what would you do....?

Question

Last night a co work lost her husband
....early during the year she lost her first child.... four months after lost her dad and last night she lost her husband....
wow!!... Sometimes I can't believe life... I think I would go crazy if I was in her shoes... My husband and I sometimes argue... but at the end of the day thats my world...

Answer 1

Be there for her. Let her know that no matter what she might need, you will be there to support her. Then do it.
Try to make sure she has a support mechanism around her; family, church, professional counsellors. Also, try to determine if she has legal rights that should be considered and that she has consulted an attorney. This is hard, especially if you were not particularly close. But, it's the kind of thing she needs. Maybe ask a family member?? If you are close, you could probably talk to her about it.

Do not assume that she will be fine, that she will "move on." She won't. Ever. We all expect to lose our parents one day. It's hard when it happens but we know it's going to happen.

But we never expect to lose a child. She's not over her grief from losing her child. She never will be. And when we marry we want to grow old together. Now this....

Her life will never be the same, no matter what/how she may appear to you. She is changed forever and will grieve until the day she dies.

Sadly, there really isn't anything you or anyone can do about that. It is her private struggle that only she can endure. You can do little things to make her days nicer, and it will make her feel better. But ultimately, you can't take away her pain.

SO... do nice things, be nice, let her know that you care. That's it for the immediate. In the long term, particularly is she doesn't come back to work, check on her once in a while; like every month or so for the next year or longer. Have coffee, just talk about whatever she wants to talk about. It will make a difference.

Answer 2

I would go on, somehow. I have gone on, somehow. After I lost my child I thought my world would end, it didn't even though I wanted it to. The only way I made it through was because I had very VERY supportive people around me. The best thing anyone ever said to me--Look around you, the world didn't stop, just your part of it.

Reach out to her. Be there for her. Hug her. She needs every friend she has right now. After a while, help her refind the world.

Really makes you count your blessings doesn't it? I may have lost a child to stillbirth and my brother to cancer but I was so lucky that I had friends and other children to see me through!

Answer 3

I can relate. November of '05 I lost my mom and then 6 months later, I lost my wife of 15 years to cancer. It's hard, but I believe God has a purpose for each of us, so I moved forward. My three young kids deserve it... I have to think of them first.

Answer 4

I really don't know if I would be strong enough to just grieve and move on. I would try to be as strong as possible for my remaining kids, but privately, I would be a nut case. My heart goes out to her. She'll probably need the support in month and months to come...even years.

Answer 5

I would be thankful for what I have in my life and give a helping hand to this woman. When you hear of someone going through this much grief and heartache in one year, it makes you appreciate what you have in your life and those 'little problems' in your life don't seem to matter so much.

Hope everyone is doing all they can to assist your co-worker.

Answer 6

Oh man, that's terrible.

My condolences to your co-worker on the loss of of her child, her dad and now her husband.

I know if something like that happened to me, I would grieve their loss, but I also would seek comfort in my family, and friends, and also my church family and my pastor.

I have friends who have lost family that was really close to them, and their church family was there for love and support and it really helped them alot.

Answer 7

true life is all about the wicked games that the all mighty plays with us but again at the end of the day its the destiny that wins....we argue with our loved one's n r polite to strangers so is it that we take our own people for granted and strangers for respect.....i really wud go mad if i was in ur co-workers place but trust me she is brave that she's still living with a hope for the coming days.....

Answer 8

geez - does your husband know that literally every picture on your 360 profile is you with your boobs hanging out? In 3 of the 5 you are so exposed people can see your bra? i mean come on - you *really* have an exposure issue. and of course it is on purpose - that "oops I didn't know my boobs were falling out of my shirt" routine is phony, right?

http://360.yahoo.com/profile-gCjwFrA9erMtbINcJFmgsRnixVcM_hayhEs-

and that 3 of the last 5 messages to you are "Flirts" from other guys?

yeah, that's some happily married world you live in.

so - what was the question again?

Answer 9

God bless this woman! I can't even imagine being in her place - just be there for her, give her love and support.

Answer 10

What would I do? Grieve and move on. Tragedy sometimes seems to hit one person harder than anyone else with terrible things occuring in their life over and over.

People are strong and resilient though, if they choose to be. Your coworker will be fine, in time. I'm very sorry to hear of her losses though...may better times lie ahead for her.