I have been married 2.5 years and together with this man for 5 years. This is a terrible relationship. He is constantly calling me names, putting me down, telling me I'm stupid. We recently had a baby 7 weeks ago, and he has no interest in the baby. In fact, it scares me to leave him alone with the baby, thats why I never do it. His newest thing is telling me that I don't take care of the baby. I know I should leave, I know I should get out--my whole family is backing me...Im in NC and they are in FL, so all I have to do is get in my car and drive to FL, and as soon as Im there I know i'll be ok, SO why am I still here?
2007-12-10 08:44:10 · 23 answers · asked by lesliebedford623 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
CONTACT AN ATTORNEY FIRST
If you leave without court protection he can ask the court to make you return or to give him the child. I would make sure you file for divorce first and ask for permission to leave. When its granted, go, and come back for any hearings necessary.
Make a log of the verbal abuse, (time, date and place).
2007-12-10 08:53:13 · answer #1 · answered by professorc 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Just like all the other girls...You just keep making excuses not too. You are prob thinking..."he will change" Love is blinding, and yes you just had a baby w/ him. And you want to stay, just like every girls dream in the world is for that "perfect family" Leave, hes not gonna change, actually he may even get worse...to physical abuse to you or the child. Everyday when he calls you names, you are gonna wish that you would leave and regret not to. Think of the life that you will have with out him, you will be happier and the child will be in a better environment. Good luck and don't look back!
2007-12-10 16:56:00 · answer #2 · answered by .dreamin.w/.him. 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Could be anything, you have hope (hope for a loser is bad, by the way), you want to keep your family together (a child being raised by an abuser is bad also), he has put you down so much, you might start to believe some of the bad things he says and it has made you insecure (you obviously have supportive family, listen to them). It's better to have a failed marriage and you move on with your life and find someone better that makes you and your child happy, than to stay in a bad marriage for years.
2007-12-10 16:58:56 · answer #3 · answered by Lovebug123 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
maybe you're scared..and its perfectly understandable. and u did enter in a committed relationship with him, probably thinking that this is the beginning of a wonderful life together. of Course u are sad and hesitant!
but u also need to think about ur baby's health. that is going to come in just as important as your own. even if u Wanted to stay w/ this guy, it's not doing ur baby any good.. verses a wonderful family in florida that is supportive and willing to help.. u konw?
u gota do what is best for ur baby too now.
good luck, hopefully this guy is not too scary and wont follow u and threaten teh family...but at least they are aware of the situation! i say file for a divorce when u get to florida! and try not to have any contact w/ him anymroe if u are afraid of him, deal w/ it thru lawyers....
2007-12-10 16:50:26 · answer #4 · answered by tarmee2006 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Not sure, only you know that. But I think a separation, in your case, coould be beneficial. Dettach your self from that situation. Your heart is probbably telling otherwise, but theres a baby to think about. It will be unfair for the baby to be in the middle of this.You need to take iniciative and do what you know is right. He is your husband, I'm not advising for a divorce, just for a wake up call that will teach him to value you as a person and a beautiful human being,,,,,do the right thing.
2007-12-10 16:51:18 · answer #5 · answered by KingDavid 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You've answered your own question! Get the hell outta there! Grab your beautiful child and get away from this 'pig' of a man.
Don't even think about 'missing him, he will just keep on doing what he's been doing to whoever he is with.
Your family will always be there for you and you as a new parent need a little bit of time out as well, so accept there offer and move your *** (and your child's) down to Florida!
PS - get a protection order against this 'pig' as well to keep him away from you and your family.
2007-12-10 16:55:03 · answer #6 · answered by Badass 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
well i was abused and been in 4 bad relationship let me be the first to tell you..leave fast find a real man and be careful it can be bad if that baby got hurt it will be your fault for staying so leave i am raising 4 kids on my own well i am going to be alone again as soon as i kick his drunk *** out, so don't waste your time find a real man and be happy...good luck
2007-12-10 17:31:37 · answer #7 · answered by daisy 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
The same reason I stay with mine...you think he will change. He won't. You need to leave him. NO ONE deserves to be treated like that. You CAN leave him and you CAN take care of your baby. If you don't leave now, your baby is going to grow up and think it is ok to treat people the way he treats you. Is that what you want? Get out.
2007-12-10 16:49:23 · answer #8 · answered by ~nicole~ 6 · 3⤊ 0⤋
Please leave!!! He's got you thinking that you're not worthy or "worth it". Don't let your baby grow up thinking that it's okay to be treated that way or to treat people that way. It causes alot of hurt and pain. You need to break the chain. You're very lucky to have a family who will help you. Now go, and take them up on the offer. You'll have the help you need to get yourself back together and regain your self confidence. Good luck!
2007-12-10 17:00:06 · answer #9 · answered by cathead 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Get a journal and write down what he says. Not in front of him, but as soon afterwards as you can.
Part of verbal abuse is making you doubt yourself, and your judgement. He'll say "Oh, no I didn't say that, you're taking it out of context..." and so on. If you write it down, you can see the words and context are real.
Also, such records have legal standing in court if (when) it comes to a divorce.
2007-12-10 16:51:55 · answer #10 · answered by stenobrachius 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋