do all wives blow up on their husbands every once in awhile? is this normal? i am a generally good guy, maybe?

Question

a little selfish at times, but not a bad person. my wife blows up on me once a month on average. says stuff to me like i dont think of her enough, etc. etc.
do all husbands deal with this? i am not asking this question to be a wise guy, but just wondering if i got a raw deal.

Answer 1

You got the raw deal, sorry. Loving wives *never* blow up. They always respect and love.

Answer 2

You did not get a raw deal. There are always times when someone will get frustrated with any situation.

I have been married for almost 5 years and there are times when I just cant take it. I blow up. Most of the time it is at my husband, and most of the time, it has absolutely nothing to do with him, even if I focus the anger and frustration at him. He is my best friend, who better to share these issues with then him?

It is something that happens. You get angry and some people don't know how to deal wtih situations other then the way she or others do.

Track the days it happens. It may be when she is menstrating, or at certain times in her cycle. THe hormones do sometimes take over and that can also have a lot to do with it. Keep a calendar for a few months, and see if you can see some consitency. Then around those times of the month, either stay clear, or go out of your way to show her how much you care.
My husband does this, and its great!

Good luck! NO RAW DEAL HERE! Love and life is all that is at work.

Answer 3

I think you've answered your own question without realizing it. This happens once a month? It's probably like a week before her cycle when PMS is high. Most women deal with PMS and are very emotional for about 5 days or so. Try to see if you can notice when it happens and if there is a pattern. As long as it's not tooo bad, just try to deal with it, and make her feel comfortable as possible about issues you've two have been dealing with. Then, really work on the issues when it's "not that time". Best wishes.

Answer 4

Well you have to think about a few things. One think about how long this has been going on. And two think about the situation. Maybe she is dealing with other things work and just happens to snap at you once she has had enough. I do not blow up at my husband all the time. I mean at most once a month but thats usually over petty things that I apologize for later. He does not take them personally. I say its perfectly normal for your wife to blow up every now and then. May not be the best thing but its going to happen. What my husband does is just let me say what I want to say then he explains or tries to calm me down or if he did something wrong he apologizes. Just do not argue unless its worth arguing over. Most times he wont argue with me then after I am done I feel horrible and apologize to him. Sounds silly but it works.

Answer 5

Your wife may feel neglected at times, but that's not an occasion for her to blow up. Women usually blow up when they want to control the situation. It's called 'putting you on a guilt trip to get my way'. You need to have a serious talk with your wife. Tell her that you don't mind it if she wants to talk about her feelings; but you won't allow her to disrespect you anymore. You don't have a hearing problem, or a problem with English comprehension; so she can sit down and talk to you, like she's an intelligent human being. When you tell her this, you need to be direct and firm! If she does it again, after you've clearly told her you don't like it, grab your coat and leave for a few hours. She'll soon learn that you're not going to put up with such behavior.

Understand that it doesn't matter whether she's on her period when she does this, or whatever else is going on. Point is, she is disrespecting you and she needs to stop it!

Answer 6

My husband does a pretty good job of dealing with it when I lose it. I explained to him about all of the stuff he does, which I give him huge strokes for, and then list all of the stuff I do on a daily basis, right down to monitoring what our kids watch on TV. he sees there is a gap, but I don't B***h about that. All I would like to have is a pat on the back, out of the blue from him. A simple acknowledgment that he can see on his own, with out me pointing it out, what a hellava job I do, and that I am good at it. A random, I love you, or hey baby, you rock, and I swear its like I am star struck.
Try that and see if it doesn't help out. And on the petty girlie side, sparkly things help too!!

Answer 7

Not uncommon, people have bad days....but don't think that it doesn't matter or that you don't have to validate her feelings. Maybe she has pms, my first husband, the only time I'd tell him about things that were bothering me was during my periods, since I was irregular, this was about every 3 or 4 months. But these were things that bothered me all the time. Its just when I was "raggin" I didn't have the graces to just suck it up and get over it. He always disregarded my unhappiness, my grievances until one day I could take it any more and left him.

Answer 8

Haha I am guilty of that as well... I try not to blow up on him, but just get so frustrated! He'll unintentionally hurt me, I'll get upset, we'll talk it over and I think it's resolved..... then he forgets and slips up the same way a few weeks later and it starts all over again! (drinking late and then waking me up at 1am when I have to work the next day, his friend disrespecting me/us, etc.) I selflessly encourage him to go out there and do his own thing, but then he ends up crossing lines and taking me for granted.... and then I blow up and then the cycle starts again! LOL (he screws up, I get mad, we fix it and are sooo in love again, it slowly slips, then he slips up bad - and here we go again!)

Answer 9

people in general think they treat people better than they actually do. You should try talking to her when she's calm about the things she says when she "blows up" and see if there are ways you could treat her better. Also tell her of any ways that you think she could treat you better. As long as you're both calm and nobody starts throwing around blame you should be able to work things out.

Answer 10

Its normal. We all have to deal with it at times. Just survive the once a month and get on with life.

Answer 11

I think that all husbands deal with that. That's what they tell me when I meet them at the bar crying over their beers. It sounds like a woman thing. Just continue to be patient and try to be cognizant of the behavior that she is commenting on so that it doesn't reoccur. Good luck.