iv never had an orgasm?

Question

im scared to tell my man, and im also scared if i do have an orgasm now he'll know, and he will realize that iv never had an orgasm before and we will fight because iv been faking it for so long, im scared if i do something diffrent he will know, and ill be the bad person, i dont have confidence in my body after i had my son, even with my sons father i never had an orgasm after 4 years, but im with my new man now and i dont want to mess things up with us, iv never really liked myself so i feel like i dont deserve to have an orgasm and to be pleased, and another thing is i always get trun on afther sex never druing, i dont know what to do, i can have an orgasm by myself and with oral, i just need some help on what to do

thank you

its not that he dont last long enough, cuz he does, i dont even try to orgasm cause im just thinking about pleasing him and what he thinks, thats how i always though, and i blam me not caring for sex on my sons father, he was my 1st and he sucked every time and for 4 years we had sex like 1 every 2 weeks, it sucked and with him i just layed there and i didnt really feel anything, but with my new man now, it feels good and i like it alot but i just dont really think about me, i never had, sometimes i try but i just give up, i dont know, i just feel like i dont deseve it

Answer 1

I'm not sure why women feel the urge that they need to lie about orgasms. However, you can have orgasms and so that is not the problem.

It depend on how frequent you are masturbating and he is performing oral on you. You might want to decrease your masturbation until you get to a point that you want to and then you can go and have sex with him. This should help.

Replace dildo or hand with his penis. Should take a month to cure. Other thing is don't get too caught up i the mechanics. If you scream this time when you have an orgasm and you've never screamed before and he asks about it you can tell him that it was "pretty intense". That should get you off the hook.

Answer 2

first of all, i'm sure you're a beautiful woman. Every woman deserves to have orgasms as much as possible!! It is an amazing feeling and makes you feel closer to yourself and whoever you are with. But you need to have an orgasm by yourself. The more you try to get yourself worked up, the easier it will be with your man. Try buying a sex toy- the water dancer is amazing (vibrates A LOT and some come with an attachment). A lot of clitoral stimulation is key- some women can only orgasm like this. don't worry if you can't have one during sex. Just lie back, find something (anything) that turns you on, and turn on your vibrator! Relax, touch your body wherever it feels good. If you can't get yourself going, read some erotic literature or watch an erotic scene from a movie. Use lubricant if you need it (don't use lotion).
When you DO orgasm, and if you do it with your man and he notices that it's different, tell him you've never orgasmed like that before. tell him you were especially turned on when he touched you like that/looked like that/said that. he'll be really happy and think that he gave you an extra special orgasm!! Good luck!

Answer 3

I'm so sorry you're feeling this way.

Of course you deserve to be pleasured! You need to tell your man about this. Talk to him at a calm time, and not right before or after you make love.

The fact that you have had an orgasm outside of intercourse should give you hope. There is nothing wrong with you! A lot of women don't have an orgasm through intercourse alone. Each woman is different, and some take a bit longer to get to that ultimate point. Perhaps it is a matter of position or other things. Your man may even have some creative ideas of his own!

Good luck!

Answer 4

Well, I think you cannot tell him you been having to fake it all this time, that will just hurt his feelings big time. So you don't wan to do that. I don't think he'd really know the difference from the faking to the actual real thing. Because so far he's been thinking the fake is the real thing. I think you maybe need to direct him to the right spots or something? Casually do it. Subtly do it. A lot of women have trouble though. Especially during intercourse. It's easier usually manually or orally, I think. But maybe you can try to direct him better or casually tell him what he may be doing wrong or what he could do better or when he is on track, make a bigger deal of it so he'll be more inclined to go in that direction. See what I mean? But truth be told too, I think a lot of men just don't last long enough during intercourse for the woman to reach hers.

Answer 5

It's not all that uncommon for a woman to have a hard time having an orgasm during sexual intercourse. Don't be scared to actually have one even though you've been faking, if he makes a comment, just tell him "wow that was really intense". You need to make sure to communicate with your partner during sex. They don't know what feels good if you don't tell them. Don't be ashamed!

Answer 6

When ur having sex don't concentrate so much on not having an orgasm. Let loose and relax it will happen. He won't know u were faking it he'll just think he did it better that time!

Answer 7

Forget the orgasm.

Your more pressing problem is your lack of self esteem. Deal with the issues in your life that cause you to "never like yourself."

I recommend professional therapy.

If you take the stpes now, in time, you will begin to discover just how much you ar worth to the world. I bet the orgasims will be easy then.

Good luck. I will pray for you.

Answer 8

dont think about it so much, when youre having sex tell him to rub your gspot or do it your self. if that doesn't work. when hes done you keep going. a lot of foreplay will help.... if you relax and enjoy the moment you can have an orgasm .

Answer 9

This is something that you should be able to talk to him about.Alot of women have this problem.They never reach that point on their own ,it has nothing to do with you and how you might be doing things
You also deserve all things in life .

Answer 10

First, you need to start liking yourself. You need to open up. Most men would want to work at pleasing you and the most important thing you can do is to communicate to him what makes you feel good.