Do I abort or not?

Question

Me and my fiance were trying for a baby, and thankfully we have got pregnant. I was so happy :)

He has now changed his mind however and wants me to abort. We are both on jobs which don't pay great... and I only started my job 2 &1/2 months ago (and I have 3 months probation and have already taken loads of time off for scans etc)....

My parents aren't happy about us keeping it either as my finace is black and I am white. They think it is unfair and selfish of us to have a mixed race baby...

My finace really doesn't want the baby now, but I just can't imagine murdering our child which we had wanted so much!

Answer 1

How can you all of sudden just change your mind? What are his reasons? They're people out there who want kids and can't have them I think its SELFISH if you abort. Don't do it if you don't want the baby there is always adoption. It's not the baby's fault that he's mixed. There is assistance you can get. How can you want a baby and then have your fiance change his mind? Men need to own up! You can always do it on your own its HARD but can be done and get child support he helped to make the baby so now he needs to help!

Answer 2

So it kind of sounds like you have already made the decision not to. If thats how you feel than you shouldn't. I have two beautiful children but between my son and my daughter I had an abortion. It 100% needed to be my decision or I couldnt have dealt with it. It was my choice and I did what I needed to do. Everybody can talk bad about it but the only people I need to answer to are me and God. Also being biracial myself I can tell you that it's not selfish or unfair to have a mixed race child. Most people don't even realize that I'm not fully black and the ones that do don't seem to have an issue with it. I rarely hear any rude comments and as an adult I haven't struggled with it at all. Your boyfriend may just be scared. My partner begged me to have another child. He was a little disappointed that I did have an abortion because he really wanted a daughter but we did argue once during my pregnancy with my daughter and tell me to have an abortion. I let him know he could get out -- I was already like 7 months along anyway so it wasnt possible. He did apologize and admitted he was just frustrated and getting a little scared as time went on. He absolutely adores our daughter now.

Answer 3

You made a choice to work at having a baby, and now he wants to you to abort it? It's not like buying something that you can take back if you don't want it. He is probably more scared of the responsibility of being a father and the life that comes with it. I agree with you, it's your baby, don't get the abortion. Your fiance can either "man up" and accept his responsibility or walk away. I know this sounds harsh, but that is what I did with my husband. We now have three beautiful children, happy and healthy. It was very tough with not a lot of money, but I have no regrets about keeping my first baby. She has become an amazing young woman. I am sure in the end, your parents will see a beautiful baby, not the color. If they don't, that's their loss, not yours. Have your baby, and enjoy every minute, even the tough ones. Good luck

Answer 4

It's not the baby's fault that he changed his mind! You guys planned this, and that is why it happened. I am pro-choice, but you have to decide if this is something YOU want to do. If not, DON"T DO IT because you might have really bad after-effects, like severe depression or infertility.

This article - http://www.afterabortion.info/news/GisslerAJOG.htm - says that abortions are 2x's more dangerous to the mother than giving birth; you can have physical complications or even die afterwards, and this article - http://www.enotalone.com/article/2624.html - talks about women getting really depressed after an abortion.

On the other hand, if you can't stand the idea of your baby living a full and happy life with just you or with a loving family, this article - http://discovermagazine.com/2005/dec/fetus-feel-pain/ - says that a baby can't feel pain until it's about 20 weeks, which is about 5-6 months. Remember though, that it can see and move and breathe and even dream by the time you are 16 weeks (4 mos.) pregnant.

I know people who have had abortions and people who have been adopted and the adopted people are always happier and grateful for the chance at life. I wish you all the luck in the world and I hope you make the right decision for YOU!!!

Answer 5

You're in a very difficult situation. It sounds like You still want to have the baby. If you have an abortion now because your fiancee and parents want you to, you will always resent them for it., and, you won't have your baby which you'll always regret.
The race issue is just ridiculous. Lots of people have mixed race babies, it's not selfish at all. That would mean that there's something wrong with them and that's just not true.
My advice is to have your baby, your family will either come around or not, but you will have done what you decided was best for you. Don't let other people make such a huge decision for you. It's your body and your baby, not theirs.

Answer 6

You NEED to get your priorities straight. Actually, I take that back --- you BOTH need to get your priorities straight and grow up. First you two want a baby. God, the Universe or good luck blesses you with a baby and now you don't know what to do??

If you're actually going to marry this man - your parents' opinion & his opinion make NO sense. You'll end up *eventually* having children - so where does that put this fetus you created out of love and desire?

Since you don't know what to do and everyone seems wishy-washy, why not put the baby up for adoption? It would be terrible to abort, then decide you wanted to have the baby and/or keep the baby or find out one day you can't have children.

I'm sorry to say this, but you need to seriously consider a future with this man. Not only because you don't have your parents' support, but you don't willingly try to conceive a baby, then decide to abort it. He's having some SERIOUS cold feet.

Answer 7

First let me say I am pro-choice. Now, it sounds to me like if you have an abortion, you will regret it because of all the words you use ("murdering" "wanted so much" "thankfully"). You might regret that decision for the rest of your life so consider it very carefully. The other alternatives are, if you have the baby, to keep it or to make an adoption plan. As far as a mixed race baby, I think that this is far more common and accepted in today's society.

Answer 8

No, I do not think you should abort the baby. It was created out of love and while your boyfriend might be a little freaked out right now he will come around. The baby is healthy and so are you. I would feel blessed that you are bringing this child into the world and eventually your parents will think that it is wonderful that they will be having a grandchild. It is a big change and sometimes it takes a while to get used to such a huge change in life. But it truly is a blessing, so be thankful and enjoy!!! Good luck!

Answer 9

Having a baby shouldn´t rely on whether the father wants the baby or not. You are the one to decide. If u want the baby, then keep it sweetie. You won´t be the first or last single mom around the world. I think it´s very selfish from him to do this now, he should stand up like a man and be responsible ´cause this was no accident, u both wanted this baby now he changed his mind and wants u to change ur mind as well, why should u? There´s a lil´heart beating inside of u, don´t do something u´ll regret for the rest of ur life

Answer 10

He must be going around be hind your back and wants no ties to you. You dont just all of the sudden change your mind come on. what the heck how does one change his mind. No don't abort it. keep it an raise the baby. if he wants no part of it then your better off alone to raise the baby. your parents will get over the mixed thing after the baby is born. They may really be upset because your not married yet. Maybe keeping the baby will make him change his mind once he sees it. don't abort though, keep the baby raise him or her and don't let know one tell you different. thing will work out. just don't abort it because some one already out of the blue changes his mind that is crazy. too late for that one he should of thought of that before he had sex with you. Don't abort it is murder and it well eat at you if you do.