serious answers only please ?

Question

if you had to choose between your children or your partner/husband / wife who would you choose ,? i am a mother of two , and without a shadow of doubt i would put my kids before any man , if you feel different to this could you explain why ? ,i have had this conversation with many people over the years and its always been half and half i would like to understand why ?

i know its a sensitive subject thanx !!!!

thanx for all of you who answered in a serious way i thumbs up you all btw , obviously some people don't know a serious question when they see one SAD!!

pam your chidren are always your children weather they are 60 and you are 90 they are your blood hun !!!

Answer 1

For me it's my other half, since we have no children. If we did I really don't know what I would do, it's a very tough call and I don't think there are wrong or right answers. I would depend on lots of other factors and variables besides the choice itself, such as illnesses, the situation of the choice (eg Housefire). I guess it would be a matter of gut instinct at the time rather than anything you can anticipate or plan.
I must say that I don't think it's fair that you ask this question and then offer criticism to those answerers you don't agree with, it's not fair to single respondants out like that with such a difficult issue. You asked them their opinion afterall, they don't have to agree with yours.
I refer particularly to the Lady who said her children come first until they are adults. She has a good point, it's not right or wrong, please leave her to express her opinion without further judgement.

Answer 2

well well...this is a good question for most ppl to think of. i see mostly woman have responded and say that their children would always come first. i wonder what the men have to say to this.
i am a female(most ppl think i am a guy)

this is such a loaded question. if you mean that if my hubby harmed my kids in any way, then yes it is my children that i would protect. my children also know this, but on the same hand, i married first, then had kids. so i say that if the above is not a factor then it is my husband and then my children. if i did not meet my husband, i would not have the children that i have. children need to understand that if it wasn't for the two parents, they would not be around to enjoy the life that they have. thus they should not be permitted to pit the parents against each other, know that they can get away with murder from one parent and the other is stricter. hopefully you see what i mean.
when woman tend to their kids more than their husband, this is where the men start to see the grass greener on the other side, feel neglected, and just plain out not worthy to the wife. cuss woman tend to let themselves feel to tired from watching the children and tend to talk about their children more than needed to be. the husband is fine with that for like 15 min then he just doesn't care, because he wants to be pampered too. so to make this short, woman tend to wonder where the spark went and the loving is, when in reality it is themselves that started the cycle.

if dating, your children should be first to an extent!

Answer 3

My 2nd husband couldn't hack the fact that my children came first and I tried to please everyone but it just didn't work. He had a totally different idea on house rules etc and although I really made an effort and so did the kids, eventually he left and at 40 years of age married a 17year old because he wouldn't have to share her with ayone else.
Many years went by and I met my present partner who also had children. Of course, the big difference is/was they are all grown up with families of their own so now, they all only'want' and not 'need'
When you've got smaller children who need you , you MUST put them first but now , as OAPs we can enjoy our life together and the kids have to 'fit in' with our plans - not the other way round.
Oh! hang on a minute, mum's on the phone, she NEEDS ME to go shopping for HER and do some washing and rub some cream in her back -what goes round, comes round
and Himindoors is up his mum's this morning to take her to the doctor's then just pop her to the wool shop then fix her line and change a bulb and take her cat to the vet - so if ,as a mum, you put your kids first - they'll put YOU first when THEY need YOU in later life

Answer 4

The bottom line here is that yo uhave to take care if yourself before you can take care of someone else, child or otherwise. If your s/o was being abusive, mistreating or interfeing with their care, then you have a child issue. If theyre just being brats, then you tell the kids to shut the h#$$ up. The ideal situation is that you would never have to choose between them, but we know that in most cases kids act like freaking hooligans. The key becomes this- is your s/o helping or hurting? Even if they just stay out of the way, there's no need to choose between them unless theyre just outright detremental.

Answer 5

This is a very difficult question because I love both my husband and my children,although I love them in different ways. My love as a wife is far different than my love as a mother, to me it's like apples and oranges.I'm not trying to avoid the question but trying to answer as honestly as I can.I sincerely hope I am never put to that kind of test in reality.Take care.

Answer 6

I think that's the most time anyone has said or typed some form of the word serious in a paragraph. I seriously think you deserve an award.

Answer 7

Bex if it was ex and we were on a burning ship I would save my childen and leave him, if on ship with husband do the same but difference is he would save the girls as well ex would jump and think after he had forgotten something!!!
I lost my daughter this year and the grieve is well the worst ever I would save my children put them first any time and so would my husband.

Answer 8

you realize your children come first that is good. Now dating another person while having kids is another thing, Any person who makes you choose between them and your children is not worth your time or trouble. anyone that see's diffrently on that issue does not have the parenting skills you have or in fact have kids of their own. nothing should stand between you and your kids. and a good partner should be able to express that likewise. No one loves your kids like you do nor will treat your kids like you do,

Answer 9

by far my kids.. but i know what you mean. Ppl are very odd and would actually choose their partner over their kids.. idiots!!
The thing is that many many parents do this every day.... i know this older women (50's) who had two kids and a horrible hubby. The whole time while the kids were growing up, she constantly put her hubby's "needs" above the kids. Well he did drugs, cheated (countless of times), had a kids with another women... and finally after the kids grew up.. she left him. A little too late if you ask me.. but i guess late is better then never.
I just don't understand women like this!

Answer 10

my kids without any doubt whatsoever will alway's come first, even when their in their 40's I'll probably still be putting them first! lol

just read acerj's answer anf WTF??? yeah I see some of her points, but there's no way I'd ever stay in a relationship with anyone if it had a negative effect on my kids, obviously as they get older they have to accept that my lifes my own etc, but that doesn't mean their feelings wouldn't still be most important to me!

At the end of the day even though my kids will always come first, there's a point were I have to come first as well, the funny thing with this is it's a joint first with the kids, they need to know that I'm not just their mum I'm an individual as well, I want them to know me for me as well as know me as their mum, hopefully if I get the balance right as they get older they will respect and understand things I do because they will understand me as an individual, plus of course it's teaching them that even though you have kids it's important not to lose your own identity which is oh so easy to do!