act on it, I think you should explain to her that you see her as a daughter, (even when it's obvious you are thinking otherwise) somewhere along the way somebody had to step out of bound. I suggest that not only do you reject her, you shouldn't even be around her...you are asking for trouble. Are you sure nothing has ever happened? What did you do when she tried to kiss you?

Answer 10

Well, when she has a child with someone her own age, hopefully, it is a girl. That way when you're 75, you will have another relationship prospect. You have some serious issues that need to be addressed. Think about it this way: If you somehow ended up married to Chloe, then your ex-wife would now be your mother-in-law. Interesting concept.