Is it ok to let my newborn "cry it out"? I can't stop her crying to begin with but I do everything I can to try. When nothing works and I get frustrated is it ok to let her cry it out? Someone told me she was too young for that and it would cause trust issues, is this true? Anyone have experience?
2007-12-10 09:48:54 · 14 answers · asked by kristenrcrowder 2 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Newborn & Baby
No- it's not. If you must, put her down for 5 minutes but go right back. Better yet, get a sling or another way to wear her and wear her, dance with her, etc.
Our son had colic and at the height of it, he was crying for 18 hours a day. It was awful- for him and for me. I refused to allow him to cry it out alone. He needed someone close to him.
Put on some music and dance with him.
http://www.askdrsears.com/html/5/T051300.asp
Just because your baby cannot stop crying does not mean it is ok for you to allow them to cry it out alone. Further, it does NOT mean she is not aware that you are there and holding her.
Get someone in there to help you. I had my aunt.
We weaned out son after 8 weeks because I was given the misinformation that it was "my milk" that was causing his issues. I changed my diet, I changed everything. Nothing worked. I gave him soy formula and he went from 5-6 hours a night with colic to 18 hours a day. He did not a second of it alone crying it out.
Hold your baby. You will be glad you did later.
Our son was diagnosed with autism at 2 years and 3 months of age. Can you image what would have happened if we had allowed him to cry it out alone? I shudder at the thought! There is no evidence that colic and autism is linked- he just happened to have colic and later was diagnosed with autism. Hold your baby. Wear your baby. Bundle your baby and take them outside. Dance with your baby. Get someone in there to help you care for your baby so you get a break every single day. You'll be glad you did later. I am.
2007-12-10 10:02:11 · answer #1 · answered by NY_Attitude 6 · 8⤊ 2⤋
No, it's not okay.
'Cry it out' techniques should never be used, in my opinion, but if you must, then they still shouldn't be used until the child is old enough to understand you when you tell them that you're leaving the room but will be back after a predetermined time - that is, they need to be able to understand both the words & the concept behind them. Newborns cannot. (Neither can 6 month olds or 1 year olds). Besides, when a colicky infant is crying, they're expressing discomfort, or pain, or a need for attention - even advocates of controlled crying acknowledge that you shouldn't leave children to cry in these circumstances.
If you're about to snap, then it's fine to leave her crying in a safe place while you gather yourself, but that is not the same as 'cry it out', nor should it be used frequently or for extended periods of time.
Your best bet is to start carrying her in a sling or other carrier. And definitely take up any offers of help from friends or family.
2007-12-10 10:18:43 · answer #2 · answered by Samantha W 2 · 6⤊ 1⤋
Oh, please don't. If that was you, would you want to sob alone, fearful and feeling unloved, or while somebody was at least trying to soothe you?
Try bringing her into the shower or bath with you -- that worked great here, and I've wished we just spent the cry-ish nights in the water instead of going for drives. The drives worked too, though.
If you're really reaching the end of your tether, get Grandma or Grandpa to come over. No grandparents nearby? Ask anybody. You must have a neighbour who's *a* Grandma who can make with the cuddles while you soak in a tub with a glass of whisky...?
2007-12-10 09:59:48 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 8⤊ 1⤋
If you need a break, it doesn't hurt to put the baby in her crib and take a few minutes for your own mental health. That's not the same as "crying it out" though, which you do not ever want to do with a newborn for a variety of reasons.
2007-12-10 09:53:43 · answer #4 · answered by Melissa 7 · 8⤊ 0⤋
"cry it out" is used more for when you are trying to get a 4 month old or older to sleep thru the night or go to sleep without being rocked. you don't really let a colicky baby cry it out. usually it's due to some sort of stomach issue and they are in pain. try milicone drops and holding her face down across your arm, her head in the crease of your elbow, so your hand is putting slight pressure on her tummy and sway back and forth, that seemed to work for my niece, who on some nights would cry from 5p to 12a.
2007-12-10 09:56:53 · answer #5 · answered by MK 3 · 2⤊ 1⤋
Not a newborn that is colicky...there is a health issue there....cry-ing it out is for a healthy child that is just acting up. You need to find something that will help with her colick
2007-12-10 10:26:36 · answer #6 · answered by mommy_2_liam 7 · 1⤊ 1⤋
A baby with colic may cry in bouts or may cry almost all of the time. When your baby cries, he or she may swallow air. This may give your baby gas and make your baby's tummy look swollen and feel tight, which may make him or her even more uncomfortable. Babies with colic seem to need more attention and are more sensitive to the things around them than other babies.
Tips on soothing your baby
Place a warm water bottle on your baby's stomach (make sure it's not too hot).
Rock your baby in a rocking chair or cradle.
Put your baby in a wind-up swing (make sure your baby can support his or her head).
Give your baby a warm bath.
Give your baby a pacifier.
Gently rub your baby's stomach.
Wrap your baby in a soft blanket.
Put your baby in a stroller and go for a walk.
Go for a drive with your baby in the car seat.
What about how I hold my baby?
Sometimes babies with colic will respond to different ways of being held or rocked.
Hold your baby across your lap and massage his or her back.
Hold your baby on top of a running dishwasher, washing machine or dryer (don't leave your baby alone).
Hold your baby upright. This will help if your baby has gas.
Hold your baby while walking.
I hope I have helped.
2007-12-10 10:10:22 · answer #7 · answered by Randi M 1 · 2⤊ 2⤋
No if it's colic, the baby is in pain. Try everything you can. My daughter had it bad and I wish her pediatrician would have been more helpful. There are things they can do because my girlfriends baby's doc gave her a prescription. Maybe they worry we'll overdose them or something. I was a new mother and my girlfriend already had 2 other children. Ask your doc anyway.
2007-12-10 09:57:17 · answer #8 · answered by Nats 4 · 6⤊ 0⤋
If you are feeling overly frustrated, definitely put her down and let her cry for a bit. Crying never killed anyone. And its better for you to leave the room and take some deep breaths. I wouldn't let her cry unattended for hours on end, but for a bit here and there to keep your sanity is totally fine.
Good luck!!
2007-12-10 09:55:11 · answer #9 · answered by Mom 6 · 3⤊ 2⤋
The first year of life is critical for building a sense of trust and security. Its crucial to meet your child's needs quickly, efficiently and to the best of your ability.
Do not take any advice that tells you to let a child under the age of 1 to "cry it out". It does affect them and can hinder the development of trust and security.
Colic is very difficult to deal with and is emotionally exhausting. Just keep trying your best with your various comforting techniques. It will pass soon. Also, if you haven't tried already, try cutting dairy completely out of your diet if your breastfeeding....that might help. good luck
2007-12-10 10:03:55 · answer #10 · answered by saraJ 4 · 8⤊ 3⤋