my husband has always been a VERY popular and sought after man. And i cant explain how i got him or why me. We are still young 24 and 26. But his past pretty much kills me. We cant speak about exs without getting very jealous. When i think about his past i feel it shoulda been me or i feel like he cheated on me (though we werent together at that time). But for some reason now it has consumed me, i constantly think about it. In a way i feel like i got "leftovers". i know that sounds mean but it is the best way to explain it. It has gotten to the point where im starting not to like him because of it. I really do love him please help me.
2007-12-10 08:51:08 · 14 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Sunflower, yeah there are a few things that have made me feel inferior.
2007-12-10 09:00:36 · update #1
Hiya. Oh, we all get silly jealous and it gets bad sometimes when we are feeling a little low about ourselves! However, the one sure way to push this man to dislike you, is to keep harping on about it or indeed becoming sullen and not speaking etc. You have to do the mantra 'he married me, he loves me, all exes are skanks'. I think you are trying to talk yourself out of this relationship a bit because its uncomfortable for you to acknowledge you are worthy. Once you accept that you are attractive and sexy and wonderful, then you will understand why he chose you. You didn't get 'leftovers' - maybe if he was 40 and then decided to marry you - what you got was a man in his prime who was that chuffed to have met you, he did the total commitment thing. Getting married means growing up, putting things into perspective and leaving some things behind. Concentrate on boosting your own self-esteem and value your husband as an attractive, sexy man. Don't cheat yourself out of something special.
2007-12-10 09:03:30 · answer #1 · answered by AUNTY EM 6 · 2⤊ 1⤋
My husband and I are the same way! We deal with it by not talking about our pasts. The past is in the past and that's where it should stay, in our opinion. If something of that nature does come up in a conversation, we just say something like, "Ok, enough of that conversation. How was your day?" or something along those lines.
2016-05-22 22:01:22 · answer #2 · answered by ? 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i think its normal to feel somewhat jealous, but you have him, the X doesn't. So, if anyone should feel jealous, it might be her. You haven't gotten leftovers, you just said a sentence before that you guys were not together at the time....so, if that were the case, all 2nd marriages and more are leftovers. Has a certain issue or event brought all this on?
2007-12-10 08:58:12 · answer #3 · answered by sunflowergal 4 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Jealousy says more about you that it does him. You need to get to a place where you are confident in yourself. That's not something he can do for you, unless he is a master manipulator and intentionally does things to keep you off balance and make you feel insecure. (If that is the case GET OUT NOW!) Everybody has a past. Maybe instead of dwelling on yours you should be focusing and working on a FUTURE together. Who cares what happened before you met. You chose him and he chose you. You now are in for the hard part of marriage...what comes after "happily every after". :)
2007-12-10 09:07:26 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋
The past is the past. He never cheated on you and he is with you now because he loves you and he chose so let it go. It sounds like your self esteem needs to be upped a few notches because the problems sounds like it is coming form you, not him. He hasn't done anything wrong.
2015-09-09 05:37:25 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
This great, popular guy chose you...over everyone else, to be be his wife. You should feel great! Don't let the past get to you...if you continue to think in the past, you are going to miss out on some great things.
2007-12-10 08:55:59 · answer #6 · answered by beaners1229 5 · 2⤊ 1⤋
you are going to let the past... ruin your future. leave the past back there.. or you will be sorry. they are ex's.. you are his wife...DO YOU WANT TO STAY MARRIED? then stop with the obsessing. leftovers? honey he was just training for the the big event. YOU.
2007-12-10 09:20:54 · answer #7 · answered by foosieboy1953 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Real contradiction there. I really do love him but I'm starting not to like him. What's that all about? Deary his past is his past. It's not your business. You've got to let that go or it will destroy what you have or would like to have. Deal with now and look to the future.
2007-12-10 09:02:20 · answer #8 · answered by Poppy 7 · 1⤊ 1⤋
i think its normal to get jelous. I know i still do.You guys are married so look at it this way. He choose you to spend the rest of his life with not those other girls so you got the best deal of them all! If he loves you there is no reason for you to be mad at him. we all have ex's so ease up a little on him.
2007-12-10 08:55:52 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 1⤋
I think it is normal, but letting it consume you is not condusive to a happy future. My wife was very popular, not a lot of sex but lots of bfs, but I choose to consider myself lucky to have her and focus on the future. He chose you, don't make him regret it.
2007-12-10 09:04:36 · answer #10 · answered by lamuffluver4 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋