I have left him alone to figure things out. now he calls me everyday and what to come over. I told him no sex until he moves back into the house. I sticking by my word. He loves sex would like it 2-3times a day. The reason why he left was we were not taking care of your marrige. we got to comfortable no passion anymore. Now i show him what he could be having, Ive read alot and changes my ways im ready to be a new lover. etc...I think he is excited by this. do you think he might be thinking about coming home and trying again at some point?
2007-12-10 02:22:14 · 10 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Im not withholding sex to see if he comes back. We are now talking more and i told him if he comes back things will have to change. he agrees. Im giving him more time.
2007-12-10 02:29:11 · update #1
I say go for it and see what it gets you. Best of luck
2007-12-10 02:27:04 · answer #1 · answered by Toni A 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If he only left because you two got too comfortable and lost the passion, then yes, he could very well be thinking about coming home and trying again, especially if he knows you're both willing to work on it and bring the passion back. Just make sure to take care of your marriage this time, and do things that excite each other and keep things new. Even things like going on dates helps.
2007-12-10 02:27:28 · answer #2 · answered by ♬♥YouBetcha♥♬ 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Stop trying to entice him with sex. Do you really want him to move back in just so you can have great sex? Sex is a barometer for the relationship---if things cooled down to the point where your husband wanted to move out, there is obviously something wrong other than a lack of sex. I would try talking things out before even thinking about getting physical. And you doing the research and becoming this "new lover" for him: why? What is he doing to make you WANT HIM?
2007-12-10 02:27:20 · answer #3 · answered by Marina 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Having just one person changing in a two person marriage still isn't going to solve your problems. He moved out for more than a reason of not having sex 2/3 times a day... there must be more too this. Until all your "issues" are resolved, you will still experience the same problems.
2007-12-10 02:26:10 · answer #4 · answered by Racer 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋
You should have him followed to see if he is cheating on you. He is a controller. There are 4 signs of a person who is trying to control you. These are the signs they don't always happen in the same order, except for the last one.
1 If you don't comply with them, they begin name calling.
If that doesn't work they go to
2 guilt tripping
if that doesn't work they go to
3 anger
if that doesn't work they go to the ultimate battle for control;
ABANDONMENT
This helps insure that you will walk around on egg shells and not say and do the things you are really feeling and saying for fear that, they will abandon you. Not a good way to live. You have to be willing to be true to your feelings in spite of their threats.
You should ignore him for a while. He is trying to make you insecure. Turn the tables on him, don't be mean just become distant and unconcerned. Don't call after him, find something else to do. He will come around to find out why you are not insecure.
In the mean time have him investigated and followed and find out if he is cheating. You don't want to turn a blind eye, find out what he is up too.
2007-12-10 02:34:53 · answer #5 · answered by Sweet Suzy 777! 7 · 0⤊ 1⤋
it sounds to me that you use the with holding of sex to get your way, and that It may have caused the onset of the problems you now have, and you are holding out again to get your way.. You said you left him alone to figure things out, now you refrain from sex with him? he is your husband and even if he does come back and you use your body to control him you will never gain anything with him and be back here again in 6 months
2007-12-10 02:35:49 · answer #6 · answered by john d 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Go for it.
Sometimes it takes backing away and getting some perspective to see how good it is at home.
I had to face the possibility of losing my lady entirely before I got it through my thick head how great she is.
And - it sounds like you two are ready to take it to the next level. Here's some really good information:
"The Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work" - John Gottman
"Passionate Marriage" - David Schnarch
2007-12-10 02:25:26 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 1⤋
The problem with most husband / wife fights is that both can get too stubborn don't want to give in to the other. If you love your husband and you want to work it out with him, do whatever it takes. The choice is yours.
2007-12-10 02:29:16 · answer #8 · answered by Vanessa's mommy 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
He shouldn't move about because of sex, you probably have more problems then you think. You honestly need to speak with a counselor on this matter.
2007-12-10 02:27:48 · answer #9 · answered by Kristy Lynn 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
no sex is not the answer if you use sex as the answeer your only asking for trouble later find the problem and fix it
2007-12-10 02:26:51 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋