He likes blaming everything on me. I'll ask him what's wrong and he says there's nothing wrong with me what's wrong with you. And when other people are around it seems like it just gets worse he likes trying to be the bigger person or something. We've only been married 1 year and 2 months!
2007-12-10 08:29:38 · 28 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
first of all try not having alcohol in the house .. secondly try finding other things you both enjoy doing besides going somewhere where you know there will be drinking and third its probably time to tell him about this and how it makes you feel ..holding things in don't make them go away or solve themselves
2007-12-10 09:03:41 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sounds like he has some growing up to do. Of course there are always two sides to every story but from what you've said he has confidence and insecurity issues that come out upon his diminished inhibitions which is obviously due to his alcohol consumption. I suggest you request he drink alone or with friends and family when you are not around. These situations can escalate into physical violence very easily and that is a sure-fire way to end a marriage. Remember that communication is the key to any healthy relationship and you need to voice your concerns when he is sober and stable. Good luck!!
2007-12-10 08:47:49 · answer #2 · answered by The_Gov 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You have many choices open to you. There are many women who have had to sort out these difficult problems. I'd lean on and draw from the experience of this large group of women and men. I would recommend attending Al-Anon meetings on a regular basis as a good start. It only takes a hour a week. People are very accepting. They're not prying. They're glad to share their lives. They're glad to share what they've learned. They are glad to listen if you feel you want to share. They have excellent literature that is a combination of the experiences of many spouses who have found themselves in the position you find yourself in now. They know your pain. They will share what they have found that works for them. They are not dogmatic. The won't make you commit to some creed. There are no dues. It could be the best move you ever make for yourself. I know it was for me.
http://www.al-anonfamilygroups.org/meetings/meeting.html
You may very well find a contact number in the blue pages of your local yellow pages that could get you a listing of the Al-Anon meetings in your area.
2007-12-13 15:34:04 · answer #3 · answered by Bryan G 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sorry to say but there is nothing you can do until he wants to make a change himself. Sometimes when one is left alone they tend to see what they are missing. Maybe an escape from the situation would be good. Take a little trip, even if you just get a room for a few nights. Leave a note and explain to him.
2007-12-10 08:41:03 · answer #4 · answered by lyme_aide 1 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Stay clear of him whilst he is drinking! Once he sobers up the next day tell him how much of an '***-hole' he is and ask him to get some counselling.
He is just trying to be a big 'hero' in front of others but needs booze to give him confidence.
Tell him if he doesn't 'curb' his drinking you're outta there! You don't need this sort of treatment. Life is too short to put up with crap like that!
Good Luck!
2007-12-10 08:37:49 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
Leave him, and get a divorce!
My mom's ex was exactly like that, when he was not drinking, he was fine, but when he was drinking, he would turn into a Jeykle and Hyde!!!!
He would start fights with all of us!!!! And left us crying!!!!
They moved to Arizona, and then he still kept on drinking, and then he started turning abusive with my mother, he got so abusive one time, that he pinned her up against the wall and held her by her throat, and pulled his fist back to hit her, and she just looked at him and said "do it", "do it" you SOB, and the look in her eyes were so angry that he just let her go, and she had bruses around her neck for days, she left, and until she lived with her girlfriend, she lived in her car for days!!!!!
Please do not go through what my mom and all us kids went through, he is not going to get better, he is heading for the bottom!!!!!
Do not let him drag you down with him!!!!!
2007-12-10 08:42:11 · answer #6 · answered by carriegreen13 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
wow, im sorry thats not a fun way to live. he sounds like he has unresolved anger issues, and none that are your fault, but from his past.. which he needs to resolve in order to stop harrassing you! and maybe... is he an alcoholic? it only gets worse from there, you need to sit down with yourself and figure out what you want, and if you truly feel happy. you guys havent been married long, so u wouldnt be loosing much.... its never to late to get out.
and... he likes ot pick on you in front of people, thats low... really he feels bad about himself in some ways, thats why he does this to you, it makes him feel better. try suggesting him getting help if you choose to stay!
2007-12-10 08:35:58 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
Start attending Al-anon meetings. You'll meet a lot of people who are in the same boat as you - and a lot of people who *were* in the same boat, and got out of it.
You can learn how *not* to get pulled into his manipulations and blame game there.
2007-12-10 09:07:39 · answer #8 · answered by stenobrachius 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
stop asking him questions when he is drunk. Talk to him when he is sober and tell him how he acts when he is drunk. Let him know that you will not put up with this. Then don't.
Either
#1 he changes how he acts while drinking
#2 he stops drinking
#3 he stops being with you
a person will only treat you as bad as you let them.
2007-12-10 08:43:35 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
You have two options; 1) he can go to an alcoholic treatment program, OR 2) you'll have to avoid him when he's drinking and/or drunk. Do not get pulled into an argument with him, and certainly do not ask him questions that will get him started.
2007-12-10 08:37:32 · answer #10 · answered by julesl68 5 · 2⤊ 1⤋