My current gf who's 29 said to me that she's been with 16 partners before me. She said some of them were one-nighters in college but the vast majority were failed relationships. I am at half that and it really bothers me. Past gfs have had 2 or 3 more than me and I never gave it a 2nd thought. But with this girl I am. I tried voicing my concerns. I am told 16 isn't too many for a 30 year old but to me it seems like a few. I don't look at her like a $lut but it bugs me. My girl friend has a friend who said that yeah, back in the day she was a little easy and that he never would consider being with that and wants a "lady". I just am concerned I will always be compared to these other guys. I know its stupid and silly but I do. I regret never capitalizing on past chances because I wouldn't feel the way I do today. What if one day she thinks back about them or makes fun of me for being with less? The girl I lost my virginity to was with one other guy before me and made fun of me. It destoryed our relationship and she went out and cheated on me. I feel like sometimes I'm missing out still and only have so many yrs left. I also kinda know sleeping with other women isn't gonna solve anything either.
2007-12-10 08:34:57 · 17 answers · asked by modusoperandi 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Someone said to me that I shouldn't be embarrased. Its not so much that 8 is too few as it is that 16 is so many. Are they right? Am I missing out? Please don't make fun of this question. Go bash elsewhere
2007-12-10 08:36:25 · update #1
Your not missing out on anything except maybe a disease....Now you stop this BS and GROW UP!!!!
If you have a good thing here Leave it alone....If she really sucks as a Girlfriend Then Walk away.....
Get off the floor - wipe the tears off and go wash your face. Be A MAN!!!!
The only reason why you are having a fit is because she has had more lovers than you......You Feel Cheated.....
You have asked this question over and over again....Let it go.
2007-12-10 08:40:26 · answer #1 · answered by Been There Done That 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Don't be so insecure. Everyone has a past, if she's a good woman she will never tell you that someone else she had was better than you, and she will never make fun of you. At least she's been out there and while with you she feels like she isn't missing anything, well there you go, you're doing great. If you get with someone who hasn't had much experience, they might end up wondering if there's something better, even if what they have is good.
2007-12-10 16:47:43 · answer #2 · answered by Lovebug123 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Because most men view women as if they were Marco Polo in that they feel they are going somewhere where no man has ever gone, when in fact someone probably has. Look, no matter what your views on sex are and how good you are, there is always going to be someone out there who is better at it than you are. No one is the overall "best," but you may be the best to her. If she loves you and shows you no signs of any residual feelings for her past then just trust her and love her. Quit whining about her experience because she grabbed life by the horns and lived a little. If it is going to be that much of a problem for you cut her loose now and save both of you the heart ache later.
2007-12-10 16:53:31 · answer #3 · answered by No one 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
What does her past have to do with you? What she did before you should not concern you. What matters is what she is doing while she is with you. Everyone has a skeleton in their closet. You are lucky that she told you this information. Most people would have hidden that information from you. Some people never let their skeletons out of the closet and their partner ends up finding out and the relationship is automatically ruined. Be happy that you are with someone that is honest and is NOT willing to hold information back from you. Just be glad that you know. If your not comfortable with it then just leave. Find someone else that better suits you and your desires. She is not holding you in this relationship at gun-point. You have the choice to leave if you want to.
2007-12-10 16:55:27 · answer #4 · answered by dencur02 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
well i am pretty sure... that if most were one nighters... she barely remembers what they were like. people actually remember with their hearts and not their minds.. when they are in love. the best is the one.. that takes mind..body and soul. i am a true believer that unless it affects.. your health and relationship... what was done in the past ..should stay in the past. adults..should not be comparing how many lovers you have had or did not have. that is childish. unless she has a disease.. or was a lady of the evening inwhich... it comes back to haunt her...job or relationship.. u 2 should have left it alone. too many depends on who you are talking with,... the same as too little. and why are you as a grown man.. asking the opinion of others if 16 is too many. ask yourself.
2007-12-10 16:55:03 · answer #5 · answered by foosieboy1953 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Oh hon, i understand your concern it is only because you want to be the best that she ever had right? well then i say concentrate on that instead of thinking about her past and the number of guys she slept with. instead, find out what she likes in bed..where she likes to be touched, teased, kissed etc and do those things. also join a gym and work out, take some classes to strengthen your stamina so you last longer and can pick her up (if she is not too heavey that is) and throw her around the room and just rock her world. dont give this BS anymore attnetion that you already have. the past is the past, let it go. concentrate on the future, and let me tell you if you play your cards right, you are the future. get it? enjoy and cheers to you!
peace
:)
2007-12-10 16:42:06 · answer #6 · answered by mama2be 3 · 1⤊ 1⤋
16 is way too many.... take care of yourself, and as another answer stated: guys are always compared to past guys. I'm sure that rule applies also, as the guys compare gals...
Why have 16 on YOUR resume? Is that something that years down the road you're gonna be proud of? Probably not, as disturbed as you are about your current gal.
2007-12-10 16:45:44 · answer #7 · answered by sunflowergal 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
well if it bothers you so much, why be with her, why not be with someone who matches your numbers. She was and probably still is easy therefore you met her. You will always compare yourself with her ex lover and wonder how are you doing and probably fall short each time. 16 is a lot to compete with..... Honestly if this is how you feel, get out of it before you find yourself hurt. Also have you made sure that she is STD free? good luck.
2007-12-10 16:44:14 · answer #8 · answered by jimmy.parker06 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
So what's the big deal. You do know where to put your plaything don't you? So you've got enough experience. I'd be more concerned about what STD's she might have picked up along the way. She sounds pretty easy to me. I'm guessing she was the lay of the party. Oh I mean life..........
2007-12-10 16:44:20 · answer #9 · answered by Poppy 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i have to tell you even if her number was a 1 she would still compare! remember past is past. and unless her number was a hell of a lot more what? 16 and i mean A LOT more, i'd be scared more about STD's...one night stands occur more often than not especially in college. you either will get over it or not! and remember you NEVER ask the "number"...
2007-12-10 16:39:47 · answer #10 · answered by loriloriloriloriv 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋