observed them raising "their" children differently from your teachings, would you bite your tongue and not interfere, or would you want to step in and have it done your way ?
2007-12-10 04:53:28 · 16 answers · asked by Anonymous in Society & Culture ➔ Cultures & Groups ➔ Senior Citizens
I've experienced this in my own life. My husband and I were both raised by parents who believed in the "spare the rod/spoil the child" adage and we were really unhappy kids. When we had our first daughter we literally sat down, talked about how we were raised and decided that we weren't willing to inflict that sort of brutal childhood on our kid. Every single time one of us would start to react in a way that made the other person uncomfortable that other person would intervene and put a stop to it. Our eldest child may have had a swat on her behind a total of five times. Her younger sister, probably less.
Our parents marvelled at how well-behaved our kids are and have commented that they certainly did things differently but that our way has been working for us. Now our two daughters are 22 and 21 respectively, and are delightful people who may have fewer hangups than my husband and I do. Time will tell on that one. :)
2007-12-10 05:05:52 · answer #1 · answered by chick2lit 5 · 4⤊ 0⤋
It depends on what kinds differences we are talking about here. One thing you have to keep in mind is that your son/daughter is not the only raising their children. There are two people involved here and it is doubtful that their spouse was raised exactly the same way or is going to have the same philosophies in raising children as you do. You also have to consider that just because you did what you did and things turned out for the better maybe some of your sons/daughters do not necessarily agree with how you did certain things.
Unless they come to you soliciting advice it is best to stay out of it or else you potentially alienate your family and run the risk of not being able to see your grandkids at all. The only time you should speak up is if you see something going out that could seriously hinder the development of the child or bring harm to them.
2007-12-10 05:07:56 · answer #2 · answered by eaengberg 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Unless someone is harming there children that needs child protection services called its none of my business how others raise their kids. If its a close friend or family member I may give advise or my opinion, but I would never try to step in. That is crossing the line.
2007-12-10 04:58:24 · answer #3 · answered by Umm Ali 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋
I would bite my toungue unless I felt the child was in danger of some sort. There are many different ways to do one thing, no one way being better, we just want the end product to come out the same. A polite, educated, help to society person.
2007-12-10 05:56:54 · answer #4 · answered by doxie 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think I would "Offer advice" to my kids. I would tell them in broad terms about positive re-enforcement, "Like we raised you."
I don't have Grandkids, yet (Kids are 27 & 24) but I now see my kids raising their animals and they are turning out well. They are well taken care of and happy. I remember that before we had kids, my Ex & I "Practiced" on raising cats and dogs to hone out philosophy on rearing other beings. It worked well as the kids are both doing well.
I would hope that they might even ask me. :+)
2007-12-10 06:32:18 · answer #5 · answered by Dan Bueno 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No, I never interfered with my son raising his son. I did give my son the "curse", "I hope you have 12 just like you!" when he was a teen. Unfortunately, my grandson is well behaved and NOT like his dad when he was young. I wanted a little torture, anxiety and sleepless nights to inflict on my son!
2007-12-10 06:09:35 · answer #6 · answered by slk29406 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋
I really do try to stay out of it. But..I find myself offering advise sometimes. Occasionally I am asked and that is flattering but I really try not to be bossy. Sometimes I get ''looks'' from my husband which reminds me that I am not the childs mother and to back off. I listen to him..he is looking out for me.
2007-12-10 19:39:15 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I agree with most, unless they are being harmed I stay out of it. I must say, so far, they seem to be doing a great job!
2007-12-10 05:41:20 · answer #8 · answered by Grace 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
not a parent but what was that saying (too many cooks spoil the stew) it could apply here just as well -- believe one should bite their tounge and none of those cheep shots at the parents saying "you should do it different -- or i told you so"!!!
2007-12-10 05:34:10 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
I have done both. My tongue gets very sore sometimes.
Although I want to step in and have it done my way, I don't want to pay their bills....so....
2007-12-10 07:28:15 · answer #10 · answered by kayboff 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋