I left my husband almost a year ago because of his drinking. I left him because he told me I had to because he could not get sober with me in the house. I really left him because I could not let my daughters live that life anymore. Anyway,to make a long story short,he found somone else a few months later and now they are having a baby in a month. I am still so hurt by this because it was not supposed to turn out this way. Even though we live in different states now,it is almost like he has taken her and this new baby over our own kids. He sees them on holidays and wants everyone to drop what they are doing for him because he decides to come into town. He was paying me for the kids but stopped for some reason a couple of months ago. I feel so lost. I know I didn't do anything to make all this happen but I don't know where I will get the strength to move on with my life. This all started because he told me a couple of mintues ago that he wants to marry her when we get divorced.
2007-12-10 00:34:50 · 11 answers · asked by lvbrdy4vr 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
What can I do to move on and forget about him? How do you divorce someone if you don't have any money? Thanks for your advice!
2007-12-10 00:36:03 · update #1
Go see a therapist to work on taking care of yourself. Get an attorney to protect your interests and your children's interests. He should be paying child support. You don't want to be with someone who is so changeable. Easier said than done. It will take you a while to feel okay. But you will. Give it time. Good luck.
2007-12-10 04:57:49 · answer #1 · answered by Simmi 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
When someone is going through recovery they start out on what some call a pink cloud. There whole life has changed and they are no longer in the deep hole that alcoholics find themselves in over and over. I would have to say that maybe he took the whole "need to change persons, places, and things" to the extreme. No father should just abandon their children because he is starting a new life and having another child. If you ask me he is being self centered which is only okay for the "recovery part" but not for his fathers. You need to ask him why he is acting this way and any man who does not pay child support deserves to be in jail. You stand up for your daughters and make sure that they are taken care of as far as him financially helping. Then you must realize that his life is not a peachy he is just going through a stage where everything is new. Take it from me I am a recovering alcoholic and this man does not know what he wants out of life. You should read the book, "Codependent No More" by Melody Beattie. Even as a recovering alcoholic it has helped me but I think it will help you to understand you should try to move on and not let the things he is doing effect you. You moved out because of him and his actions so why now that you are out you still let him affect you? Take control of the situation and be strong for yourself and your daughters. It's going to hurt because that is human nature but always remember that you have your girls and you can pull through together.
2007-12-10 08:52:40 · answer #2 · answered by Nicole 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
If you can have an amicable divorce without all kinds of strings attached, let him pay for the divorce and let his attorney draw up the paperwork. As long as you discuss it ahead of time and agree on all the issues such as child support,visitation,claiming the children on taxes,spousal support( if allowed) ownership of cars and home etc etc., you don't have to hire an attorney. Just use his. Just read every word of the divorce decree before you sign it. if drink was and still is his issue then you are better off without him. Life is too short. Time does heal the heart. Also look at it as your daughters will have another sibling(whether you like it or not) and they have a right to be part of each others lives.
2007-12-10 08:47:32 · answer #3 · answered by justme 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Wow.. I know you are going thru a tough time but you are a strong WOMAN. You get get thru this. Apparently he is not man enough to handle his responsibility. If he has found someone else who knows that he wont have a drinking problem with her and the new baby.. If you want to get a divorce and you have no money. You can go to a book store and pick up a book on divorce with children for about 30.00. It will guide you thru every step you need and you can also get it to were he pays all the costs. Also you can get child support. Best of Wishes on your new journey. Remember you can overcome any obstacle that is put in your way. As long as you remain strong...
2007-12-10 08:43:24 · answer #4 · answered by Bling 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Because he is motivated to getting divorce, he will most likely pay for it. It is important that you keep track of back child support owed. And, it is important that you move on. Remember, you chose to leave him for a reason (a very good one!). His new wife is not getting a gem, but you will, once you decide to move on with your life. You will find a quality guy, not an addict. Remember, once an addict, always an addict. You did the right thing.
2007-12-10 12:05:59 · answer #5 · answered by Sondra 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Every time you think of him just remember she has to put up with him staying drunk all of the time and as for you and your children's well being make sure he pays everything he is supposed to for that is their money and you have to stick up for your children. Remember his drinking cost a lot of money so let let him say he does not have it. Unless he has gotten help she will be going through the same thing. Pity her if nothing else.
2007-12-10 09:34:52 · answer #6 · answered by dd 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well technically this relationship he's having with this other woman since you and your husband are legally still married, he's cheating on you.
A seperation is just that, your still legally married, and if he's seeing anyone during that time, he's cheating on you.
Obviously he's thinking only about himself and is quite the selfish one.
I'm sorry that he's putting you through so much pain and heartache.
Hope that things turn around for you soon.
2007-12-10 08:40:30 · answer #7 · answered by Bryan M 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Im sorry for what has happened and that wasnt right... he should of worked things out with you. You can do it though... you can move on and be happy.. I would join a club of some sort.. find a friend to hang out with..... as for the divorce. make him pay for everything.
2007-12-10 08:39:34 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
love is stronger than money. Indeed there cannot be a comparism. The Lord will be your strenght. please move on with life. your divorce is not the end of the world.
2007-12-10 08:47:10 · answer #9 · answered by Ellis O 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
divorce him and get the child's support back..of course she is more important to him now, I know it hurts, but it's a fact....
2007-12-10 09:03:30 · answer #10 · answered by dexter 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋