i want a baby and my BF said he wants one to but we have to wait til next year 08 so he can go to college. i want it now but he want help so should i go and cheat or wait? he is 18. he wants to have a baby but not get married for a long time what should i do? i said he dont have to help but he says he does but i want to get married and have the baby but then i want the baby now wat to do?
2007-12-10 07:52:34 · 31 answers · asked by Anonymous in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Pregnancy
Grow up. Mature people do whats good for the child and no child needs an uneducated mother.
If you care at all for this young man let him get the education he wants. You have plenty of time to have a baby-
How are you going to support this child? It costs about $13,000 for the birth. Do you have $13,000 or do you expect to be a welfare freeloader and have the taxpayers pay for it? Do you have a job?
2007-12-10 08:03:13 · answer #1 · answered by professorc 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Well noone can TELL you what to do.. But you have to look at this logically.. im 25 and pregnant for the first time and it's scary to think of all the bills that come with having a baby!! and im not talking medical bills... Do you go to school..Do you want to go to college.. Yes lots of people have kids and go to school but if you ask someone in that position they will tell you its very very hard.. Because you are going to school you have a baby plus a job if you have one or decide to get one... Yes there is financial help out there but thats only a limited amount you know... I would never suggest cheating on someone.. especially if you love your boyfriend.. and if you love him you wouldnt even consider it ya know.. If he wants to wait to have a baby maybe you should... Who knows in a year you could totally change your mind.. You should volunteer at a day care center and see what its like to take care of a baby.... I am not telling you what to do.. but if i were in your shoes i would wait... get an education.. live on your own.. save some money up... then decide if you really want and can handle a baby.. good luck hun!!!!!
2007-12-10 08:02:53 · answer #2 · answered by searching for answers 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
How in the world would you support a baby? A healthy baby has at least 7 wet diapers a day. That's over $500/yr. How will you pay for that? How will you pay for formula, clothing, shelter, transportation, etc? Who will watch the baby while you finish high school? Those are the realities of having a baby. You're not ready. No one is ready at 16.
You want a baby because they are cuddly and offer you unconditional love. They also need attention 24 hours a day. You need to unconditionally love yourself before you have a baby.
There are decades for you to have a baby. Go get some life experiences first, finish your education. You will be better prepared for the demands a baby places on you and will be a better example for your child.
2007-12-10 08:02:48 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
You are very focused on what you want and that is fine in terms of finding your direction but there is also a need to focus what you are offering this child who is not asking to be born. It's a safe bet that you want a baby because you believe that it will bring something to your life. And it will. But what are you bringing to this child's life? Stability and an environment where he/she will learn to love and trust or chaos and poverty where it will take every bit of will to grow and become a decent human being? Parenting is all about sacrifices, big and small, that we make because we love. Let the waiting for a home and parents who are ready to welcome and love the bundle of needs that is a baby be the first sacrifice, the first act of love that you give to your child. Spend a few years laying the groundwork and building a foundation for a wonderful experience, that which we call family, knowing that each piece is being added in it's right time. A rush now would be a cruel and selfish act that can only create misery for you, your child and society at large. Please wait.
2007-12-10 08:11:58 · answer #4 · answered by mink 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sweety, let me tell you this one thing. Have a baby only when "YOU" can afford to. With him without him.
Will you be able to continue school?
Who will watch the baby?
How much will you pay them?
When will you have time for homework and fun?
What if the baby is born with a disability? Are you ready to deal with that? Do you know how much it cost to raise a kid with special needs?
What about doctor visits and if the baby has chronic ear infections and has to always be taken to the hospital all hours of the night? Will your man go with you?
who will buy the clothes , crib, papmers cost so much, etc
Do not depend on him PERIOD, trust me please. However if he decides to be there then good. Don't rely on him though unless you want to be disapointed.
Your 16 right you have all the time in the world to have a baby. I suggest that you wait till ... you finish school, get your career then choose from all the men on the earth. Don't accept the first. There are so so so many men to choose from girl choose wisely. Good Luck. Be smart respect yourself.
2007-12-10 08:38:25 · answer #5 · answered by Thebronx 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Most teenage girls that want to have a child are doing it for the wrong reasons. You should wait, I am 27 and just had my first and still feel overwhelmed at times. Not to mention 2 of my little sisters had babies at young ages, one had her first at 15 and then a second at 17, the other had her first at 16. They both had to give up their teenage years. While all of their friends were out having a good time they were stuck at home with the baby.
Having a baby at any age is a life altering event. It is joyous of course but babies aren't something you can set aside when you get bored with them. They are expensive to put it mildly. Yes they fill your heart with joy but you need to make sure you are willing to give up the parties, the hanging out with friends, basicly your life as you know it. You should wait, regaurdless of what you might think, at 16 you are still just a baby yourself.
2007-12-10 08:13:21 · answer #6 · answered by kitten 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Honey, you are wayyyyyyyy too young. That's a huge thing to rush into. Think about the baby's life, not yourself. You have to be extremely committed, and think of all the things you won't be able to do once you have a baby. That means no more partying. You have your whole life ahead of you. And especially don't go cheat. I think you like the idea of having a baby more than actually raising a life. Wait until you're older and can be more responsible.
2007-12-10 08:00:34 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 3⤊ 0⤋
WAIT!!! You're only 16. Live your life first. You have only just entered adulthood, and a baby is going to tie you down for the next 18 years at least. Live your life for a few years, get a job and learn how to look after yourself first and when you've got that, you will be able to look after someone else as well.
Hope my advice helps ;)
2007-12-10 08:05:00 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
I remember feeling that way when I was 16/17..I got pregnant when I was 18 and my whole life changed..
Having a baby is a life-changing decision...You should really think about your life and what you really want before making a baby...
I love my son,but there are things I'll never get to do because I may have started a family too soon.Enjoy your young-life while you've got it..
2007-12-10 08:02:35 · answer #9 · answered by calebsmom85 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Wanting a baby is fine but I wouldn't cheat on him to have one nor would I act on having one right now. Do you plan on having him support you? How would you finish school and stay up with a crying baby? Trust me, I waited til I was 21 but my husband was working full time and going to college. I also worked full time and it was hard (EXTREMELY HARD) not just financially but on our relationship too. If you love your boyfriend don't put that strain on him. Let him get the groove of college down first. In a year or two, you will also be done with high school and by all means have a baby then!
2007-12-10 07:58:52 · answer #10 · answered by acadia 2 · 3⤊ 2⤋