what am i going through?

Question

Why do i have guiltiness for one thing most of the time?
Is believing that you'll get punished ocd?
i feel that for the unwanted thought, i'll get punished by being unable to do thing properly in every aspect of life, such as my thought, movement, and everything will be of curse because of what i did
i feel this way anytime i convince myself of being guilty
i feel that i need to ask for forgiveness for what i said or else i'll get punished
i also kind of curse on myself that i'll be doing weird things like suddenly i'll think that i'll be thinking of my movement and im going to look weird, i know that but people are not likely to notice
there's nothing like this system of punishment, right?
the only difference and ultimate decision is between heaven and hell?
i having a hard time right now, kind of depressed about the blasphemy thing that i did a few years ago, can't let it go because it's such a big deal, but i can't remember if i said the blasphemy or not, i got frustrated saying it in my mind, so i let it out
i know it's time to move on, but..
1 hour ago - 3 days left to answer.
Additional Details
1 hour ago

answer this on clearly please, do you think whatever/anything you do, you have the right and the chance to move on and enjoy yourself?
23 minutes ago - 3 days left to answer.
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21 minutes ago

the only thing i can do now is ask for forgiveness, but i don't want to, i feel like im getting dragged everywhere when i list all the reasons why i shouldn't be guilty and about other things
should i just not do it because it's my ocd?
everytime when i feel depressed or feel that i need to do something, should i ignore it and move on to fix this?
i want to fix it by myself but im ok for a few days, but it comes back, and i have to fight with it again or am i doing wrong?
20 minutes ago

hope you answer my questions instead of telling me to go because i've heard that over 100 times from just this section
13 minutes ago

if it's something that needs to be fixed, it everything that i do would be on my mind, but constantly have at mostly or more than one thing on my mind to think about all the time unless i convince myself that im free of it because of this reason
i always have to have a reason to have freedom, but there's too many category and factors to think about
14 hours ago - 3 days left to answer.
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14 hours ago

i just think that the thing i did is a really big deal and it's going to make my life stationary
it's extremely bad
is this the most extreme thing to feel guilty about?
if i said f***ing jesus out loud, i don't even remember if i said his name or if i said it in my mind after the f word
what am i going through, extreme lack of self confidence?
14 hours ago

im not getting frustrated, im just worried and anxious and depressed
3 hours ago - 3 days left to answer.
Additional Details
3 hours ago

im really motivated and im a perfectionist maybe
i want to become a surgeon, so im really into studying and i love to be the best in everything, especially studies and sports
im really confident at times, but when i think about this or when it doesn't pass smoothly throught my mind, i fail to achieve my full potential

Answer 1

It sounds to me like you are suffering with anxiety depression - its something I have suffered with myself! The only real way to deal with is to consult your GP.- He will be able to inform you about the many different ways there are available to deal with this and the range from medication (anti depresents) to hypnotherapy!
Its important you deal with this as soon as you can, other wise it could take a real grip on your life and start controlling your every day actions!
I wish you all the best with this! Good luck!

Answer 2

It seems like you have a guilty conscience about something and it's eating away at you. What you need to do is confess whatever sin you committed and move on. Keep yourself busy so these thoughts don't constantly bombard your mind.

You dwell too much on the past and seem paranoid about how others view you. I'll let you in on a little secret: unless you are doing something freakishly weird like leading an imaginary pet on a leash when you're like 16, then people are not going to notice your imperfections. They're not going to care about the zit that popped up overnight or that your socks don't match. We all lead busy lives and don't notice little things like that.

Face the fact that you aren't perfect and you'll never be perfect...and that's okay. Perfection is boring. You'll make mistakes or act like a jerk from time to time just like everyone else. All you can do is learn from your mistakes and apologize to anyone that you've hurt. People are still going to like you even if you mess up once and while, so making mistakes really isn't the end of the world. Try your best in everything you do, but if you fall down along the way, just pick yourself up and keep trying.

Answer 3

Boy, you poor thing! Wow that's a lot of guilt you are carrying for something not so serious. Yes it is bad if you believe it is so bad but in real life it is not so bad at all, really! You can and should ask your God for forgiveness and being the Supreme being he knows not everyone of his children can be without sin! That is why he gave his son, so you can be forgiven. As long as you didn't knowingly and physically set out to kill or hurt anyone you are ok. But you need to know that what you have done is forgivable. Also you can repent by doing good things to show you are worth forgiving. Try to forgive yourself as well. I know being a perfectionist makes it hard when you mess up, but you have to allow yourself a few mess-ups because you are not God and only God is perfect truly. I hope you can get through this and live your life happily, you deserve to enjoy life while it is here as does every one of us. Okay? If you need someone to talk to you can email me and I will try to help you work through this, alright? Take care. Aloha from Hawaii,
jus me *g ; . )

Answer 4

I know that I can't really help you. I'm not religious at all, and doing such a thing wouldn't bother me like it bothers you.

Really I don't think that you're asking the right people, a question like that can't be answered by random people on a website.
Ask your friends, ask your family. They're the ones who will give you the advice that you're looking for.

What I personally would say is try not to dwell on it.
Nothing is worth obsessing over so much that you stop living your life the way that you're supposed to.

I hope that you find an answer that helps, and remember try not to place too much faith in answers that are given on this site. They can't make decisions for you, and in the end you are going to have to work this out for yourself.

Answer 5

Obsessive Compulsion. In this case, the mode is religious. You have an aggravating need to conform to religious dogma. While many may be strict adherents to religion, you seem psychologically troubled by the conformity. You dont think you can be good enough.
But, try to think of what it is you are attempting to accomplish. You cannot be Jesus Christ but you have to be a human being. I think you should talk to a doctor about obsessive compulsive disorder. Also try to understand that OCD does not exist typically. In other words, you can have obsession over making sure all the dust is off your cd collection each day. If its bothersome, it contributes to anxiety and needs professional help. Good luck with being a surgeon. I'll bet you'll make a fine one.

Answer 6

hi there, i read all of what u typed & here is what i think u should do. first of all u have done nothing wrong accept that u take life toooo seriously & it sounds like u worry all of the time & u never get to go out & have fun with people your own age. so u need to keep your mind busy by doing things that make u happy. so my advise to you is just be yourself whatever that means to you & keep happy thoughts in your head as much as u can so that way u don't have any spare time to think anything else. there is a book u can buy called "THE KEY" by joe vitale. it's a great book to read & it helps u think positve thoughts & also it tells you how to do this. if i was u i would go to a book store & buy this book cuz it will help u out. honestly it will help u out. stop thinking like u do & start to think like this for instance, i'm happy with what i have but i just want more. or this, i'm sorry, i'm grateful & i love u. go buy the book cuz it also has ways to make things in your life change for the better & u need that now. good luck, bb, nobrethequeen

Answer 7

You are being much too hard on yourself. The Bible tells us that we are forgiven using Jesus' name or God's name in vain when we confess our sin and ask for forgiveness. God will forgive. So confess to God in Jesus' name and ask for forgiveness. Then you must ACCEPT that you are forgiven. If it keeps coming back just say, "NO, I do not receive that thought because God through Jesus' name has forgiven me".

The Bible also tells us there is one name we cannot be forgiven for. I'm not going to tell you that name because you might slip and use it in vain.

By the way, start reading Psalm 91 each morning before you start your day. It will make all the difference in the world in your life and that of your family and friends.

Answer 8

Ummm... I am not sure that I understood everything you said but maybe this will help. I am taking it that you are christian so in that aspect, all sins are equal. So from murder to using the lords name in vain it is supposedly the same in God's eyes. But in the same breath, God also forgives all sins as long as you repent and ask for forgiveness. So pray and ask for forgiveness and then let it stop haunting you. It sounds like you are an intelligent person but you are creating your own hell inside your head. You cannot beat yourself up for committing a sin. We are human, that's what we are good at!

Answer 9

In my religion and I truly believe this is essential. FORGIVENESS.

You must teach your self forgiveness. I do believe one of the important lessons Jesus brought to Earth was forgiveness.

Identify the offense. Pray to GOD. I have sinned through my own fault in my thoughts and in my words, in what I have done and what I have failed to do and ask you Jesus and all my brothers and sisters to pray for me to forgive me.

This is another perspective. You allow yourself to wallow in depression. You can force yourself to redirect this time and energy to prayer or knowledge or community service or 100 other better uses of time.

Answer 10

I think you just have a guilty conscious. You will always be forgiven, you just have to ask for it. I dont think you have ocd, just a good heart, you care.. thats a good thing. I think you just worry. Sit down count to 10 and breathe. Think about all the good things you do in life, smile and know that your a good person. :) youll be ok, just relax. deep breaths. :) xxoo good luck.