We've been TTC our first child for 28 months now. I know 8 pregnant people and I really thought I was pregnant this time. Nope. AF came early and is light, but I know it's really my AF.
My best friend called me this morning (I started AF this morning) and told me she's pregnant. I'm happy for her, but I'm very sad at the same time. I cried a little, but I'm at work, so I've gotta keep it under control.
What can I do to cheer myself up?
2007-12-10 04:57:54 · 14 answers · asked by TwinMommy 5 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Trying to Conceive
I am 22 and my husband is 23.
2007-12-11 04:13:44 · update #1
This is the hardest thing. You have been ttc for so long and then everyone else conceives so quickly. It is hard. Try to put your faith in God and reach out to him for comfort. It will help. Try to stay positive and supportive to those that are close to you and pregnant. It is hard but being ugly won't help.
I have a cousin that wasn't even ttc just give birth last week. I have another cousin that is pregnant with her 2nd that only tried for 3 months with both of her pregnancies. I have 2 close friends that are pregnant after ttc less than 3 months and my boss's daughter is pregnant after ttc only 1 month. Plus my doctor is on maternaty leave and the nurse at her office and a receptionist are pregnant. I see pregnant strangers all the time. Even my hubby has started noticing. We went out to eat a couple of months ago and the table next to us was having a baby shower and then our waitress was pregnant and then we went to the store and the cashier was pregnant.
I think it is just a test from God and we along with you and your hubby will get our blessings. Think about this we will be so happy to be pregnant and having a baby moreso than someone else it came easily for. My cousin that just gave birth hated being sick and pregnant because she wasn't ttc but I will love every moment and be taking in the whole process. As will you because we are so ready and have been dreaming about this. Take care!!!
2007-12-10 05:06:16 · answer #1 · answered by HONEYB1 6 · 5⤊ 0⤋
How old are you? Have you talked to a doctor to see if everything is working fine? Have your partner get checked up, too. I think after 28 months, you should find out if medical intervention is needed.
This is only my second month trying, but I am already feeling the stress, especially because I am 32 and never had a child before. So, I don't know how fertile (or not) I am. I told myself that if I don't get pregnant in 6 months, I am going to ask the doctor if anything can be done. I've been timing intercourse around ovulation and hopefully that will show my doctor that I seriously want to get pregnant soon.
Meanwhile, go shopping and spend time with family to take your mind off TTC. I know it's hard, but thinking about it only makes it worse. Good luck and make an appt to see your doctor soon!
2007-12-10 21:56:09 · answer #2 · answered by Pinkfrrt 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I don't no exactly what to say for I am in the same shoe as you, my af is coming down also and it does hurt, ever since I came on the message board you were here so I can really feel your pain, it feels as if you'll never make it to the end of the tunnel, try planning a night of fun with you and your husband, try someplace where no one does be that often *(because I would no your pain if you see a pregnant woman) think positive because if af is heavy then i"ll just be implantation bleeding, just have faith and believe in God and know he'll come threw for you, remember your not alone in this battle I have pcos and ttc#1 for 4 years me and my fiance' is apart now, I haven't heard from him in 6 days, so just thank the Lord you have a real man on the side of you who can go alone in the struggle with you
2007-12-10 16:42:31 · answer #3 · answered by Mom of 2 w/ PCOS 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I'm so sorry. I feel that way too...although I haven't been trying as long as you have. It just seems like everybody is having babies, and it just makes me insane! I just don't understand it. People like us that have been trying like crazy to have one (and would make awesome parents) have to struggle so dang hard. Grr...
I'm into starting hobbies. I was crocheting for awhile, but that just made it worse, because I was starting to make baby blankets and such lol. So, now I'm gonna begin taking guitar lessons. I think it will get my mind off of ttc if only for a few hours a day. Try to stay positive...I know it's hard sometimes. I know all of us ttc are sooo ready for a baby, and it breaks our heart when AF comes every month...but we still have something that people who already have babies don't. FREEDOM! Although I want one more than anything in the world right now, heck, if my husband and I decided we wanted to take off and go to another country for a week, we could do it and not have to worry about anything. I look at all of my friends that have babies, and they're stuck at the house all day. They hardly ever get out, because they're so preoccupied with taking care of the baby. It kinda makes me feel good in knowing that I have something that they would love to have. Of course I would give it all up in a heartbeat for a baby though. I think you and your husband should just have a romantic weekend together. Go somewhere fun, get a hotel room with a hot tub, and spend all the time together that you can. Try some different things...go to an exotic restaurant. Pretend like you're kids again! Good Luck! It will happen for you one day soon! Baby Dust to you!!!
2007-12-10 17:46:48 · answer #4 · answered by Tisha 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Hey babe, I was really hoping with you this month. But hey, you got a period, to some people that is an achievement. So, keep your head up, and count your blessings. It will happen, and trully, make sure you chart your temperature next month if you are not already doing that. What do doctors say? I think you got PCOS, am I right, well I got it too.We are trying for the past 10 months, but I wasn' t even seen by gyno yet. I would go and talk to my doc if I was you, teher must be something they can help you with. Hav you tried Clomid or Metformin? You have to go and be seen.It will all work out fine, don't worry, am thinking of you, xxx
2007-12-10 14:27:33 · answer #5 · answered by Teri 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Well, when I was ttc and my AF would come and utterly disappoint me. I would either plan a girls night out or get an expensive bottle of wine. Then I would enjoy the company of my husband. A baby really does change a relationship drastically. I would enjoy this time, especially ttc, it's the most pleasurable part! Best of luck to you and don't feel so bad, it'll happen.
2007-12-10 13:30:26 · answer #6 · answered by rizing 4 · 3⤊ 0⤋
I'm sorry to hear that youre having a hard time right now. I know too well what its like to see that everyone around you is getting pregnant with no problem.
My brother's wife just had twins less than a month ago and he doesnt seem to appreciate it. I was talking about the babies the other day and he just says to me "You're jealous, and I'm overwhelmed." Which made me cry because he was acting like it was no big deal, and that his life was OVER because now he has 4 children. They never expected that she would get pregnant with twins this last time. She got pregnant completely naturally, only being off the pill for 2 months. And she had fraternal twins meaning she got pregnant TWICE in the same night. 2 eggs, 2 sperm at the same time. It got me so mad when I first heard she was having twins. I can't even make ONE baby!!!
Its hard to tell you what to do to take your mind off of it but there really isnt anything to do. You either have to find a hobby that distracts you 24/7 or you need a small box to lock yourself up in.. because no matter what you do, there are going to be baby shower invitations going to be flooding you in a few months (especially if you know 8 pregnant women right now) So you're going to be doing a lot of smiling when you don't want to, and congratulating people who you probably feel don't deserve the children that they have already.
I know someone else has probably already asked you this, but have you got your husbands sperm tested yet? If you haven't maybe you and him both should get some "Mens" and "Womens" daily vitamins that contain Folic Acid. I know it wont get you pregnant but just a simple multi-vitamin can increase your chances alot. Especially if your husband is having a sperm problem or maybe youre not getting proper nutrients everyday. Or maybe even start trying natural treatments (since I notice you havent started clomid or any prescribed ones) Ive been on Vitex for over 2 1/2 months now and I think it's done WONDERS for me. I actually had a 31 day cycle last month for the first time in my life! Ive really felt a lot better since Ive been taking herbs. I'm also on Cinnamon 1500mg a day and EPO 1500mg (until O) also me and my boyfriend are both taking multi-vitamins. Ive stopped stressing a lot because now I know Im doing something in order to increase my chances - and not just waiting around anymore. Maybe trying something new will cheer you up and get you ready to face another month of TTC.
But other than that, all I can say is try to take it lightly. Don't be hard on yourself about any of this crap. Just know that you are not alone in your TTC journey, that there are many women just like you and me that continue to wait and wait for a baby to happen.
You really are in my thoughts, eventhough I may have made you mad in the past by being so harsh. Im truly sorry if I ever made you feel bad...
2007-12-10 13:50:38 · answer #7 · answered by Starlight*Angel 5 · 3⤊ 0⤋
Get out of the house and do something enjoyable. Get your hair done, or a pedicure, buy a new dress, go rock climbing, whatever you really enjoy. The point is not to dwell on this, that won't help anything. When you are out and you start to feel a little sad again remind yourself that your ability to do these things later will be limited, and go on enjoying yourself.
2007-12-10 13:07:57 · answer #8 · answered by Mommy of 1.5 5 · 3⤊ 0⤋
aww im sorry hun, but think of it this way at leased you still have another chance, you could be like me and not have that next chance for TTC. Dh and I are going to adopt in 08 because it is the only way we will be parents together. Be happy about your friends becoming parents, believe it or not it will help you through what you are going through by helping to keep your mind occupied with them and helping plan there baby showers etc. I have learned this the hard way myself by finally excepting my sister n laws 2nd pg and recent discovery of one of my friends' s newly found 2nd pg (as of today). so hold your head up and count your many blessings, things could be much , much worse. good luck for this cycle. hugs girl
2007-12-10 19:51:35 · answer #9 · answered by Rowan Red Tail Hawk 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I totally feel for you. I know 3 pregnant women, my sister, my sister-in-law and my friend all due right around the new year. Even though you are happy for them, its gut wrenching for you. I agree with HoneyB1, have faith in God. I have a strong faith and I have been praying for a year now and nothing has happened, but I know God has a plan for me, just not sure what that plan is. Keep your chin up, it will happen. Good luck and baby dust
2007-12-10 15:16:16 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋