I leave for work at 7.30 in the morning. I get back at 6 at night. Nothing is ever done around the house. It is now 7.40 pm and I've seen her for 5 minutes. She works 3 hours a day, 2-5. As soon as I came in she said hi and disappeared in to the bedroom to watch her bloody soaps. So far my dinner consisted of a bowl of soup and a packet of crisps. I cook at the weekends. It it too much to ask to have the house cleaned ( the vacuum cleaner hasn't see a plug socket in over two years) and to have my dinner cooked for me!?
2007-12-10 06:47:17 · 21 answers · asked by Thunder 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
We have no children. We've been married nearly 9 years and our 'bedroom' activity has been practically no existant for most of them.Still haven't seen her 2 hours later. I'm rempted to go and have an affair just to relieve the boredom of my marriage. I would consider seperation but wouldn't know how to go about it.
2007-12-10 08:41:17 · update #1
The first 2 years of our marriage she cooked during the week and cleaned the house. I cooked at the weekend because; 1/ I enjoy cooking, and 2/ she was cooking during the week. Now I'm still cooking at weekends but she's doing bugger all during the week. Her job isn't demanding and as I've already said she only works 3 hours a day. I know she's not seeing anyone else. I was caught out like that in a previous relationship, the guy was in traction for 3 months (I didn't touch her, just threw her out of my house - I DO NOT HIT WOMEN!) My wife knows about this and knows I would do it again!
2007-12-10 10:19:53 · update #2
That is not to much to ask, I stay at home with my 3 kids, plus I watch another little boy during the day, and when my husband comes home the house is clean and his dinner is on the table. It might not always be a gourmet meal, but I always cook something. My family depends on him for so many things, the least I could do for him is clean the house and cook his dinner.
2007-12-10 06:53:56 · answer #1 · answered by Briana 3 · 7⤊ 0⤋
If you get back only an hour after she gets off work maybe she's unwinding. As for nothing being done around the house it all depends on if you have children between the ages of 1 and 5. If there are children she could have cleaned the house entirely before leaving for work and it would still be messy when you got home because it literally takes only 5 minutes for 1 small child to completely trash a house. Especially if the mother is too exhausted to run after them.
2007-12-10 07:08:50 · answer #2 · answered by confused 1 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Yes this wife needs some trianing. I would clean the house as quickly as you can but good, then when u r done say wow that took x amnt of minutes about 30 min it should take..
the house wouldnt get messy if she picked up after her self you know. if she gets home at say 530 that gives her time to marinate steak or what ever meats and cook it have your 4 course meal on the table ready for you when you get home.
she should get up at 630 am to make you breakfast and have that ready for when you get out of the shower. she shouldnt be tired unless you guys have 10 kids at home too.
i see on tv those families with 9 kids and wifes still cook and clean. let her know that your hungry when you get home and ask her what she does to feel her time.
My husband is a police officer he works crazy hours but lately i get up at 415 am i pray, workout i get my husbands lunch together and my sons then at 5-6 my husband leaves to work i feed my baby and my other son and take them to school i have to walk my 7 y/o 1.5 miles a way there and back twice a day cause my husband takes the car most the time. then i come home do laundry and put his uniforms in/out of the cleaners or do other errands pay the bills etc then at 2pm i get dinner going so by 4 it will be ready and i can spend more time with my husband when he gets home i go to sleep around 10-11 pm and do the same thing everyday i dont get much sleep but its ok you do what you gotta do.
talk to her find out the reason, then if she starts cleaning and cooking thank her so she feels appreciated.
make sure its not something that is bothering her andmaybe can be withdrawn?
good luck
fyi: what will happen if you dont go to work does she make enough to support you? then u can stay at home?
1 more thing: i dont care if you two have a village of kids you have to eat and my grandma raised 9 kids and is still maticulous about her home. is your wife not interested in being organized and pleasing you?
tt her
2007-12-10 07:01:34 · answer #3 · answered by laylajai74 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Well is she raising your kids? If she is working 3 hours and taking care of kids then maybe that is why she has no time for anything. If there are no children invoivled then you need to talk to her and tell her that things have to change or she will have to pay for a house keeper with her own money. You deserve to get a home cooked meal at least a few times a week. Good luck!
2007-12-10 06:56:16 · answer #4 · answered by anna_90242 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You are not asking too much, she should prepare your meals and clean house, you stated you cook on week-ends, what's her problem? maybe you have spoiled her to the point she doesn't think she should do anything at home, has she ever cooked or cleaned? You need to sit her down and have a heart to heart talk and let her know you expect a little more input from her, if she's not willing, then you need to reevaluate your marriage and see if it is worth keeping. Good luck guy. I feel bad for you.
2007-12-10 09:02:40 · answer #5 · answered by onyx1 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋
If you have no children then you are certainly getting a raw deal. My husband stays home and rarly does he ask me to do anything, though I do make dinner sometimes because he doesn't cook some of the meals that I like or that the kids really like, but I volunteer for that not the other way around...
2007-12-10 06:56:21 · answer #6 · answered by mrskerlin 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
When two people in the marriage work then the household chores should be team work. Although since your wife works such short hours and you work longer hours it is unfair of her to feel she can ignore her household duties. Her lack of motivation to pitch in and do her share of housework and cooking indicates she has learned to take you for granted. This behavior is typical of the wives who eventually end up losing their husbands and then wonder why. Unless something changes that will make her motivated to do her share, you either divorce her or hire a maid. Sorry, but what other options do you have?
2007-12-10 07:05:06 · answer #7 · answered by pictureshygirl 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You really need to talk to her.. because I'm always worried about what my husbad thinks about my cooking and house cleaning and all that stuff... but he does give me my space...
on the weekends he says i don't have to cook... he helps me do the laundry because we don't haeva laundry room at home...so he takes me... and helps...and he understands when i want to go out with my friends...
but you should definetly talk toher about it.. nicely..tell her so hunny what did you do today? Is everything ok? How was work? Are you gonna clean the house tomorrow?
Hopefully it will work...
She is in the bedroom now... go there and talk to her...don't just leave her there...give her some attention..maybe she will change her attitude
2007-12-10 06:58:25 · answer #8 · answered by Cutie77 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
you ever heard of communication
Talk to her ask her what's up she may be mad at you she may have other stuff going on it's not all about you
I know it's tough but sit there and have an honest discussion with her .
She may be suffering from depression and not even know it
Be Nice about it dont come on in attack mode or verbally mean either
Be kind the worst thing that you can do is come on mean in a situation like this
I know i have a disability but i also have the housework done and supper ready for my bf when he gets home
2007-12-10 06:57:07 · answer #9 · answered by rebel_angel031 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
WOW! i guess it depends on how much these things mean to you? was she this way before you married or just since you got married?
there are several things to do, some more harsh than others...you can start by stopping somewhere on your way home and eat and tell her that you got something out because you are tired of having no dinner...
buy a crockpot and start your dinner before you leave home, that way at least you will have a hot meal.
it sounds to me like its more than just laziness, it seems like there is a major disconnect in your relationship and you should try to talk to her to try to resolve it.
the cooking and cleaning, thats easy but if there are deeper problems then it will be harder to resolve.
good luck!
2007-12-10 06:54:34 · answer #10 · answered by chantel 3 · 3⤊ 0⤋