What if your significant other never complimented you?

Question

My husband can never say why he loves me and he never compliments me. When I asked him what he didn't like about me so I could try to work on it, he wouldn't tell me that either. What's with him?

Well I compliment him and I have tried having many talks with him. He gets tired of hearing me talk about our marriage so I try not to anymore. He only listens to me if he's in a really good mood.

Well it just hurts when you realize your man gets off looking at other women on the net and in magazines. I just feel inadequate.

Answer 1

i don't have an answer for you, i just want to say i completely understand where you are coming from cause my husband goes through fazes where he does this. we actually have had to deal with the fact that he has a pron/Internet addiction and it at times just takes over his life. He sees all these perfect looking fake woman and he wants that and here i am his fat wife who he love but i just don't fulfill that craving he has for that tiny firm body....What i did is make it clear to him that i consider cyber sex cheating and will not stand for it, that i will leave him if i find it one more time. And how bad he is hurting me.

I know a lot of people will tell you to try new things do you self up and be kinky and what not but for tree weeks when i was pg with my daughter no matter what i did my husband was not interested in me and i cried myself to sleep every night ( i later found a stack of porn hidden under the seat in our car)...I know it hurts. I have found though that some times pulling away from them and cutting them off from affection will get their attention and they will start coming to you and buttering you up...

I don't want to scare you but you should be a little suspicious if he might be cheating, i know it sucks but look into it, this is how my husband acted when he cheated....GOOD LUCK!!!!!!! and be strong

Answer 2

From what you say, your husband never compliments you - but he also never criticises you. What's so bad about that? Many women with very critical husbands would love to trade places with you!

Seems that maybe you're quite a verbal and analytical person while he isn't. Doesn't make you right, doesn't make you wrong. Just different.

Most marriages work better when the partners can appreciate - or even love - their differences, as well as the ways in which they're similar. If you're feeling neglected, ask him to do the kind of things he did that made you feel loved enough to agree to marry him. He can do those - but he's not going to change his whole personality ;-)

Good luck!

Answer 3

My husband has never been one to hand out compliments. Good or okay is about as good as it gets. He grew up with a mother and sister who competed in pageants and feels he doesn't have much use for any of the commercial trappings that come with looking good. (Sometimes disappointing for me, but after 26 years, I've learned to deal with it and rely on my opinion of me.) PQ: I read to my kids every night. Recently, we got an audio book to go with the book we'd been reading. I let the kids listen to the last chapter so they could have an idea of how someone else would interpret the characters voices and accents. When we were done, the kids informed me I read far better than the man on the tape. They are nine and eleven and I think that is one of the best compliments I've ever received.

Answer 4

Did he do this while you were dating? When did it stop? I am just curious...or maybe he is just comfortable in your relationship and doesn't feel the need to feed your insecurity? I am not being harsh here, but find it yourself first...if you feel pretty then he will see that within you...and love you more for it, I promise. Otherwise, it is your responsibility to yourself, if it means that much to you to get a compliment, to talk to him until he "gets it". Take him to dinner and casually try to talk to him about why it hurts your feelings when he dosen't say "nice" things to you once in a while. Tell him WHAT it makes you feel (like not as important to him? Not attractive in his eyes anymore? etc...). We all need to know we are loved but sometimes people show it in different ways. I would hate for you to make a big deal out of this and maybe push him away over something like this. Remember yourself when you first started to date...how did you feel then? Get back to that point and maybe you will get some results. Confidence ooozzzzes out of a women when they really have it, and it makes her so pretty, and respectable.

Answer 5

If you have a good marriage otherwise I would not worry about it. A woman likes to be complimented but that does not always happen, some men are not capable of doing this. Just continue to make him happy in other ways and take care of yourself. I am sure if there was something he didn't like he would tell you.

Answer 6

My husband doesn't lavish me with compliments either. He will occasionally tell me I am very pretty, or smart. He does tell me he loves me more, this has been more recently. Some men just don't voice their affection as readily as others. Chances are though with these type of men, when they do say something, they MEAN it.

Answer 7

well, I would not worry about it unless he's complimenting other women instead...even the women at work or women online... =(...

as long as he's not talking to other women, this is just the type of man he is... dig deeper and try to find out why he's like this...

Answer 8

Has he EVER talked about this stuff? Some men are so out of touch with how they feel they have no idea of what it is or how to say it. Some men have nothing nice to say. And some men are just dumb.

Answer 9

Sometimes it is a good idea to have a conversation with your significant other and tell them what you need. There may be something he isn't getting from you that he wants. Make a deal with him and get what you want.

Answer 10

His mind is elsewhere, mainly on the net checking out other women.