is he losing interest or may bee even cheating?

Question

he s been acting strange lately....or is he?
ive been very unsure of myself lately and it feels like my boyfreind of 2 years is feeling the same!
my suspision got the best of me....we are constantly fight...about nothing!

im so afraid of being alone? why?
how will i deal ive his been cheating on me?
is my mind playing games with me bcoz my self steam is low?

weve been dating for 2 years now and living together for a year now, in the beginning everthing was perfect, i was sure that we will be married in the next 2 to 3 years, he spoke abt engagement quite a lot but seems that that is the last thing on his mind now!
his friends is constantly in the way... i cnt remember we last we had some quality time alone? which we enjoyed!

with my low selfsteam i dnt feel like going any where anymore, i feel that i embaress he, is it true?
how can i get this relationship back on track?

but fairy tales dont last do they?

Answer 1

Hi,
I am concerned about you. I think you are taking a lot of stress. You said you feel you have self esteem, and added to that you feel your relation is not going anywhere, added to that you have fights. All this must be taking a lot of toll on you. This is not good for you, first let us take care of you and then let us worry about the relation later.
I am not doubting the committment and I dont want to think whether he is cheating you or not. But the more important point is that there seems to be problems between you two. And a longer term committment is not recommended now. Pleae make sure you dont accidentally get pregnant in your attempt to solve the relation. I think you need to take things slower now.
Please think why you have low self esteem. List out what make you feel so. Think about your actions, others reaction towards you, your boy friend's behaviour to you, all that. List out what make you feel so. Try to change things you could change yourself. Keep your boyfriend and all others away from this for now.
You dont need to feel embarassed to go out. Go out and see around. Hang around in places where a lot of people are there, like library, book-shop, mall, movies, shops, parks, what all you can think of. Dont do anything special. Just dress neatly and go and hang around there. Dont associate with anyone also. just spend some time on your own. I am sure you will feel you are attractive, many people look at you, children may like you.. so many things.. You will automatically feel good about you. Listen, when you feel low, dont hide yourself from others, spend time in a place where others are and you will feel better and better.
Once you feel your feeling of low esteem has come down, look at your relation. Check whether it needs a new life or whether it could be oevr. List out what you could from your side to work it out. Try doing those. Then talk to him, see what he could do. Please make sure you dont fight. Whether he starts a fight also, dont participate. Just leave things even if he say something to blame you. After he gets tired he will stop and you can continue the talk. See whether you could sort out the issues in the relation. Tell sorry where you need to say sorry. If you want to keep the relation and if you two love each other and if he too wants to keep the relation, preserve it. Do whatever is needed for it. If not, move on. Please dont get into abuses or blame games during this. That makes you more tensed and weak. Dont take aprt in anything like that.
Take care of yourself. Eat enough, drink lot of water, do something you love like reading, listening to music, sleeping.. whatever.. Refresh you like that.. :-)
I am sure you will be fine soon.. All the best..

Answer 2

Why buy the cow when you can get the milk for free? Some of it is probably your self esteem and the other part is your women's intuition. You might need to move out of this relationship and start over. You don't have to stay stuck in a crappy relationship because you are afraid to be alone. You can take care of yourself and do perfectly fine without this man. Men don't define us as individual women. Men should enhance who we are. No one can make you except yourself. When you rely on someone else, it will never happen. You hold the key to all the issues you have discussed in your message. Now you need to learn how to use it. I would suggest some individual counseling for yourself. Work on becoming a better you.

Answer 3

i would highly recommend looking at the relationship again, if your having these problems now then your on a road for alot of them later. you need to work on you right now, get help about your self esteem issues. I drive my husband nuts, i have low self esteem as well after 4 children, am always doubting my looks and when i say something about my looks it makes my husband upset, and that causes problems. once your happy, then maybe both of you will be happy agian. maybe he is just not ready to make such a jump into marriage, the best thing to do is have a talk with him about his friend and ask him about alone time for the two of you, if he does not want to, then maybe you should move on and you deserve better then this. I get so sick of people on here saying , maybe you are not doing enough for him, do this, do that for him, well in my case i do everything and still do not get any alone time with my husband, its not always about what the man wants. im not trying to sound harsh, but its a 50 / 50 relationship and no one person should be trying to please the other all the time. good luck.

Answer 4

Don't look at your life as a Fairy Tale......if so, watch TV.....Do something romantic, You plan it all......Chocolate Fondue, get it all ready yourself.....make reservations at a restaurant go a little earlier during the afternoon, and leave a special stuffed animal, or a rose that the hostess can set for you before you get there. If his face lights up, and he smiles, then you still have him....if not.....he's gone.......Stop having low self esteem, because if he's gonna cheat, he's gonna cheat No Matter What you do

Answer 5

Love is not a fairy tale. It is a real feeling. Losing your self esteem is probably undesirable to your mate. Most men like women that feel good about themselves. It sounds to me that you have built your whole world around this relationship. That is neither fair to him or to you. You have to have interests of your own, go places, and do things that do not involve him too. Don't expect him to provide your world with excitement all of the time. That is not his job, it is yours. No one can make you happy, if you are not happy with yourself.

When he sees that you are becoming independent, he will take more of an interest, if he truly loves you. A few hints like "When are you going to find time to spend with me, or do I have to find someone else to do it?", wouldn't hurt either. If he doesn't, find someone that will. You will be feeling better about yourself anyway!!!

Answer 6

my heart goes out to you - i think you need to sit and talk to each other - let him go first, wait until he is finished dont try and cut in, you may not like what you hear, but when he is finished then you say what you need to say. If he still loves you then you can then try and work on whatever problems there may be. Choose a time where you are both not in a hurry to go anywhere and not last thing at night when you will both be tired, perhaps go for lunch somewhere quiet where no one else you know will be around, that way you wont be interupted by friends and its public place so you wont be shouting at each other. hope things get resolved for you. and its natural to fear being alone, we have been designed to love and be loved, but if things dont work out, you can learn from this experience and it should help in making things better in any future relationship.

Answer 7

Build your self esteem up again.Plan a nice outing or dinner.Get a new hair do and a nice out fit.If he does not compliment you then I would be asking afew questions to him.Also a fairy tale will end the way you wish for it to end.All the best.

Answer 8

First of all, take a deep breath, from reading your question, I could sense your stress, and girlfriend, you are under a lot of it!!!!

Just relax, and take your relationship day by day!!!

If you have all of these questions, then maby a "committment" is not right for you and your boyfriend yet.

You have so many questions and you are so tense, that is not good in a relationship.

Talk to him or talk to someone and/or go to a spa, or go swimming to release some of your stress, get some exercise if you can't go swimming.

That is what I do when I am under stress, I go swimming and then I can think clearly again!!!!!!

But just from reading your question, I am under stress!!!!!!

Answer 9

no fairy tales don't last but why don't you try real liveing your first date with him or even the one night you both felt like you were in heaven when you both held each other for the very first time ,,it is hard when you feel you are losing someone that you love so much but from my point of vew you have to bring some memories back ,,,,good luck

Answer 10

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