I recently found out that my 36yr old husband was having an affair with a 16yr old girl. He knew she was 16 and he believes that he is in love with her. We've been married 10 yrs and I don't know what to make of this. I did call police and turn him in and so did the girls parents and he tells me he feels I betrayed him. They confiscated his car because thats where they were having sex and they confiscated his cellphone because they were texting one another. He took nude pics of himself but claims he never sent them her phone does not take pics I've seen it. Even after he realized he was in trouble with the law he has still made an effort to contact her and see her so he can get closure. I don't understand any of this. He wants her to tell him why its over and wants to know how she feels, he's not grasping that he violated this child and took her virginity. Is he living in a fantasy, has he lost all sense of reality. They've only know eachother for 2 1/2 mo. Can anyone make any sense?
2007-12-10 23:40:13 · 20 answers · asked by latinamochalatte20052000 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
First off this guy is f...in sick n he really deserves to go to prison. I think u were in your right mind for turnin him in. N that girls parents should slap the sh.t outta her for be stupid enough to hav sex with him
2007-12-10 23:46:16 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 3⤊ 0⤋
Now let me get all of this right...OK? you've been married to a man for 10 yrs, he has now had an affair with a minor and YOU ARE CONCERNED WHETHER HE WILL GO TO PRISON OR RECEIVE PROBATION. Mam, your problems go a whole lot deeper than worring about your loser of a husband. For beginners, he ain't a husband, he ain't even a real man. He needs to be put under a jail, not in it, if that was my daughter, I would see that he does some serious time. I can not believe you are worried about what they are doing to him. He done the crime, now he''s got to do the time. This man has some serious problems that someone needs to address. There is no way anyone can make sense of any of this ...I just know I would not stand beside a man that had these kinds of actions, its almost if though he don't know right from wrong,. My *** would be long gone. It don't matter how much you love him. He was unfaithful, he is low down dirty dog and there is no way you can sugar coat the whole mess. Get out and let him face the consequences. . .
2007-12-11 08:11:00 · answer #2 · answered by lucylocket7258 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He should get jail time and I will be surprised if he doesn't. He is sick. I don't understand why you care how he sees this in his mind. As soon as I found out and called the cops I would have packed my stuff and been out the door. Even faster if I had kids. There's no way in hell I could ever look at him again without feeling nauseous.......
I disagree with Henry only one point. There are a lot of states that are 16, but their are some that are 17 and 18 too. I would have to believe that if the police stepped in, your state must not be 16. Police don't get involved unless a crime has been committed.
2007-12-11 08:30:10 · answer #3 · answered by ♦justme♦ 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You don't know how to make sense of the fact that he's a pedophile? You did the right thing. He doesn't even realize how sick this is if he's still making attempts to contact her. He might not grasp what he's done yet but he will once the law shows him the error of his ways. He will probably get some prison time. In that case, sell everything you own, put his half in a savings account for when he gets out and go start your life over with your half. File for a divorce and move on.
2007-12-11 07:52:24 · answer #4 · answered by oracleofohio 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Someone very close to me was wrongly accused of raping an underage girl and I know how it can make you feel ashamed and depressed, in my case the girl later confessed that she was lying because she said that she felt rejected because he wouldn't sleep with her so she was going to pay him back by accusing him of rape.
I can only imagine how hard it is realize it is true (in this case it was consented to but still...)! My heart goes out to you. The best thing you can do is first, get rid of all of his belongings (ALL of them), if you have children, then you need to get a good custody lawyer. Do not talk to him, and if he is coming around, stop it. You need time to grieve the loss of your marriage. what you thought was solid turned out to be unstable. Do not let him make you feel guilty, you did the right and moral thing (something he hasnt done in quite a while from the sounds of it.) I don't know specifics, but it sounds to me like your husband may have an atrraction to teenage girls, so if you have children, watch them like a hawk, and if he does get any visitation, make SURE they are supervised visits. Take all he has honey, your life came crashing down around you because of his mess up. If you arent going to take all he has (or if he has nothing) split everything up and cut all ties. He is obviously in his own little dream world. Its not your fault, you betrayed no one. Once this is all over in court, wash you hands of him and the whole situation and move on with your life. It will take time, but you seem to be a strong woman, hold your head up and don't let it get in your way of having a happy life.
Hope all turns out in your favor. Good luck!!
2007-12-11 08:50:29 · answer #5 · answered by unknown 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Depends on what state you are in. And how old she was when this all began. In some states the legal age of consent is 16 and in that case he is not in danger of prison or probation. If he took pictures of her, however that could still be considered a crime.
2007-12-11 10:31:28 · answer #6 · answered by chinamigarden 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I hate to say this but I just looked up legal consent ages in the U.S. and most are 16.If she and I'm not a lawyer consented to have sex it may prove hard to convict him.You and I both know it's morally wrong but it appears he's living in another universe.Was he having sex before she turned 16. If so burn him for everything he owns.God luck.So sorry you married a jerk and a pervert.
2007-12-11 07:54:32 · answer #7 · answered by Henry B 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
excuse me, he is the one who betrayed you, and your marital vow, for 1... yes, he will go to prison, and when he gets out, he won't be able to get a job because noone will want to hire him and noone will want him around their kids... and he will be labeled a pedophile... even if he does not want to admit he is one... I am certain he probably was into teen porn, as well, on your computer? how she "feels" is of no concern to him... it's none of his business... he took advantage of a young girl, he took advantage of you, as well... if you have kids, do not let them around this man anymore, "father" or not! yes, it will be prison... are you in the USA?
she probably still has the nude pics of him in her phone... or she printed them out, that's possible too, to send them to her pc...
anyway, the contact alone on the computer or phone will send him to prison, even if there was no "proof of sex"...
Make sure you don't talk to this man anymore and make sure you divorce him... good luck to you...
Mary
I agree w/ someone up there, prisoners hate pedophiles... they will screw him in his butt... lol! sorry, but, he deserves everything he does/doesn't get... even if he thinks she "loves" him, he's still a pedophile... and, a cheater...
he will not be able to have a life when he gets out of prison...make sure you don't help get him one, either...
I disagree w/ Henry down there, the age is 18... only 17 if you are married first w/ parental consent...
2007-12-11 07:53:33 · answer #8 · answered by elvlayarvvi fEisty wife and mom 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your husband will go to jail where he deserves to be !!! You did the right thing !!! The girl has some serious therapy in her future and will hopefully be able to have a healthy life in the future.
And , you need to divorce him and move on with your life. He is scum, you gave him many years of your life and just crap on you to serve his own sick needs. The best of luck !!!!
2007-12-11 10:08:57 · answer #9 · answered by Caturday 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The real question here is why do you care?
You seem to be trying to reconcile your relationship with him. You don't seem to be angry with him and are making an effort to understand him, Why?
He is below scum on the evolutionary ladder. Get away from him and forget about him.
Yoda out
2007-12-11 07:53:36 · answer #10 · answered by Yoda 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋