When my wife and I get into a heated argument she calls my mother and says the worst things about me. She tells my mother in front of my face that I need psychological counseling etc. She never tells how she contributes to the argument. Now, She has her own mother that she can talk to, and friends and she has absolutely no relationship with my mother. I asked her why and she says because she needed someone to talk to.
2007-12-10 03:49:35 · 20 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
I understand talking to my mother-in-law as she is my close friend.
But your wife needs to think before she shares, cause she is family and it's always awkward to stay impartial .. good luck, it's not an easy answer.
Good Luck!
2007-12-10 04:39:45 · answer #1 · answered by Queenie` 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It is never a good thing for a wife or husband to call relatives for the sole reason of bashing their spouse. This shows a total disrespect for the feelings and reputation of the spouse being bashed about. To do this breaks a trust in the relationship. Your wife does this because she either uses this method as revenge for you getting her angry, or she does it cause she feels your mother will side with her and will be able to influence you to see things her way. Either way, this is an inappropriate way to try and resolve conflicts and disagreements. I feel you and your wife can benefit from marital counselling so that there will be a third person who is biased and can be in a better position to help you both on ways to resolve conflict.
2007-12-10 12:09:08 · answer #2 · answered by pictureshygirl 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Control:
If she called her friends or her own mother it would still be private, but by calling your mother it is meant to embarrass you. The underlining threat is "If you don't do what I like I will tell you mother." I would bring it up sometime while having dinner with her parents. "Has Margie always been a tattle-tale? She keeps calling my mother to tell on me. I sometimes thinks she believes that my mother will spank for being a naughty boy." It makes lite of her actions, but raises a the question if this is an on going behavior.
2007-12-10 12:31:56 · answer #3 · answered by snack_daddy10 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I want to tell you 100% if your wife is not in your corner then who is.
This marraige will not last for long. You should re think before you have kids with this women.
I don't care what you do or what you say she is your wife she should stand by your side.
I am surprised that your mom even listens.
I have a son he is my son and if his wife bad mouthed him to me I would encorage him to leave her.
Your wife should be your best friend if your best friend did this would you still be best friends?
Give her one more warning and that is it. She is the one with problems not you.
My cousin was married to a women like that. She was always putting him down and then she kept having kids.
4 kids later they are divorced. His whole life was ruined because he was to insecure to leave. She put his self esteem down so low.
He had a great job for over 15 years now he is homeless and drinks everyday.
And she is still bad mouthing him.
No one should ever bad mouth you.
I want you to know I never in my life have told someone to leave even if they where cheated on but to me this is the worse thing a person can do to the one they love.
Good luck
2007-12-10 12:07:15 · answer #4 · answered by lisalisa 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sounds like she's trying to be hurtful and manipulative. Maybe she thinks your mother will take her side and help get you in line. Ask her to stop and ask your mother to stop taking the calls. You're both adults and should be able to work it out without bringing other people into the conversation.
2007-12-10 12:01:42 · answer #5 · answered by trysh_mc 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
OOOO the little madam. She is manipulating both you and your Mum. She knows your mum loves you so she is using this love against you, each time she does this your mum gets hurt and your wife thinks this will hurt you.
Tell her this is unacceptable, stay calm and discuss your arguments. Try to avoid the triggers, walk away, leave the house but don't give her the satisfaction of an argument
2007-12-10 12:06:14 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
And just what does your mother say to all of this? Does she realize that it takes two to tango and that you are not the sole person in these arguments?
It sounds to me like she is trying to get your family on her side, and to be honest there should never be any sides in any family, EVER.
I am wondering how happily ever after you guys will be if you don't get to a counselor soon!
2007-12-10 11:54:41 · answer #7 · answered by mrsmommaid 3 · 2⤊ 1⤋
This is quite common....except that sometimes it could be your mum, her mom, your sis or someone else. Basically, women need to blow out their steam and they need someone to do that!
Men on the other hand tend to manage their problems themselves....except when things get toooooo difficult to handle. Call it male-ego or whatever....but this is a fact.
Infact, you are doing your wife a great help by letting her blow her steam. So don't panic...and thank your stars that its YOUR mum she's sharing it with.
2007-12-10 11:56:49 · answer #8 · answered by cucumber_cool 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
In a way she is telling your mother that she sucks and that she didn't raise you right.
I asked the other women 4 in all that I work with this very question and they all agree with this answer. :-( sorry.
2007-12-10 11:59:43 · answer #9 · answered by Been There Done That 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
She wants someone on her side. She is making it hard for you to have a relationship with her mother. Don't worry you will find someone else
2007-12-10 11:58:54 · answer #10 · answered by le 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋