am i being clingy??

Question

my hubby just recently got a new job, its a night shift. he leaves every day at 4:00 and comes back around 1 am, now i know he HAS to go to work, but why is that every time he leaves i feel so sad? I don't want him to leave and most of the time i cry! Am i getting TOO attached or too clingy with him??

its really his first job, we just got together. i never been in this situation before. we're both only 19.

Answer 1

NO you are not being too clingy. I was there before. when i first met my fiance, he was working different shift...sometimes 5am to 1pm or 1pm to 9pm...it was really hard on our relationship because we could barely spend time together and also we were exhausted from different work schedule. it gotten so bad...that he had to change job.

try to make up for those lost hours...spend quality time together over the weekends...before he leaves for work...enjoy a quite dinner with him, make love when you can and try to do your best to understand that this is ONLY temporary!

Answer 2

Its a radical shift in your normal life's routine and a very upsetting one at that. Your feelings are expected, otherwise you are either not normal or you don't love the guy! Was this position out of choice or the only thing available?
Possible solution:If the job was all that was available, I'm sure he misses you as much as you do him. So, talk to each other and agree this is a temp assignment till something normal comes along. If, on the other hand, he needs this for future career advancement, veryyy delicately express your feelings, but find out how long he needs to stay in this role.

Answer 3

I am wondering if its a trust issue between you? If he were leaving at 4 am, and returning at 1 p.m. would you still feel this way? look at it this way, he is home during the day, so that gives him time to get all of the 'honey do's' done, also, most employeers pay more for working the graveyard shift, and most always there is room for advancement for him. you need to get a hobby, and find something constructive to do with your time, he has to provide a living for you, and if you keep up this behavior, you will erect a wall between the two of you, and you do not need friction in your relationship.

Answer 4

You're just adjusting to a change.

Anytime a spouse goes thru a shift change, there's always a certain amount of sadness involved with it if there is love and affection. It's normal.

My dad worked swings shifts for years/decades. Mom would get a bit moppy, but after a while, she got use to it.

i sometimes believe when spouses work opposing shifts their relationships last longer. Sadly, I've seen that more often than not.

Answer 5

yes u are being clingy and needy. i know b/c i used to be like that. it led to jealousy and fights. guess what, i joined a gym, made friends, and when i got busy doing things and stopped smotherin him, he became more sweet on his own. in short, i had to get a life. ok, crying and being sad is just being silly and immature, the bills gotta be paid. instead of crying give him a loving kiss and hug at the door, cook him somethin good for lunch and put a sweet note in the bag. and when he gets home, show him how much u miss him. b/c he wont be able to concentrate on his job if ur at home cryin like a baby. i know u love him, but stand up and be his WOMAN and not his little girl. he needs ur support right now.

Answer 6

You have to realize that working is part of life. Even if we all of the sudden reverted back to an agrarian society he would still have to work. What you need to do is realize that time away from each other is a good thing. NEVER lose site of yourself in a relationship. Yeah, you always want to be with those you love, but at the same time you also have to love yourself and take time to yourself.

Answer 7

Being sad is not clingy. I would wonder why he chose to take a night job though. Tell him how it's making you feel, give it some time so you can maybe adjust and then see if maybe he can't find a day job so he can be home at night with you.

Answer 8

Make sure that you have fixed him a good meal, that you give him a happy hug and kiss as he leaves. As soon as he has left, start doing whatever chores need to be done and keep busy! You are married now, the time for indulging in childish mood swings is over. Every time you start feeling bad, remember that you are fortunate to have a husband who is willing to work sucky hours to support his wife. NEVER EVER make him feel bad about his work!

Answer 9

Change affects people, you are just not used to his new schedule.
Perhaps you guys used to do things together that have to change now that he is on a different schedule

No need to get sad about this. Find some new things to do with the hubby on the new schedule.

If you are feeling clingy, perhaps you feel insecure about something.

Talk to him, it might help.

J

Answer 10

You can never be too clingy with your husband, your married and thats your life long companion. Your being sweet, you probably miss him because its that time of night. Thats when you want him next to you. I would miss mine too at that time because thats the special close time I spend with him. Every woman wants her man in bed with her. You will adjust, but I think your question is very sweet and your not being clingy.