I love my fiancée very much. We have been together for a while now and in just about every way the relationship is very satisfying. Every way but one, I find our sex life to be very unfulfilling. I am not asking for threesomes or serious kink, just for her to take charge and be a little more aggressive from time, maybe express some opinions about what she wants, and maybe a little bit of variety or surprise. This isn’t something I want to ruin the relationship over; I would like to find a way to express that my needs aren’t being met and that I am down-right bored. How do I raise the issue without hurting her feelings or coming off like a jerk?
2007-12-10 07:13:49 · 14 answers · asked by M B 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
jus be up front and tell her that you feel that ya'll should try somethin a little different from what ya been doin..... jus show her some porn and point out wat u would like to try and see if she's interested the only thing she can say is no.
2007-12-10 07:20:34 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
She may be thinking the same, but doesn't want you to think bad of her.
So, why not just start the conversation.
You could also buy her some nice outfit, and say that you have been dying to do it for ages, but wasn't sure how she'd react.
Communication is the key thing.
There's not a thousand way to know something from someone you love, but by asking them. Talking to them; letting them know how you feel; Sharing your secrets and fantasies with them.
Good luck.
2007-12-10 07:27:00 · answer #2 · answered by Kc 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
First I would sit down and talk with her just like you did here, and tell her that you love her very much, try toys, it took me 10 years to get over my shyness with that subject with my husband, but man am I gald that I did, we have so much fun, we don't use them all the time but when we do it is a blast, try slumber parties.com a very clean web site to look with your spouse, no nude women or men on the website, just differnt things to help spice up the bedroom, very professional, I hope this helps and good luck and you are a wonderful man to find out a way to help your bedroom relationship then just splitting and finding another women, I wish there werer more men like you.
2007-12-10 07:26:16 · answer #3 · answered by kelly 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
A girl can tell if the hard edge is going out of her sex life, just like you can.
Buy her some expensive leather lingerie, a steel chastity belt and a cane. Ask her to buckle the belt and leave the key with a colleague at work for a few days, put the lingerie on and whip your backside with the cane until you scream with pain.
If you tell me her email, I will write to her and tell her what your needs are.
2007-12-10 07:19:22 · answer #4 · answered by Monica 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
My exhusband gave me a video tape on how to please a man. It hurt my feelings deeply, so I don't suggest this. About the only way to really go about this without coming across as a jerk, is to ASK her! Ask, ask ask... Make her feel sexy as hell when you do... You say things like: Baby, I want to know what turns you on? How can I touch you & make you feel good? She will be shy & not sure what it is you are doing... Women do not know how to be assertive without coming across as a s.l.u.t. So, make sure you assure her all the while that you love her & are wanting to sexplore her inner most sexual feelings. The things NOT to do, is to be selfish! If you tell her she is not fulfilling your needs, you will get ZIP! Cause you have offended her. Make it about HER & when she is feeling secure in opening up that fantasy side with you, YOU will then get yours!!! It has to do with TRUST!
2007-12-10 07:23:29 · answer #5 · answered by T. 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
She probably senses it to and doesn't know how to approach you about it without hurting your feelings. Suggest the two of you go to the adult store together and pick out some stuff to experiment with. Make it a fun thing not a "our relationship is in trouble" thing.
2007-12-10 07:33:16 · answer #6 · answered by YUMMY1 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Ask her if there's anything you can do to make sex better for her. That might get her to open up about what she wants and you'll come off as being a sweetheart instead of a jerk.
2007-12-10 07:25:23 · answer #7 · answered by confused 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Communicate with her. She needs to know how you feel. I've found that the best time to bring up something like that is when they're close to an orgasm. At that point, they'll agree to do just about anything.
2007-12-10 07:40:40 · answer #8 · answered by S K 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You just come out and say what you feel, and you need to realize this is how she is and she's not going to change now or later, so don't think things will get better after marriage because it don't if anything it gets worse... So my advice to you is DO NOT MARRY THIS WOMAN!!! you two are not compatible...
2007-12-10 07:31:34 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
she shouldnt be mad if you suggest you two try something else, maybe youshould initiate like next time you two are going somewhere at night take her for a drive and you know what to do next right? get her sexy mama outfit to wear for you get her a card and write in it you have been very naughty and she needs to spank daddy? just some ideas.
just talk to your wife!
2007-12-10 07:18:36 · answer #10 · answered by laylajai74 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋