I'll try to be breif as possible. me & my ex have a 4 yr old together. we are still doing paper work & in the process of him getting visitation. so there isnt anything set in stone yet. but i have been voluntarily letting my ex keep our daughter every other weekend so she can get used to being with him. we've each have been driving & meeting half way to do the swap (and with our work schedules, 7:30PM seems to work out best). we agreed to both being present when we drop off or pick up our daughter. lately HIS MOM has been wanting to do the pick ups instead of my ex. she thinks our time frame is just too late in the evening but that's the only convenient time for me. and from my understanding when my child stays with her father, he doesnt make her go to bed until midnight or later... should i tell his mom to butt out or let her get our child, or not back out on my word & have my ex come and get our daughter?? 7:30PM or not at all???
2007-12-10 11:07:32 · 13 answers · asked by loved<3 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
If she wanted to pick up the little one to spend time with her every now and again that's fine..it is her grandmother. But as far as her telling you when and where she should be picked up and all that...it's between you and your ex not her. Stick to your word. Let him get her when he can or meet up somewhere at a certain time it's your business and it's between you and your ex.
2007-12-10 11:17:43 · answer #1 · answered by Loli 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If 7:30 is the convenient time then that's what it should stay. This is between you and your ex and as long it is not hurting your daughter continue the routine. Routine is important for a child going through changes anyway. To deviate from this set up may cause her stress and that would be bad for her too. Tell mom you have this under control and not to worry about it.
2007-12-10 11:15:03 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Well in this situation I would let her pick up your child, but stipulate that 730 pm works out for your schedule NOT hers! As far as him letting the child stay up until midnight, I would have it stipulated in the court papers that bedtime has to be kept because children need a routine. I've got 3 kids. One with autism and twin girls. They all go to sleep at the same time which is 8 pm regardless of what is on the tv. Good Luck!
2007-12-10 11:26:02 · answer #3 · answered by Leslie Y 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
To me visitation involves the parents. So what benefit is there in the child being picked up earlier when the FATHER won't be there anyway, because he's still at work? Isn't it him that she is going to visit, so what's the point of her arriving earlier than HE can see her? I would point this out to the Mum-in-law, when she next suggests it.
Congratulations, by the way, for insuring that your daughter does stay in touch with her Dad. Good on both of you.
2007-12-10 11:16:48 · answer #4 · answered by Barb Outhere 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Think of her as your daughter's grandma, not your ex's mum. In the end, she probably just want's to hang out with her little grandaughter, and is using the above as an excuse...
Let her in, grandparents are the best babysitters that nature can offer.
You clearly need to set some groundrules though, i.e. bed time, etc.
You have to remember that while 7.30pm is convinient for you, he only gets to see his little girl for 2 out of every 14 days, there is no way I could cop with that. So while it is convinient for you, remember that he is still a dad, and as long as you want your daughter to have her dad in her life, you may need to bend a little on what is convinient for you and what is ultimately better for the family, broken or not!
2007-12-10 11:25:38 · answer #5 · answered by Judo Chop 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Do not talk to your Ex-Mother-Law about this. All you need to do is tell your ex that you will not drop your daughter to anyone but him. There is no reason for your Ex MIL to get involved. Otherwise you will just end up fighting with her. After all.....I am sure she blames you for a lot already. Don't give her any control.
2007-12-10 11:18:22 · answer #6 · answered by Dave G 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
What happens with your child should be between you and your ex, and what is best for the child. If other people don't like it....tough. It is your child and you have to keep both her and your best interests. I would (politely) tell your ex's mom that you two have made an arrangement and are going to stick to it.
2007-12-10 11:13:07 · answer #7 · answered by missyhardt 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Don't back out on your word.
This is not your ex's mothers child, it is yours and his child therefor you're entitled to having her come and go at the times you would like.
His mother needs to butt out because it is simply not her problem. Her son needs to take his responsibility like a man and mother needs to realize her son has his own responsibilities that she is not in charge of.
2007-12-10 11:11:53 · answer #8 · answered by ♪Msz. Nena♫ 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
lazy sumbitch, he needs to pick her up and anyone else doing the picking up you can get for kidnapping...don't let her do nothing for her lazy assed boy...for thats what im reading into this....next thing ya know he will not want to pay child support...i say raost him over a pitt
2007-12-10 11:16:38 · answer #9 · answered by bubba gumps light 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Tell her she can come and get her but that does not change the time. See if that changes her tune.
2007-12-10 11:12:06 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋