Listen I dont know what else to do. My husband watches porn all the time and it is tearing our family apart. It hurts me so bad to catch him lookin at it specially since we have a daughter. I need a porn blocker or a nudity blocker that is extremely strong. I mean one that you cannot get into. I cant get one that u have to have a password when u get on the comp cause it is his computer. Anyways, I got on here and asked this question a couple of months ago and no one had a good answer or a blocker that worked. If someone could please tell me one I would appreciate it cause I dont want our marriage ruined. Thank you so much
2007-12-10 01:44:37 · 16 answers · asked by -Brooklynn and Kaylee's Mommy 6 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
hey irishman do you not have sympathy for anyone. I mean seriously get a life
2007-12-10 01:54:13 · update #1
Teeman what are you a little kid. He isnt going to leave me. He wants to quit but has an addiction so why dont you get a life too. You dont even know this family so you have no right to say anything. What is up with all you losers on here
2007-12-10 01:58:52 · update #2
While a "Blocker" sounds like a solution, it will only provide a hindrance that he will overcome if he has a porn addiction. You need to seek counseling for him (or go as a couple) and you need to insist that he goes. If he wants to stop and he admits to having a problem, you are half way there. Like any addiction, he needs to want to stop and he needs to understand that continuing is destructive.
Just so you know, I am not a porn hater and I think that in most cases porn is not a problem for most people. I enjoy porn myself but I do have self control over how much and how often I partake, and never at the expense of family.
Get help soon and good luck.
2007-12-10 03:05:00 · answer #1 · answered by steveheremd 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Look, if he really has an addiction, he needs help. He needs to get counseling and get rid of the computer or give the computer to you and you can set all of the passwords.
You cannot control or change ANYONE! You need to focus on you and your daughter. You will not be able to help by blocking everything. If this is a REAL addiction, he will get his fix anywhere.
I would suggest therapy for both of you. I think that you may need to leave him for a while to show that you are serious. It maybe any addiction, but it still is a choice!
Good luck and take care of yourself!
2007-12-10 02:16:20 · answer #2 · answered by Tadpoler 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think you're approaching this from the wrong angle. Putting up some kind of blocking program isn't the answer. That doesn't resolve anything. You'd be putting a band-aid on a bullet hole. You both need to get to the root of this problem before it destroys you as a couple, if it hasn't already. I'd suggest counseling for both of you, get it yourself if he won't go. The opposite approach, unless it disgusts you, is to watch it with him. Discuss it, maybe act out some fantasy of his, maybe play "follow the movie". Use your imagination. Bottom line is one of you has to actually take some ACTION to rectify the underlying problem. Until then it will continue to erode your relationship. Good luck
2007-12-10 02:27:43 · answer #3 · answered by Mike 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He has an addiction, hon. If you block it on the Internet, he'll access it through some other channel, like magazines or something.
You need to do more than get in a few computer programs. I'm sorry to be telling you this, but it's not going to help him. He needs an intervention, I'm afraid. And you need help with this. Ask at your Citizen's Information Bureau about dealing with spouses who are addicts and whose addiction is ruining your relationship and family life.
Help is out there. All you have to do is ask.
2007-12-10 01:59:53 · answer #4 · answered by Orla C 7 · 1⤊ 1⤋
You don't need a nudity blocker, what you need is professional help. If talking to him has not helped at all, he won't ever change and this will always give you problems. Besides that, if you throw away his pc, you will have serious problems. So, Ask him to go with you and receive some professional help, they might help him see that behaviour is causing serious problems to your family, or maybe that you are exagerating. YOu won't ever change a man, nor a woman.
2007-12-10 01:59:36 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋
I guess you are one who won't leave because of this, so...
get rid of the computer =)
see how he reacts =)
well, hide it at a friend's house for now...
and tell him why! you don't want the trash in your house especially since you have children!
it's a form of cheating, even if he doesn't admit it... and it's a horrible addiction...
best way to break a habit is to stop it...cold turkey! very rude of him to watch it while you are in the house yet, w/ the child! ugh! that's horrible! don't stand for it...
yes, you will be w/o a computer too, but, none of those blockers are full proof... none... they make websites every day that get around the blockers...
but, get rid of the computer, and yes, you have to treat him like a child, because he's acting like one! good luck...
2007-12-10 01:50:17 · answer #6 · answered by elvlayarvvi fEisty wife and mom 6 · 0⤊ 1⤋
I wouldn't worry so much about blocking nudity on the computer, although him not having access would probably be I would worry about getting him professional help. He's addicted to porn, he's admitted it. If he knows this, it's up to him to seek out help. If you don't show him you're serious about him getting help, he won't, and it may just ruin your marriage. Get tough sister...it's not going to be easy.
2007-12-10 02:07:29 · answer #7 · answered by mrsdeli 6 · 0⤊ 1⤋
You can try to block it all you want to, but all you are doing is trying to control him. If you knew this was part of his personality when you met him then it is something you are going to have to deal with. If it is something that has developed since you married then you need to talk to him about why. Don't scream at him or act mad while you talk to him about it. As long as he is doing it in private and keeping it away from your daughter then it shouldn't matter unless it has changed your marital relationship. Don't go overboard just because you don't agree with it.
2007-12-10 02:04:32 · answer #8 · answered by No one 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
alex.. i see you also asked what about a second baby..then this question. You say you already have a daughter you do not want exposed to porn ( illegal by the way for him to let it happen , delievery of pornographic materials to minors is a serious criminal offense. ) ...and you also ask about having more kids. what if the next is a boy? what if his dad exposes him to porn ( also a criminal offense ) ?
Do not have a baby to "help" a marriage with problems. ok? sure every marriage has problems.but this one is a serious one which causes huge problems for any marriage.
2007-12-10 03:42:18 · answer #9 · answered by BelieverinGod 5 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Have you confronted him about his addiction? Have you let him know how much it bothers you? Does he prefer online porn to having sex with you?
You can try one of the programs designed for children such as NetNanny or ChildShield. They require passwords to change their settings, but do not require one to log on to the computer. I would also suggest that he get some sort of counseling if it is affecting your relationship.
Do some online searching for ways to help people with sex addictions.
Good luck.
2007-12-10 02:29:15 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋