Do you believe that living together prior to marriage "living in SIN" ruins your marriage and this is one of the underlying reasons there's so many divorces, confusion, and abuse in relationships???? I recently separated from hubby. We lived together prior to marriage and our church constantly told us NOT to do it because it was mocking GOD.
2007-12-10 04:47:14 · 12 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
This is what Dr Laura calls shacking up. The more you have sex w/o marriage, the more confusion you will have. You will always have problems unless you repent. Believe me, I have been through that. Living in SIN is wrong and there's no rewards to it just consequences. This is the norm of the world and this is why marriage and families are under constant scrutiny.
2007-12-10 05:22:27 · answer #1 · answered by Lucci 6 · 1⤊ 3⤋
I think that sex before marriage is only confusing for someone young and inexperienced. Living together prior to marriage is a necessity because the dating process only shows the good qualities in a person. When you're living with someone 24/7 they can only hide their bad qualities for a short while. Regardless, I feel that marriage counseling is also necessary because questions will be asked that the two of you have never considered and assumed you knew the answer to for the other partner. This gives you an opportunity to get to really know each other in finances, sex, what you want out of a marriage and children.
2007-12-10 07:56:36 · answer #2 · answered by Christy 2 · 1⤊ 1⤋
i did live with my spouse prior to marriage. I believe there'd be less divorce if you did that. You get a good feel of what the person is like prior to doing the marriage thing. We lived together for 3 yrs prior to being wed, and when we wed, sure it wasn't the surprise or anything but we knew what we expected so there wasn't that nasty surprise or nitpicky thing you can't live with. I've seen too many people do the separate living thing, wed and then divorce b/c dating is different than actually living with the person. Dating is great, it's all fun and games but when you're living 24-7 with a person while you're dating, you get the bigger picture.
2007-12-10 05:51:40 · answer #3 · answered by Yummy♥Mummy 6 · 3⤊ 0⤋
Kitty sorry that I have to disagree with your church beliefs but personally I believe that it is quite necessary to live together prior to marriage. This way both parties learn more about the other and their habits etc. We can all date and be whatever the other person wants or what we believe the other is looking for in a mate, but to share a living environment is completely different. Sad but today's society marriage and commitment are much like the rest of our society, very disposable. People appear ready ad able to lose their loves and partners for whatever silly reason it may happen to be. Many years ago people would fight to keep their relationships alive and would act much more mature as well as take their vows far more seriously. And I have been in two failed marriages myself so I am not preaching that I have been a success either. Best of luck and hope you understand what I am attempting to explain.
2007-12-10 04:55:49 · answer #4 · answered by crazylegs 7 · 5⤊ 1⤋
Statistics do say that those who live together before marriage are more likely to have their marriages end in divorce, but it can't really be proven that the living together is what caused the divorce.
personally, I think it has more to do with a person's morals than anything. A person with very strict morals won't live with someone before marriage, and they're also less likely to divorce becuase they believe that's a sin also.
I live with my fiance, but I'm committed to ensure that my marriage doesn't end in divorce. The first step: Take the commitment seriously. I think a lot of people who end up divorcing went into marriage with a "hey if it doesn't work we can just get divorced" attitude. That doesn't work. You can't think of divorce as an option.
So to answer your question. No, I don't think you living together caused your divorce. I don't know you, so I don't want to assume things about you but I'm guessing it had more to do with your (or your husbands) attitude about marriage in general that led to the divorce. One of you didn't come in with the right attitude.
2007-12-10 04:54:13 · answer #5 · answered by Been here before 3 · 4⤊ 0⤋
I absolutely would not get married without living with my boyfriend first. How do you really know if you can live with each other, be there day in, day out with the good, bad and the ugly if you don't live together?
You see them at their worse. They see you at your worse. Then you know if you can live with that person for the rest of your life. When you make the vow "For better or for worse", you know what you are getting into. No surprises and you have the information before hand to make an informed decision.
The good part is easy, it is the bad times that make a relationship hard.
If it doesn't work, you break up. If you get married, then live together, then it doesn't work, you divorce. I am simplifying quite a bit of course!
But this is only my opinion of MY relationship. You do what YOU want. You only you get to live your life.
2007-12-10 05:26:41 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 1⤋
Been Here Before says that people with strong morals don't live together before marriage...Wake up! Been Here Before is the "holier than thou" type. Hey Been Here, throughout history the church has constantly opposed women's rights.
I know several people who lived together before and several people who didn't. The most happy couples are the ones who lived together before marriage. I wouldn't buy a car before I test drove it, and I sure and the heck wouldn't get married before I was absolutely sure of it. Test driving a few different types of cars is also a lot of fun and you learn a lot about yourself and the car! If either person decides the relationship is working, then some time is lost, but both will live and get on with life.
I lived with my wife for 6 years before getting married. We've been married 5 years and just had our second child.
My advice is to live together and find out if you really want to live with the person for the rest of your life. So, your church says not to live together? What is your church's position on birth control or abortion. I think women are equal to men; do women have the same opportunities in your church as the men do?
2007-12-10 05:22:37 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 2⤋
Oh boy here we go. God does not live ur life, u do. U can not expect to marry someone and not live w/ them first cuz all thats gonna happen is u'll end up in divorce cuz u'll come to realize u can't handle the way that person lives. U don't wanna do the sex thing b4 marriage, fine. I would like to know I can live w/ the person b4 I go and marry him.
BTW god frowns upon divorce so why do that??? Either way ur being frowned upon, right??? So live life by ur terms and noone elses.
2007-12-10 05:06:09 · answer #8 · answered by ♥Pure Evil♥ 6 · 3⤊ 1⤋
I have to agree with your church. My pastor just talked about this very subject in his sermon yesterday. Couples who live together prior to marriage have a 70% chance of divorce and couples who do not, have a 50% chance. Not good statitics either way.
2007-12-10 04:52:43 · answer #9 · answered by kostlover32 1 · 1⤊ 3⤋
It only matters to those who are involved in it.
Did YOU feel like it was mocking God?
Stop looking for excuses why it didn't work out.
2007-12-10 05:56:07 · answer #10 · answered by C>/ 4 · 1⤊ 1⤋