He passed away almost a year ago. I have a new bf now, but I feel so guilty. Not to my bf, but to my late fiance's memory. I keep crying about him at random times. I miss him so much, but i don't wanna live in the past anymore! I do like my bf, but my fiance was my 1st love, my best friend. When he was still alive, loving him made me happy everyday. How can I get over him?
2007-12-10 13:11:25 · 9 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
My first wife died while we were in grad school, after only 14 mos of marriage. I had great friends who helped me thru it. She would have wanted me to live again and love again. I started dating after approx 9 mos but it was probably 2 yrs before the pain stopped and I could smile instead of crying when I thought of her . I did live again and love again. Have been married for 41 yrs to a fantastic woman. But, even after all this time, there are moments of flash backs. You will live and love again too. I promise you that. Good luck
2007-12-10 13:54:10 · answer #1 · answered by old beatnik 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You may never be able to get over it, I couldn't if my husband died. Just take it one day at a time and keep him in your heart. That is where he lives on...
You say that you like your boyfriend, I guess you still feel so guilty and uncomfortable to say the word love. Do you feel that you are pushing yourself into "getting over it" too quickly? Remember that healing takes time and it's only been a year. I'm not saying break it off with your new guy, but I am saying that you need to take it slow.
"When he was still alive, loving him made me happy everyday." You are either still in mourning and not ready to date just yet, or you feel that your new guy can never make you happy like you once were. That isn't good for who you are now with as well as yourself. Don't push it, these things take time.
2007-12-10 21:37:52 · answer #2 · answered by Joyous Mommy ♥'s her ßoys 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You certainly moved on to a new bf in less than a year - how about giving yourself a chance to grieve?? Really grieve...then move beyond it. Your fiance would want you to be happy and hold his memory in your heart.
2007-12-10 21:47:04 · answer #3 · answered by that judi 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sounds like you need to take time out for yourself. Maybe you got in a relationship too fast and have not given yourself enough time to grieve.....timing for that is different from person to person and its ok to feel this way after a loss such as yours. Spend a little time with you. I wish you the best.
2007-12-10 21:27:41 · answer #4 · answered by shebae 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You will never get over him, but you will love again. Take comfort in the memories that only you have. Remember his smile, his laugh, his smell. Hold tight to your memories and live. One day the tears will stop and you will have this tiny smile and warm feeling and only you will know why.
I wish you well.
2007-12-10 21:31:38 · answer #5 · answered by shoes_717 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It's going to take time. I believe that it's true, that time heals all wounds, and this is something that will just take time. Honestly I think you may have gotten into another relationship too quickly.
Also I think if your bf, helps comfort you, and is there for you to talk with, I think it will help.
2007-12-10 21:15:51 · answer #6 · answered by Bryan M 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Time will do it, but get it done before entering into another relationship. No one likes being a proxy lover.
2007-12-10 21:17:26 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You have to move on. Live for his memory and know that he would want you to move on and be happy.
2007-12-10 21:15:27 · answer #8 · answered by airbornemp108 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Healing takes time. You will get better.
2007-12-10 21:16:57 · answer #9 · answered by jeff b 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋