i am 19 years old and just became pregnant but my parents dont support it.. i need some advice!!?

Question

i slept with a really good friend of mine, but friends is all we are. i just found out i got pregnant and told my parents and i also told the guy. my parents flipped out because im not 'with' him and they dont want me to have this kid and him not be there to help me raise this kid.. i told the guy but he dont want me to have it either; he says if i had it tho he would be there for the baby.. i really wanna have it but i dont wanna regret it later.

i live on my own and everything but i was thinking about moving back home to have more money. my dad said that if im having this baby i wont be allowd to move back home.

i dont know what to do at all!! i just need some advice!

Answer 1

It's really between you and your husband. Ask your parents to support the two of you.

Answer 2

The only advice I am going to give you is to not listen to any of the answers. Only ask yourself some basic questions... then you will have your answer:

Assume that the father is not providing any help emotionally or financially, it isn't to say he won't, but you can't count on it. After you come to your decision, put the father back in the picture.

1. Do you feel emotionally ready for the pregnancy?
2. Would you consider aborting the pregnancy?
3. If you bring the baby to full term, would you keep it?
4. If you keep the baby, how will you financially support it?
5. Are you giving up your own dreams by raising a child on your own?
6. What is your 5, 10, 15 year plan for raising the child?
7. Will you be able to have a boyfriend or an adult relationship as a single mother?
8. How will you pay for childcare while you are at work? How much is childcare in your local area?
9. What kind of job will you have in 5,10, 15 years?
10. Do you feel like you can provide the kind of financial and emotional support to a child?

This is a very pivotal point in your life and not a decision to be made hastily. Talk to some people in your life, especially your parents. If anyone knows the kinds of sacrifices a parent makes, they do.

Very good luck to you.

Answer 3

Being pregnant is a scary and emotionally charged time. The hormones in your blood sometimes even keep you from thinking clearly. I think you need to talk to an impartial third party just so you can get an idea of what YOU want. There are basically three options: you can have the baby and raise it; have the baby and give it up for adoption; or have an abortion. I am 100% completely against abortion--it just seems so wrong to kill an innocent fetus because you made a mistake. And I know some wonderful adopted children whose parents were in similar situations as you. And now they are in secure and loving families.

So, back off my soapbox (sorry), it's really up to you. Your parents, your friend, and people you meet on the street will have advice for you about this pregnancy. But ultimately, you are the one that gets to live with the decision for the rest of your life--and no matter what you choose there will be some regrets. Find someone you trust to talk this out with--a church leader, really close friend, counselor, etc. They will help you decide what you want. And there is a TON of help for pregnant women out there--all you have to do is look.

Good luck and God bless.

Answer 4

You need to do what is best for you. Your parents and your friend cannot make up your mind for you. Do not let them bully you into doing what they want you to do. Your father is trying to force your hand. You either do as he says or you are on your own. Sounds like a great dad. My parents did the same thing. I was 22 and unmarried. They tried to force me to have an abortion. I refused. He is now almost 18 years old and I have never regretted it. There were times that it was hard but I would not change it for the world. I got through it with a little persistence. It is your choice to have an abortion but you will have to live with that for the rest of your life. It has psychological effects on some people. Your friend will be there for the baby. It does not matter if you are not together. You are friends and you can make this situation work if you want to.The bottom line is that you are an adult and you do not need your parents approval. Make your decision for you and you alone. Tell them what your decision is and that it is not open for discussion. If you really want to have the baby you will regret it if you do not. Think long and hard with out listening to them. Good luck to you.

Answer 5

I had my first child at 19. Both of our parents said that we couldn't raise a child on our own. We had our daughter and a year later we were married. now were expecting a son soon and were happily married. I know you said you live alone and I think if your parents told you that I wouldn't even want to go back. I really hope your not talking about abortion. That's so wrong in so many ways. I'm 21 now and love my daughter so much I can't imagine life without her. Even If I didn't have her dad in my life I still would have had her and raised her on my own. Children are a gift/blessing. They are people out there who have been trying to have children for years and still can't. I think this child is meant for a reason just like everything is. It will change your life forever but what it brings to your life is amazing. HAVE THE BABY and if you get really bad off try adoption. The least you can do is give this baby a chance at life.

Answer 6

Do what's in your heart is right. Just remember you can do adoption after you have it but you will miss all the joy of the baby growning up there is always help out there an you have to be your own person an not live for what makes your parents happy. I can't tell you how to feel or what to do but just know that when you hit 5 mo along an feel the baby kick for the first time it's like nothing you have ever felt before. Now way this one if you kill the baby can you live with your self an then two if you put it up for adoption can you live with that .

Answer 7

Personally i think that you should have your child. Im not sure of your situation financially or emotionally wise, but i also had my first child at 19. Look at it this way your grown, you dont ask no one for permission to have sex so why ask to give birth to your blessing. Take what may look negative and turn it into something good. Your parents are upset right now, but all that will change after that baby is born because my mom was the same way and now my son is her pride and joy. Im now 23, so i've learned alot so far. No one said it will be easy and remember every child is a blessing, God makes no mistakes. Trust, believe, and pray. Everything will work out in the end.

Answer 8

It's a personal decision. I don't support aboritions, however i do believe that if you truly can't have your baby, there are other options such as adoption. Look into things before you make your final decision. Having no support can really be hard, but you also don't want to regret not having your baby one day either. Take some time to think before you make life changing decisions. Hopefully if you chose to have the baby, your parents will warm up before it gets here and become more open to the decision. Also just wait and see because sometimes after seeing the baby, everything changes. Best of Luck to you.

Answer 9

hi i had a bby when i was 18 my mum was furious but she got over it once she sees the ultrasound pic u get she will fall as much in love with the baby as u will, also just remember baby are human too u know here is a poem for ya
MONTH 1
Hi Mommy!
I am only 8 inches long
but I have all my organs.
I love the sound of your voice.
Every time I hear it
I wave my arms and legs.
The sound of your heart beat
is my favorite lullaby.

MONTH 2
Mommy
today I learned how to suck my thumb.
If you could see me
you could definitely tell that I am a baby.
I'm not big enough to survive outside my home though.
It is so nice and warm in here.
MONTH 3
You know what Mommy
I'm a girl!
I hope that makes you happy.
I always want you to be happy.
I don't like it when you cry.
You sound so sad.
It makes me sad too
and I cry with you even though
you can't hear me.

MONTH 4
Mommy
my hair is starting to grow.
It is very short and fine
but I will have a lot of it.
I spend a lot of my time exercising.
I can turn my head and curl my fingers and toes
and stretch my arms and legs.
I am becoming quite good at it too.

MONTH 5
You went to the doctor today.
Mommy, he lied to you.
He said that I'm not a baby.
I am a baby Mommy, your baby.
I think and feel.
Mommy, what's abortion?

MONTH 6
I can hear that doctor again.
I don't like him.
He seems cold and heartless.
Something is intruding my home.
The doctor called it a needle.
Mommy what is it? It burns!
Please make him stop!
I can't get away from it!
Mommy! HELP me!

MONTH 7
Mommy
I am okay.

I am in Jesus's arms.
He is holding me.
He told me about abortion.
Why didn't you want me Mommy?
Every Abortion Is Just . . .
One more heart that was stopped.
Two more eyes that will never see.
Two more hands that will never touch.
Two more legs that will never run.
One more mouth that will never speak.

Answer 10

my little sister had a baby at 18. The guy she slept with left her before she even knew she was pregnant and she's still living at home. My dad is super-religious somewhat racist (she had a bi-racial baby). At first our parents were furious and my mom told her to get an abortion. My husband and I offered to take the baby (we had a three year old at the time) if she decided to keep it. So no job, no boyfriend and our parents were going to kick her out if she kept the baby...

Long story short, my sister kept the baby and my parents got over their stupidity. I now have a 16 month old niece who is absolutley beautiful! My parents completely love that child and wouldn't trade her for the world. They simply can't imagine what it would be like without her (though my mom was the one who suggested that she not be brought into the world) My sister is on WIC and has a medical card and though the father of her baby never cared enough to be a part of his daughter's life, my sister is dating a good man who wants to marry her and adopt this wonderful little girl.

Bottom line: abortion (though I don't support it) IS an option, but unlike adoption it cannot be taken back or undone. Once a life is snuffed out, it is gone forever!

If you want the baby, there are PLENTY of options to help you financially, emotionally and physically. Adoption is one of them. And don't be afraid of being a mother at 19. I gave birth to my son at 19, ten months after I was married. We just welcomed our daughter in November and will celebrate our fifth anniversary in June. Nothing is impossible, no matter what your age.

Your parents are just in shock right now...it will pass and I assure you...as soon as they see your darling little baby, they will be head over heels in love.

before you make any decisions...please go to your local health department or crisis pregnancy center and talk to a social worker. She can help lay out all of your options and show you that it's not as scary as it seems. and maybe schedule a doctor's appointment before you decide what to do. You can hear your baby's heartbeat anywhere from 8-14 weeks. And you can see your baby clearly on a sonogram not long after.

good luck and god bless!

Answer 11

It doesn't matter that they don't "support it" because it's a done deal. You messed up, oh well. You're just going to have to take care of you and your baby yourself. Don't worry, there's lots of help out there if you look. I must commend you for wanting to have this child that didn't ask to exist. I hope that you stick with this and give your child the opportunity to live and love. If you have the child (and I pray you do) and you can't raise it, there's the option to give it up for adoption. Many people don't realize what a loving decision this is. Take care and don't worry about the "what ifs". Handle the business that you know that you have to handle and don't worry about anyone else. You'd be surprised at how your parents minds are likely to change once they see and hold their grandchild.

Dylhayrya makes an AMAZING point!!! I have never heard of anyone regretting it either!

Dylhayrya: You're brilliant!!!