Why would he be upset?

Question

My husband and I normally communicate fine, but the other day a friend whom he does not think that great of because she sleeps around called and aksed if I wanted to go out to Dinner, well being that I have a 6 month old and Work full time, I said yes, but first I asked his permission and he said it was fine. After he allowed me to go he changed meaning his whole character got kind of cold and he was real quiet. He stayed home with the baby and I was gone for no more than 4 hours. He did not say one word to me and during the night I tried putting my arms around him and he made a movement like trying to tell me to get off of him. I allow him to go out and come back when he wants when he wants to go to the bar and chill out with his friends. I also think it has something to do with the fact that he started going to church and he does not go out anymore. I asked him why he was mad at me and he said he was fine and for me to stop asking him that. Why would he be upset? Thanks!

Answer 1

It sounds like he didn't like his wife going out with a woman who sleeps around. You knew he wasn't crazy about this woman. May I suggest that he probably thought 4 hours was a long time to be eating dinner. Did you and your friend JUST eat dinner, or did you have dinner, and then a few drinks somewhere? Perhaps a bar? Try to look at it through his eyes. You are out. He pictures your pal flirting, or picking up guys while you and her are in a bar. He probably doesn't like the idea of guys coming on to you, cuz you are sitting with a woman of questionable morals.

Answer 2

I think he was upset because even though he said it would be okay to go out with this friend in his heart he hoped you valued his opinion of her character and in that further hoped you would sever ties with this person he sees as unworthy of your friendship.
As he just started going to church and no longer goes out he wants you to do the same but knows this choice is yours.If you are not attending church with him this is going to make for more difficult times.
He may not be mad only hurt and confused and not able to put it in words-you do not mention what type of church so I can not address whether or not the teachings of the church concerning couples comes into play here or not.

Answer 3

Hmmm I am not sure but while I do ask my husband if he minds if I do things I never consider him "allowing me" and I am pretty sure he would never see the need to "allow"me. My husbands opinion is very important to me and I try to always consider it though. I am guessing that maybe he has looked at it as he gave up going out as a way to be more commited to your family and maybe after you left he started resenting you for going out but really I do not know. I think everyone needs some down time and I think it is healthy for you both to have some time off as long as your coming home to each other.

Answer 4

It sounds like he really didn't want you to go out. I see it as manipulative though. I think that you should also be able to go out with your friends and he should take care of your child also. There could be something else going on, like maybe someone said something so he is reading into what has happened. I believe in straight communication and what this is is not straight communication. If this continues, you both should consider seeing someone to help you with communicating better when things get rough.

Answer 5

I think he is worried that this woman's lifestyle will interfere with your relationship. He might think that she will be a negative influence, encouraging you to sleep with other men and live the single life. She is viewed as a threat to him. You have a new life now, with a young child at home.... sometimes you need to re-evaluate your relationships and ensure that they are healthy for your number one relationship - your family. Her destructive behaviour should not be given a chance to leak into your family life, he see's this. He said it was alright because he doesn't want to force you to discontinue this friendship you have shared for some time. At the same time, it eats at him to think of what she is capable of, and he is risking a lot by allowing her to remain a part of your life. It kills him inside and he has a hard time hiding this.

Answer 6

I dont think it has alot to do with him going to church. I think its the fact that you know how he feels about the person you went out with, and if she is fast in the pants, not to say that you are, but guys are going to think you are too. Think of it this way, if he were to go out with a guy whom you know is a DAWG, and hits on females, would you be comfortable letting him go out with this person?
I think its more or less like thats your friend fine but what do you guys have in common to go and hang out, he know's what she is going to be doing, so where does this leave you?

Answer 7

Communication is the key. A nice long heart to heart to bring you 2 on the same wavelength. Not gonna find the answer on yahoo. The answer lives in your house...go for it!

Answer 8

He didn't want you to go but he wanted you to realize that and he didn't want to have to tell you. He is just concerned that she is a bad influence and she probably is. Give it a few days and it will blow over, the more you make of it the longer it will go on.

Answer 9

Because He believe that you are doing what he did when he went out with friends....if he was so innocent then he wouldn't treat you this way.

I am glad that he is going to church....go with him and find some good girl friends.....personally you don't need to be hanging out with her.....

Answer 10

first
you asked permission?
he's not your father!
second
he said fine and then acts like a child
third just because your friend does things that he doesn't approve of doesn't give him the right to be an jerk towards you