I can't love anyone?

Question

I'm 15 and basically to sum it up, everyone who I've ever loved in my life (my dad, grandpa, aunts, cousins, ect). I've never had any friends or anything. So anyway, my problem is that I can't like love anyone anymore. I can care for a person but I don't love them and I won't tell them I love them either if even I thought I did because if I tell them, I'm afraid they'll just end up leaving me like everyone else has. I can't trust anyone to do anything nice for me without wondering if they had an ulterior motive. I can't stand having people touching me. I just have a really hard time relating to people and getting them to like me. Even since I was young and I think I was really nice. I even remember doing kids' homework in school so they would like me. How can I make myself more normal? Thanks.

Sorry part of the first sentence cut off. To finish it off, I was saying that everyone who I ever loved always ends up leaving me.

I don't have anything secret that I can tell anyone. They wouldn't understand and would probably be put off. I've tried making friends. People just don't respond to me. People who says they hate me look at me like I'm crazy if I offer them help with something.

It's just that my family says I'm insensitive. My mom's even called me a "cold-hearted b*tch" before and I don't understand why. I don't want to end up alone and I want to be a loving person.

I don't feel they owe me a debt and most of those people don't speak to me anymore. Also, yes, they intended to hurt me. They said they hated me.

No, Yoda. I'm not talking about being in love with anyone (I don't think anyone finds true love as a teen). I'm saying that I can't love people in general. It's not hormones and lust because I've been like this since I was younger. I can't trust people to my be friend or anything just for the sole reason that they like me.

Answer 1

As far as disappointments go... well these people have hurt you whether they meant to or not. But the only one that can allow them to keep hurting you is YOU. To be bitter and/or unforgiving towards them will keep you (not them) hurting forever, if you don't decide to take control of your feelings. Give them the benefit of the doubt, that they were ignorant and release them from the debit you feel they owe you.

I was hurt badly recently and wrote the following during that dark time:
What then do we do with it when our love feels like pearls cast before swine? Well, forgive and keep on loving. Love radically! *Love your enemies. * Bless those that curse you *Do good to them that hate you *Pr@y for those who despitefully use you and purposely hurt you.

When you take care of these feelings then you'll see things get better. You are on the right track, you are seeking help, there is one that can help you if you just ask. Love exists, you just need realize how valuable you are, then belive and expect it . I hope this helps you.

Answer 2

I knew you were 15 because you said you "can't love anyone anymore." Young people tend to be fatalistic when describing their problems. You are only 15, give yourself a break. No one expects you to be in "Love" at your age. You need to learn who you are and then learn to love yourself first.

How can you give love to someone when you have no love or faith in youself?

Most kids your age have feelings, but most of what they tell you is love is really hormones and lust.

I am curious as to why you don't like people to touch you. You sound like C type personality. That means that while you don't hate people, you could live without them. It also means that you could be a neat freak or that certain messy things drive you insane. Like piles of paper or dirty dishes. You could be more of a loner, you probably don't like change in your life. Being in crowds makes you uncomfortable.

If this is true, then you will have to force yourself into these situations and be aware of your feelings, you then must overcome your feelings, if this is what you desire. Most people with your behavior patterns will just become more and more isolated and find happiness in this way of life. It is up to you to make the changes if you desire to do so. You can change yourself, but it is up to you.
If you want more information on behavioral types you can do a google search for DISC profiling. Many companies will offer a test for unser $20. If you take the test answer the questions honestly for the best results. You will then get a profile of your behavior patterns. Once you have that you will see where you need to implement change if you want to.

Yoda out

Answer 3

that is really sad that you have had your heart broken at such a young age, try not to force love it is ok to be guarded, it is ok to be carefull who you trust. You need some confidence though, you shouldn't feel that you need to do things to make people like you more you should only do things that make you like you more things that make you proud to be you, things that make you feel good about yourself, friends and lovers are not worth having if they see you as someone that you are not and eventually the will leave when they see that you are not being yourself. You don't have to prove your worth to anyone but yourself .. You seem really strong for your age and i am sure that with time you will find some people in your life that you can trust and eventually love. it's hard to be lonley i know.. sorry i wasn't much help..

Answer 4

First of all you have to love yourself, before you can love anyone.

People come and go all the time that is for sure, it is an ever changing world for sure.

Never do something for someone in hopes they will like you! Only think of yourself and do what you want to do just for the sake of doing it.

You are only 15 and have a long ways to go in growing. Meanwhile, concentrate on your studies. Enjoy the process.

Answer 5

You're going to have to work through your issues first. And being 15, people are going to be in and out of your life for years to come. And the true people will be there forever. And just don't try so hard.

Answer 6

im like this too except im not afraid of anyone leaving me because i just dont care in the first place... ive been like this since i was little

i also hate it when people touch me or stand to close to me, i hate hugging, i havent given someone a hug in like a year or something. just hug people let people hug you and youll get over it

people come, people go. what you should do is just not analyze yourself so much and just take things as they are, accept things. and move on. once you do youll realize its not so bad. and youll start to care for people that you feel are worth your while... it will take time

Answer 7

who so ever you love leaves you one day or the other that the rule of the game of life. so please don't want to stick with the people whom you love let them go than only other loving people will come in your life this is how life moves ahead.
as far as your second problem is concerned i.e. you feel that nobody loves you than you are wrong you have just become insecure and thats why you don't let other people come in your life to love you and believe me they would love to love you.
in fact i inckude myself among them.

Answer 8

You don't have to trust anyone, just go make friends. Like you just talk to them and hang out with them, but don't tell them your secrets or anything.When you know them better,you will like them naturally (if they're nice). :)

Answer 9

i have the EXACT same problem exept i cant even care. The sate your in right now lets you focus better and work harder. stay like like this. No betrayal no distractions no pain

Answer 10

You're still young angel. just wait, things will work themselves out