my husband and i have been together for 3 years married only 2 months. before we got married he pushed and pushed for us to get married and now its like he doesnt care anymore. he would rather go out with his friends, spend time with his friends, and go drinking than spend time with me. i would go with him to do any of these things. i dont have a problem with what he is doing besides the fact that he doesnt include me. he doesnt talk to me about anything anymore. he has just become so distant and 'cut off' from the relationship that i dont know what to do anymore. i try to tell him how i feel but then he says im *itching at him. no matter what i do its wrong and more than likely will start an arguement. im just so lost that i dont even know what to do anymore..........plz someone help me find some kind of direction.
2007-12-10 00:30:09 · 17 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Sometimes it could be that he wants some freedom from the relationship without the "D" word. Not all relationships are the same, and he could want this for different reasons. If you have tried talking with him and it does not help, try writing it down on a piece of paper and giving it to him. If he is not willing to read it, then evaluate yourself. See if this is what you want for the rest of your life. I am all for making it work but if he in unwilling there are far to many men out there to stay with a person unwilling to treat you fairly.
2007-12-10 03:43:18 · answer #1 · answered by Craig B 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
People....why do people think that once you get married you don't have to try anymore? That just isn't the case! If anything it means that you need to try harder. Because splitting up is still an option, its just more expensive and becomes a legality issue.
I had a friend tell me one time; "Well we're married, she's not going any where, why should I worry about what she thinks." I was flabbergasted. All I could say is you should chant that all the way to divorce court and then the poor house. What an @sshole.
2007-12-10 00:40:04 · answer #2 · answered by gypsy g 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It sounds like since he now "has" you he feels like he doesn't need to keep working on the relationship.
Time to turn the tables, get busy yourself and get out every night with friends. If he ever asks where you were or are going just say "out with friends" or "whatever".
You'll find you'll start to enjoy yourself a lot more and this is probably the jolt he needs to come back. If he tries or starts pushing tell him if you want your relationship he'll need to start working on it and act like a caring, responsible husband. If not you're having lots of fun with your freinds and miss being single again!
He'll get a good reality check and get you to a place where you can really talk.
2007-12-10 06:04:57 · answer #3 · answered by Zaferus 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Some men like the thrill of the hunt.After they bag you then you are of little interest to them.Men like this will never be good husbands and fathers it just isn't in them no matter what you do. Please don't think a baby will solve ever thing it wont. You will just have a neglected baby to raise. Plus you will be stuck to this man for the rest of your life.Get out now while you can.Let it go and chalk it up to a bad deal. You can't make a silk purse from a sows ear. Wave him bye bye and go on with your life and find a true man.
2007-12-10 00:48:21 · answer #4 · answered by lotteda717 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Seems like your husband is regretting the marriage. I know that sounds harsh, but most guys don't act like that. I have to wonder if maybe he was pushed from the outside to get married, maybe by his parents or by you and when you finally did get married, he realized all of his freedom is gone and that life as he knew it would never be the same. My advise would be to sit him down and give him an ultimatum, one that you can stick with. Let him know that you love him and you understand he wants to hang out with his friends, but also tell him that your done waiting around for him to pay attention to you. He can either cut back on going out and start acting like a husband or your gone. No if ands or but! You have to be strong and give this guy a swift kick in the rear! You don't deserve that kind of non attention and you deserve to be happy. If he doesn't want to sit down and talk, see it as his way of asking to be out of the relationship and start preparing to leave him. Your relationship wont survive it the both of you aren't willing to work at it. One person doesn't make a marriage.
Good luck!
2007-12-10 00:38:30 · answer #5 · answered by Chrystal 7 · 0⤊ 1⤋
How are you approaching him about your feelings? Are you yelling at him or blaming him right off the bat? He won't listen to your point of view if he gets immediately defensive. Try sitting down with him and telling him you have to get your feelings out and that by ignoring it, it only makes things worse for you. Ask him who should you talk to about this if not him as he is your husband. Let him know how you feel; not 'how he makes you feel' or 'what he is doing wrong'. He may really listen to what you are saying if your approach it in a non-defensive manner. If he raises his voice, say - baby, I don't want to argue with you; I just need you to be my friend, as well as my husband; I may be wrong in how I feel, but all I can do is tell you the truth about how this makes me feel.
Good luck!
2007-12-10 01:50:05 · answer #6 · answered by pussycat 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
even your yahoo name indicates that you belong to him...
you deserve better then this treatment.
make yourself busy and make time to see him once a week. Hang out with your friends and family a lot. Take up a hobby or a sport. Go out to the movies. Make appointments each night of the week bar one.
Have a date with your husband once a week. Go out to dinner, have a picnic do something together.
And the rest of week, bugger waiting around for him!
he'll soon realise that one night a week just isn't enough and will beg to have you back in his life.
often there is a "leave me alone" period after getting married as the wedding preparations were demanding on the couple. it's normal, and annoying as hell.
2007-12-10 00:39:51 · answer #7 · answered by chilly 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You do dream, you just aren't remembering them. Each night the body goes through a few cycles of REM (rapid eye movement) sleep that is the dreaming state. I find as you get older you remember your dreams less. I've gone through long periods of not remembering my dreams either and had the same thought. But physically, your mind does dream while sleeping even if you don't remember. A trick you could try is having someone wake you up in the middle of the night and I bet you would remember some of what you were just dreaming.
2016-05-22 11:18:10 · answer #8 · answered by ? 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Do you have any girlfriends that you could go out with on the nights he goes out? Why should you have to sit home alone while he goes out and has fun?
And/Or
Are you sure that he is out with his guy friends and not another women?
Then there's the end all...next time he leaves to go out without you, leave and don't come back until he changes his attitude about the relationship.
2007-12-10 01:15:15 · answer #9 · answered by smk7472 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Marriage counseling...But, I have to agree with the one who said now he has you and it would be harder to get out of the marriage. I don't agree that two wrongs make a right but, it this case it might open his eyes. Pick times you know he will be home then go out without him. Go with friends or whatever. You can go window shopping but, tell him your going dancing and drinking with some single friends.....
2007-12-10 00:40:18 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋