How long should I wait until i get married?

Question

Me and my girlfriend met in high school. We have been going out for almost 2 years. I have been out of high school for 2 years. I love her so much and she is very beautiful and I would trade her for any amount of money or fashion model in the world. I truly love her more than words can describe. I am almost 20 and she is almost 19. She is in college right now and Im trying to figure out what to do with my life. I really would do anything for her I would even die for her. I know we are young but the love is real. So the question is when should we get married? I mean getting married is a big step. So how long should I wait until I propose? now, next year, 4 years, when?

Answer 1

I assume you mean you wouldn't trade her for a fashion model.... lol.
anyway, I would wait until you are at least 25. You change a lot when growing from 17 to 25

Answer 2

It is a statistical fact that the longer you wait to get married the greater the chance of success. In fact, if you can hold out until the both of you are somewhere between 25-30 years old, you have a huge advantage than if you get married now.

In my opinion, the both of you are too young to be in a serious relationship. The two people involved should both follow their dreams first and after achieving them, then get married. You are love struck right now, but mark my words because some time they will make total sense to you if you rush into this.

Additionally, if you really think you are absolutely sure and ready, then read through this essay and consider what you might not yet know about: http://www.dont-marry.com/ . It has been translated into several languages for a reason. Please wait until you've accomplished all your dreams and if you still absolutely must get married, then you should insist on a prenup. Godspeed, my friend!

Answer 3

It isn't so much about time but about your life situation and maturity. Are both of you intellectually, mentally, emotionally mature enough to make a life time commitment of this magnitude. Take into consideration that from your teen through your mid 20's you are changing, growing and maturing more rapidly than any other time in your life. I can say without a doubt that the people you and your girl friend are right now will not be the same people in a year, two years or three years.
Secondly, are you financially independent enough to get married. You aren't living with your parents, won't have to rely on others for money, room, board or help?
Thirdly, what about school. Many people feel that if a kid gets married before they complete their education, it significantly decreases the chances of them finishing.
I suggest, since you are both so young, that you get "promised," to one another. Promised means that you are faithful and that you have an intent of asking her to marry you, when the time is right. Once the time is right, then you can propose and become engaged. An engagement has no time limit and neither does a promise.
Good Luck!

Answer 4

Well this is a tough situation. I was 19 when I got married (Freshman in college) and my husband was 21. He is also in the Navy and has the means to support our marriage financially. I do not promote young marriage, but I also will not tell you what to do. My advice would be to finish school and get a stable job and home before you actually get married. I am still not finished with school (I'm 21 now, he is 23) and we are expecting our first child. It has been one hell of a ride for these 3 year. It has been very difficult at such a young age.

You can wait however long you want to be engaged.... there is no problem with a long engagement (2 or more years). I would suggest you finish school first before the wedding :-)

Answer 5

There is a lot of good advice here, most it saying to wait. If I were you I would do just that. Like Jo said above, you can give her a promise ring to show your commitment if you like. You may even broach the subject, but do so romantically.

It would be best if you waited to get married until you were both somewhat settled and out of school. School can create tensions that would only be complicated by marriage. At your age you need to first learn who you are, before you can give yourself fully to someone else. Examine your feelings as well. Do you think of her first before yourself? That's love.

Anyway, since you are thinking about spending your lives together, what's the rush? You have time. Make sure of your commitment here. Marriage should never be entered into with the idea that you can just get divorced if it doesn't work out.

Answer 6

If you are ready and you think she may be ready then go for it. One of my good friends got married about a year ago she had been with her boyfriend for 4 years but they too were high school sweethearts. You may want to wait tell you both get a little ways through college but I say if you feel you are ready than WHAT ARE YOU WAITING FOR. Time to past? Why? If you are in love and truly feel she could be the one than don't let anything hold you back. Me and my boyfriend are going on 3 years and plan to get married but we want to get moved back home and get settled before we do anything. The best thing I would say is sit her down and talk about it and see what she says and go from there. Good luck to you. You have my best wishes! Hope I could help.

Answer 7

Are you ready for the responsibility of taking care of her and yourself for the rest of your lives? Are you sure that in good times and bad (they will come, too!) that you will NEVER leave nor hurt her?

As you ponder these questions and find that you really would do anything for her, maybe you should make a six month plan and do it then or in a year from now. I can tell you really love her. Marriage is FOREVER and even when it is meant to be, this crazy world sometimes makes you consider the "not forever" possibilities.

Sounds like you both have a beautiful love. Protect it. Peace.

Answer 8

Thats something that no one can answer for you. Just as a heads up. I was completely in love with a man right out of high school like yourself. I could have said everything you said about your girl.......about my man. I was with him for 4 years and hinted everyday that I wanted to be married to him. Turns out, 6 years later........I'm married to someone else. I thought for sure that he was the one, but now looking back, I'm so glad I didn't make that mistake.

So don't make a mistake..........there's no rush. My suggestion is to figure out first, what you want to do with your life. If you wait to do that after you get married, that could cause some serious conflicts.

Answer 9

My boyfriend & i were together for 10 years before we got married. That was just the right time for us.

Throughout the years watching friends and family....everyone is different. Some get married w/in months others wait a couple of years or more.

If you can see yourself spending the rest of your life w/ her and only her then anytime would be the right time to propose.

Answer 10

my husband and i married early, and right now i think we're looking at a divorce. u need to wait until ur absolutely sure it's the right thing. marriage isnt easy. it takes a lot of hard work and there is alot of give and take involved. u also need to be sure she is ready. make sure her feelings are as strong as yours. and the great thing is, if u do propose, there is no need to rush the wedding. i also suggest, if ur not right now, living together before u decide to get married. u learn alot about a person that way and it gets u prepared for what its gonna be like in the future. hope i helped...

Answer 11

whenever you feel the time is right. if its next year or 4 years from now whenever i would ask when you feel the closest me and my bf have been going out for almost 6 years we live together and have a child. i think it will just take time =] and i knw that you will make the right choice and make sure you think of her first when do u think she'll be ready? im 25 and person ally i would wait a little longer unless you feel right now that you have something strong