So my fiance's parents gave him a check for $2000 for moving expenses and so we can have some type of money for our small apartment we're renting this weekend.... so he asks me if he can have half of it for his college school loans? As if we didn't need that money to move, to buy groceries, and to furnish an apartment? I seriously feel hurt that he feels he needs that money for a student loan that can be paid for later on... What should i do? Isn't that money OURS instead of HIS?
2007-12-10 06:31:40 · 14 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
He wouldn't even be getting this money if we weren't getting married... and he currently lives with his parents so that's why we need to furnish an entire apartment with like no money in our bank accounts.
2007-12-10 06:32:57 · update #1
Remind him that this was a gift for moving expenses for the two of you to begin your life together. Tell him you don't want his parents to feel insulted, or to be wondering how you could have possibly spent $2,000.00 when clearly you didn't. Let him know that once he completes his education, he'll have a much easier time paying off that tuition, and that you could help him with that in the future, but for right now the money is needed for the big move. Make a list of everything you need, take him shopping to see what the costs are like, and build the budget together (including bills, groceries, furnishings, etc.) He hasn't been out on his own yet, he probably doesn't realize how unrealistic his request is.
2007-12-10 06:45:54 · answer #1 · answered by Betty 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would sit down with him and discuss the financial standing. Create a budget an estimated $. If you guys are starting out & both live with your parents you have no idea how expensive it will be to furnish an apt. You will need everything. Make a list with the estimated value of everything. Discuss this with him. Maybe he doesn't understand everything you need. Considering he still lives @ home. Maybe go bargain hunting on stuff you need for the house Then whatever's left he can spend on his loans. It's your first place together it doesn't need to be anything extravagant. Just livable. good luck
2007-12-10 15:34:28 · answer #2 · answered by Monique 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
have you heard of something called a JOB, is when you go to a place for 8 hours a day and do some work and at the end of the month you get money??? try that, then you can furnish your apartment, its HIS parents money, and gave it to HIM, for the both of you, hes education will benefit the BOTH of you in the long run.
2007-12-10 14:56:42 · answer #3 · answered by suehellen 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
You're not married yet - so it doesn't belong to the both of you.
Although, even if you were married, money his parents give him should be his and not shared money.
It sounds like you have real money issues.
I can tell that your issues will bring the marriage a lot of grief, especially since you both seem a little financially strapped right now.
With you money problems and all - I hope you are planning a no--frills wedding and honeymoon.
Good luck (you're going to need it).
2007-12-10 15:15:00 · answer #4 · answered by KI557 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Yes, I would be a little angry. He can make payments on his school loans, and you need to set up a home together asap..you need every bit of that money to do that. You guys need to talk, and if I were you, I would make a list of everything you need for the apartment and include a dollar estimate. Total it and show it to him. Maybe he just needs to see something on paper to help comprehend the necessity of all $2,000. Good luck!
2007-12-10 14:45:15 · answer #5 · answered by julesl68 5 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Compromise, communicate and develop what seems to be a underlying energy to get you to submit out of guilt that his parent gave the money. If he wants to pay for his student loan he needs to re-visit this issue with his parents, not take money intended for one thing and do another. Who knows his parents may give him the loan money as well. Good luck
2007-12-10 14:45:08 · answer #6 · answered by jackie ms 1 · 0⤊ 2⤋
You need to sit down together and create a budget (or spending/savings plan) based on income and expenses, needs and wants. Then prioritize what needs to be done and if you disagree keep talking and don't spend any of the $2,000 until you agree.
2007-12-10 14:36:17 · answer #7 · answered by Jen70 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Actually, that money is his.
He has control over it and you don't.
You can ask him to use it the way you want him to, but ultimately its his decision to agree or disagree.
Paying off debt early so you can live more comfortably in the future is actually a smart thing to do. Fine you don't have things, but that should motivate you to work hard and EARN what you want.
Getting upset at your fiance for not giving you free reign over HIS PARENT'S MONEY sounds a little spoiled.
2007-12-10 15:15:38 · answer #8 · answered by snack_daddy10 6 · 0⤊ 1⤋
No you should not be angry as the money came from his parents and you're not married. However, if you often disagree about how monies are spent, you must iron the ground rules out before you're married or this will get ugly fast!
2007-12-10 14:42:14 · answer #9 · answered by Itsa Secret 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋
if the money was given to the both of you for moving expenses then that is what it should be spent on , he should not be trying to spend it on other things , he is not thinking clearly on this issue, and yes the money belongs to both of you, you may seeing what he will be like to live with,
2007-12-10 14:52:07 · answer #10 · answered by George 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋