My husband and I have been together for 3 years, and married since July. 3 wks after we got home from the honeymoon, I found out I was pregnant. Early on in the pregnancy, my husband found a better paying job closer to home and I am up for a job that is in my field of study (I'm currently in my Jr. year of college). All was going well until yesterday morning. My husband called into work sick, Shortly after he called work, he was feeling better, and i suggested that he go back 2 work. He didnt want 2. Shortly later, a message on the machine was firing him. His boss later relayed the message that if he went to work for a half day, he would understand and could keep his job. My husband refused. So I left. I feel betrayed. He had the chance to right the wrong but didn't. We're in a small town with little jobs. I told him I won't go back until he fixes the mistake he made. He says I'm making a big deal over nothing. I say we've got a baby on the way and to grow up. Was I wrong 2 leave him?
2007-12-10 23:28:54 · 16 answers · asked by unknown 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
This is not the first time he has done this. I had to take a second job last year for two months and work 70-75 hours a week for min. wage while going to school to pay the bills. He has a history of this....
2007-12-10 23:47:46 · update #1
your not wrong he is a lazy bum and alway will be/bet your a good looking women to good luck
2007-12-10 23:58:56 · answer #1 · answered by john 5 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Your husband was not fired for calling in sick. He would be able to sue his employer if this was the case. There are other job performance issues going on that he has not shared with you. He probably heard he was going to get canned so he did not go into work. Avoidance of a problem - not a good trait.
I think you were wrong to respond to this issue by leaving. He has responsibilities now that you are pregnant and you leaving does a couple of things: 1. it lets him off the hook! 2. it does not resolve anything 3. it damages the trust between you because you have opened the door to the marriage ending - why would you work on things if you know the other person is willing to give up and leave?
There needs to be better joint problem solving skills and you guys need to set mutual goals that you will both stick to.
2007-12-10 23:59:27 · answer #2 · answered by xxxxxxxxx 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
So, in three years you never suspected he was lazy?
I think there is something more than meets the eye here. This doesn't make sense. A man does this when he is upset about something. He may be scared of what is coming and is copping out to avoid responsibility. He may be really upset with something that happened at work and just cannot go back there.
The whole boss calling and saying if he worked a half of day thing has me puzzled. What kind of boss would do that to an employee? I mean if he is sick why would want to bring him in for half a day and infect the other workers? My gut says that there is something else going on here. You need to check your anger and talk to him about what he is feeling inside. Men do get emotional about things and often do not know what to do with these emotions, so they go crazy.
Yoda out
2007-12-10 23:38:53 · answer #3 · answered by Yoda 5 · 3⤊ 1⤋
You have to know the real underlying factor why he refused to go back. There maybe something more to it. Why don't you talk it out with him. Get to his heart and "listen" to what he has to say. If he decides to quit the current job, then perhaps he has something up his mind to offset this decision. Who knows he might have found a better one?
You won't be able to know unless you really sit down and talk about it .
2007-12-10 23:39:33 · answer #4 · answered by ? 7 · 0⤊ 1⤋
This is typical of women. You feel you where wrong for something that he did. You are not wrong. He is being immature and accountable. He is up to something! If he doesn't want to be responsible for his child he sure is going about it. I would start making huge boundaries and tell him to get off his dead **** and get a job. If you don't go back will you lose your apartment or home? Ask yourself, do I have the means to support this child? Is there someone that can help you with your living expenses? I'm sorry you have to go thought this in a time when life should be filled with joy. He is a self-serving jerk and it won't get any better unless he makes some huge changes to his personality. Good luck and congrats on the baby. Bless you.
2007-12-10 23:37:00 · answer #5 · answered by Rosa 5 · 2⤊ 4⤋
No you weren't incorrect. the the remainder of you have been waiting on time, so became your cousin and she or he became asked on the final minute! Your "chum" procrastinated in waiting til the day of the stay overall performance to get an outfit. It became her own fault and she or he payed the end results of her thoughtless strikes. looking forward to the the remainder of you to await her and be previous due through fact of her strikes is egocentric and intensely thoughtless. you probably did precisely the main suitable project. Too undesirable she neglected out with the help of not be responsive to-how that throughout the time of being previous due, the worldwide is going on without you.
2016-10-01 08:46:22 · answer #6 · answered by Erika 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Wow!!! While I agree he should work and would expect him to immediately get another job, honey, how will you handle the big challenges in life together if you'll leave him over this. I could understand if he chronically did not have work, but to lose a job and immediately you leave... wow! Have you talked with him? Maybe he really hated that job? Again, I would expect him to find another one immediately, but I do think you jumped the gun on this one...
2007-12-10 23:36:45 · answer #7 · answered by Wildflower 6 · 3⤊ 1⤋
I'm floored that because your husband called in sick for ONE DAY, that his boss called him to fire him over that?? That's totally ridiculous... unless your husband has been calling in sick alot, I just find this outrageous behavior from his boss. I understand your position and why you would leave if he won't work... I just feel there is more to this story than calling in sick for one day and being fired.... strange.
2007-12-10 23:39:03 · answer #8 · answered by Racer 7 · 4⤊ 1⤋
Maybe you need to find out why he did it. But you are doing the same to him as he did with his job. You need to find out why he did it. If he doesnt say or just because he is lazy, then that is a problem and you should leave.
2007-12-10 23:38:27 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
No good will come out by staying with a man that refuses to get off of his butt and go to work.
2007-12-10 23:32:43 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 3⤊ 1⤋
You are correct... he left his job, so, you left him... my guess is word got out before he called off that he was planning to call off! so, his boss called him about it!
Yes, this man needs to grow up...
Stay away until he does grow up, or this child is in deep trouble one day...
Good Luck! =)
2007-12-10 23:33:53 · answer #11 · answered by elvlayarvvi fEisty wife and mom 6 · 2⤊ 2⤋