well my fiancee is great but hes very sensitive...he goes to work from 4pm-12am and i only work a few hours a week. i feel like i get no other human contact...i dont have any girl friends but i do have a friend that i did date in my teen years. we are friends now...and i he can only be a friend to me because he just doesnt cut it for marriage material...
so..i went out with my ex and my fiancee gets steamingly pissed at me...as if he would rather me sit here all day alone with no one to talk and nothing to do...ive been doing it for almost 5 months straight. that can really have an effect on someone mentally..
like i said before...this guy was a puppy love relationship that turned bad and i know it would never work between my ex and i because we have both matured and are different people now. but he knows me...so its easy to talk to him...
am i doing anything wrong? or is he just being unreasonable. he wouldnt act different if it was a different guy either..or not an ex bf.
2007-12-10 07:49:19 · 7 answers · asked by kool k 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
i have bad social anxiety...its hard for me to just go and get a new job volenteer..or make friends....and it is 8 hrs i am alone...i understand he knows im a catch and he thinks other guys would like to have that too..but i am not hiding anythng from him..i tell him if im going out with him. i am also pretty overweight..so it is hard to get a job because ppl discriminate...cant lose weight..meds make matabolism low..no way to raising it.meds made me gain the weight.cant go off meds cuz then i have insomnia..then i get sick..natural supplements dont work. i have tried other perscriptions too.im stuck.. i dont want to be entertained as to just have someone else to talk to..and get advice from.
2007-12-10 08:23:13 · update #1
You did nothing wrong as long as your not hiding it from him that you to are hanging out. And if your really that bored sitting around go to the gym or a cafe house or join a club. Or you can always pick up more hours at work to get out of the house. Besides spending time with him and only him isn't health for either one of yous.
2007-12-10 07:59:07 · answer #1 · answered by Mrs. Rake 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Hi Kool K! I don't want to sound harsh, but I don't think you should marry this man. Why are you going to? What is it about him that makes him, as you call it, "marriage material?" His overprotective nature will not change. If that is something that won't bother you seven years from now, and you are absolutely sure he is the person for you in every way, then go for it, and congratulations!
Onto the ex situation... I can see why he'd be upset. I'm not saying he has any reason to think you are cheating, but reverse the roles here for a second. You are out working late and come home to hear him tell you about all the fun things he and his ex-girlfriend did that night. Ew. That doesn't feel so good. Maybe you could join a gym, or dance class, or craft group and share your time doing something you enjoy with new people. Maybe you could take some classes at a community college and learn a few things you have always wanted to know.
Just make sure he's great enough to marry. Good luck with your decisions. :)
2007-12-10 16:11:48 · answer #2 · answered by just me 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Oh honey! Get a life. If you expect your bf to entertain you are you in for hurtin". As I see it you are only alone from 8 at night til midnight and for part of that you should be sleeping. During the day get yourself another part time job preferably one volunteering to help people who are worse off than you. That will give you an opportunity to meet some women you can relate to so you don't have to annoy your bf by going out with someone who upsets him. Grow up and start taking care of yourself. Everyone will like you better for that.
2007-12-10 16:01:45 · answer #3 · answered by Pal 7 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Well, now. This is a tricky and sensitive thing to have to point out but a person (man or woman) who wants to control your every action is abusive.
Does s/he -
Check the mileage on your car
Demand to know where/with whom/etc.etc.etc. you go
Not want you to have other friends
Wants your world to be a subset of their world?
Accuses you of cheating
etc. etc. etc.
Those are not good signs.
Truly darling, I'd rethink marrying this man. I'd rethink marrying him - while I was running for the hills. He's bad news.
2007-12-10 16:02:33 · answer #4 · answered by Barbara B 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
i understand his reaction totally. they want you to themsleves, meaning no going out alone with another guy even if it was your friend. Thats allowing yourselg into situations that could become something more. Have you ever thought, that maybe your bf just thinks your so awesome that any other guy would love to have you and might snatch you away if you hang out with them enough. It is not that he does not trust you maybe, but that your so great to him, some other guy will try to take you. I think his reaction is sweet and normal and just show that he loves you so...oh, and the same should obviously go for him with girls.
2007-12-10 16:00:17 · answer #5 · answered by blakesgal 3 · 2⤊ 1⤋
I think he is right. I would like it if my fiance was going out with his ex. Especially if it was only the two of them. Maybe if you and your ex and some other friends all went out, but just the two of you is kind of like a date. If you are board and want more adult contact, get a full time job, find some healthy hobbies, don't fill your time with other men. You are only asking for trouble!!
2007-12-10 15:56:57 · answer #6 · answered by misbotta 4 · 1⤊ 1⤋
well theres something wrong with both of these things....first off, any male is gona be up in arms if ur hanging out with an ex...it cant ever lead to nothing good...so he has a good reason to be angry with that....however, the second wrong thing is that ur fiancee sounds like a closet case for those future "shes my property i do what i want with her" male idiots on maury shows...i would leave this guy and maybe put a restraiining order on him in case he acts up and stay away far away from his crazy ***...
2007-12-10 15:58:59 · answer #7 · answered by Cat 2 · 0⤊ 2⤋