I s it wrong to expect for a man to share the financial responsibility of a child when things don't work out?

Question

I am debating whether I should take my kids fathers to court for support. I am feeling like I am doing something wrong by eventhinking about it. Well I let the two of them know what my plans were and they both are angry with me. I have been carrying pretty much all the weight for a number of years now. I am drained and I feel as though I shouldn't have to work two jobs to take care of half of their resposnibility. I just think they are upset because they will now be held accountable and have to be consistent. Buying a birthday gift or christmas gift just isn't cutting it anymore. Do they have a right to have an attitude? Is it wrong for me to hold them accountable?

Answer 1

Of COURSE a man is responsible for the financial needs of any child he creates!! Anything less is abandonment! That you even need to ask this question suggests to me that you haven't been treated very well, and have come to believe that you're not worthy of attention, kindness, or support. But everything you ask for is reasonable! These deadbeats are making YOU feel bad for wanting them to support their kids. These guys are worthless losers. You are a heroic mother, working to support your kids! Of course they're angry! They are entitled creeps who don't feel that they have any responsibilities--rather, they feel like the world owes them a free ride. By not supporting their own kids, they're basically stealing from their own children!!! Despicable and irresponsible. Do your kids, yourself, and the world a favor by teaching these bums responsibility.

Answer 2

Not just yes, but hell yes!

They are their children, they are responsible for them. It is a shame they don't just act like men and contribute to their care, but there is a lot of that going around, or else why would there need to be a Child Support Enforcement Bureau?

If you do the court thing, at least you have an order that will require them to take care of their children. If they don't like it, oh well. Your kids deserve a home to live in and food to eat, and they benefit and need the service of the utilities and the car and the phone, so don't let those slugs say that these are not their responsibility.

In response to Wisdom, above, nothing else comes into play except that these are their children and the fathers owe them support. Period. Nothing about visitation, nothing about paternity either--if you were married to a man at the time the child is born, the law sees that child as his. Period.

Too bad you cannot go back and get what you didn't demand in the past, but now is better than never.

If your state has garnishment, use that. Otherwise you'll get about two or three payments and then nothing, and you'll be right back where you started from.

Good luck. And don't back down. (And use birth control. You have enough of them to take care of....!)

Oh, and yes, they have the right to have an attitude. Let them pout. They are acting like children in many other ways, let them have the pleasure (and believe me, they are enjoying it) of acting like a baby that way too.

Answer 3

Lots of things come in to play here. Does the father have equal visitation rights ? He will if you end up taking him to court.

Why aren't you still married ? Did you cheat and leave him or did you just cheat he threw you out ? If you did something rotten that broke you up you deserve the pain.

I'm sure he cares for the kids and I'm sure he will and should pay support for their care. Remember child support is just that. It doesn't mean you can spend it on anything other than their support.

You have left out a lot in this question for anyone to intelligently answer it.

Answer 4

I don't think you're wrong at all, because they're the fathers so they need to step up and take responsibility for their children. you probably should get a court order for an DNA test so that the father(s) wont try to say that the children are not theirs. To be on the safe side you should contact an lawyer and ask their opinion and also look up the child support laws and guidelines of your state. Good Luck

Answer 5

Don't beat yourself up over this. It takes two to tango...and they need to know that. Why should they be able to walk away from a situation they are responsible for creating? Child support exists for a reason and it's nothing to feel bad about using. If they didn't want to have kids (or support them for that matter), they shouldn't have been messing around in the first place. Make them pay!

Answer 6

What a selfish men you have married. He should be happy to provide for his child whether you divorce him or not. They don't have a right to this attitude but when you let them get by with just a birthday and Christmas gift, that leaves them plenty of money to use themselves. Let me guess....they both drive nice cars, live in nice homes and go on nice vacations with other women while they leave you to figure out the finances to take care of their child. Go after them. And if you don't get anything, sever their parental rights to the child. Next time find a responsible man to marry.

Answer 7

As long as you are working to support your kids as well I see nothing wrong w/ you expecting the father to help out. I think that if a relationship doesn't work than both parents should be equally responsible for supporting the kids. I've seen too many single moms who think of their baby's daddy as a walking wallet.

Answer 8

Its not wrong to hold them accountable....... as a matter of fact u owe it to ur child, just as much as their responsibility as it is urs. They helped bring them here, u didn't do it alone so get down there and file for support. The reason they're mad is they r going to have to start taking responsibility for their actions ( Paying ) for their kids. They should have an attitude ( the right one ), I want to support my child and do what ever I can for them. Don't walk, run down to social services and file for support, the only thing u need to feel guilty about is not doing this sooner. Need any help contact me, I'm here for u.

Answer 9

People have the "right" to whatever attitude they want, but in this case their attitudes are irrelevant. They don't want to cough up the cash to pay for the consequences of their pleasure, so they're taking it out on you. Every man has an obligation for every child he sires. It is only fair and proper that your children should receive support payments from them. Please follow through, no matter how badly they try to make you feel.

Answer 10

they're mad cos they've had an easy ride so far and your about to bring it to a crashing end. and rightly so. you didnt make those children by yourself so why should you have to grind your fingers to the bone to support them when they have just as much responsibility towards it?! take them to court for your children, not you. its to give your children a better life and to help towards their welfare. no they dont have a right to an attitude at all, you do. at their lazy, non paying ways. make them pay up. do it girl. stand up for your kids. they're obviously not gonna. if the boot was on the other foot do you think they'd feel bad about taking you to court for financial support? exactly. and neither should you.