For those of you about to get married...?

Question

50% of marriages end in divorce. The remaining 50% that stay married are not all happy in their marriage. Let's say half of them aren't happy.

So that means you have a 75% chance you will be unhappy with your marriage.

So why are you getting married? What makes you think you will be in that 25% (assuming the real # is even as high as 25%)

Answer 1

I am getting married Aug 8 of 08. I think too many of those couples that make that higher number have not gone to Marraige preparation classes/seminars together. They are whiz bang elopers whom go to a Justice of the Peace. I also think that so many times people don't marry for the right reasons. My mother's marraige to my father ended after 24 years. For her, it was the "next step". Parental forces and pressure from friends about whom they should stay with are big factors. Also, we are more of a society that is over-run with sexuality. Our girls are growing up with the idea that a good marraige is about sex, and commercials cater to the idea that women can change men. I believe this because there are so many more anorexic girls out there starving literally for validation.

Also the Net is a big thing, and those whom want to cheat will, It's about honor and ethics, and just how much you value your own word. How many self esteem points do you give yourself for not dating married people? Our society is a "feel good" society. And I think we are in a generation that thinks that if you don't have someone, you aren't happy. These numbers don't alarm me...there are probably more reasons for couples to break up, than to stay together. But that is just it, value. WHat value do you give yourself, your partner? What are your ethics and morals. Can you fight the media, curiosity, and resist the power of the BBD (Bigger-Better-Deal).

My girlfriend and I met and within two weeks, we know that we are meant for each other. We value the idea that it isn't what you have in common, or not, it is how you decide to share what you do, and let the other person be who they are. It's about finding some things to stay together. A marraige is not about sex at all in the beginning. If your morals, values, ethics don't match, the time you spend on a person whom doesn't is a waste.

We don't all plan to fail, we fail to plan. We don't get married with the idea that it won't work. We don't bring that spare tire, or fluids for the marraige vehicle. How many couples before they marry, actually research on how to keep marraiges together before they hit the rough spots?

I think that because my fiance and I are going to make it because we are not going to let our relationship keep from getting it's daily doses of nutrition.

I hope that you can find hope with whomever you chose. Take care.

Stacy

Answer 2

This tells me nothing about marriage as it relates to being single. Since we're making up statistics, I'll say that only about 15% of single people are happy and most of them are women. As you may know from real statistics, married men are healthier, happier and live longer than single men.

I'm getting married because having a partner in life is a practical option with benefits I'd like to take advantage of and hey, I kind of like the guy too and as you saw, married men are healthier, happier and live longer!

Ah, and most divorces occur soon after children are born and most unhappy yet married people are just staying together for the kids and since I refuse to give birth, I believe my chances of true happiness are higher! Children are a strain on a relationship. Not having children means more time for each other and a closer relationship.

Answer 3

Wow, you're a real downer.....marriage is about trust and communication.....both of which are lacking in most marriages, which is why there is such a high divorce/unhappiness rate. If you keep the communication open and know ALL of the issues prior to the marriage, there is far less chance of failure, b/c you know where your spouse stands. I.E. if you haven't talked about finances and priorities, then you do so before marriage, so that no one spends too much or gets hurt feelings over a miscommunication. Children are a big one too....how will you raise them; discipline them, etc.....if you are on the same page, there is no reason to have such poor results!!

Answer 4

I'm 35 - Never been married. I've wondered the same thing, and yet, the fact is, for some folks, there really are benefits.
And for some there aren't. Some folks just meant for a life of that sort of thing. They are simply too selfish with themselves in too many ways.

Answer 5

i do no longer think of approximately it because of the fact i think all human beings is entitled to dislike me. If I even have given them a reason then i think as a replace of protecting grudges we would desire to constantly have the skill to speak like adults, and get to the basis of the subject. If it won't be in a position to be fastened then, I say the hell! with it. you at the instant are not likely to delight all people all of the time, and interior the words of my mom "human beings hated Jesus so what makes you think of you're above human beings hating you" i think family individuals relationships can in elementary terms be ruined in case you enable them to be. existence has taught me that some human beings take the easy way out and now and returned it incredibly is in simple terms much less perplexing to be mad.

Answer 6

You get what you put into it. If you work hard and show respect, consideration, caring and compromise, you will be happy. It's not really that hard. The people you talk about being unhappy are too selfish to be in a relationship.

Answer 7

I really don't know, but I can guarantee you that ANY woman over 25 who hasn't been married (or in a very LTR) at least once is either REALLY ugly REALLY psychotic OR BOTH! I promise you this, and you'll never prove me wrong.

Answer 8

I think if you're in love with someone and want to spend the rest of your life with them then you are going to assume that you will be happy....

Why shouldn't people have hope?
Stop being such a downer...

Answer 9

She Santa is a women of the new era...no marriage involved

Sant will get you % signs for Xmas

Answer 10

well, it turned out to be a good gamble for me...I am happy! wouldn't change a thing!