What would your opinion be if your 19 year old daughter wanted to marry someone who's 34 years old?

Question

What if she was your friend? What would you say to her?

My 19 year old friend, who's very mature, has been dating this guy for about a year. They're both very into each other. They get along pretty well, but sex seems to be the biggest thing in their relationship. He always tell her that he's very turned on by her. She's turned on by him too. It's not the only reason why they're together, but it's a big part of their relationship. Most of the activities they do together just to try to focus on other things than sex end up with the two of them having sex....lol

She's in college and she just got engaged and I'm happy for her, but just sometimes it seems a bit awkward. I just wanted to see what other people would think if they were in my shoes.

He also tells her how he likes her personality and stuff like that lol

Answer 1

Seems like alot of negative answers toward this. However I met my wife when she was 19 and i was 32 of course at first the sex was great, and the sex still is we have alot in common and we enjoy life. We get along very well, for me the younger women was refreshing due to the fact of less baggage the women close to my age had been hurt and seemed to love to male bash just like a few on here already have. Because all men are horrible creatures of the earth unless they are taking care of the women.. My wife and I have been married for 6 yrs and still going strong. Of course like every relationship we have our ups and down. I dont think that age should have a factor it all depends on the people involved. Heck look at how many divorced happend with people tht are close in age so if age was the big factor then there would be alot less divorces. You cant judge by age you have to judge a persons character. I know alot of people see age as a big thing, but what diffrence does age have to do with it. I would rather have a big age gap and be happy then be married to someone close to my age and be miserable and listening to how terrible men are in the world. Of course he might play her but does that really have anything to do with his age? She could get played by any guy of any age if she does not judge his chracter right.

Answer 2

Dont check my back yard.

At 19 she is not mature enough to be thinking of marriage and the fact she is dating / engaged to someone who is old enough to be her father makes me wonder what kind of relationship she had / doesnt have , with her biological father.

She may think everything is fantastic now , but give it 2 years and she'll start realising what mistake she made by allowing this pervert to become so important to her.If your a true friend you'll be there to pick up the pieces when she shatters and she will shatter , considering financial , sexual , emotional and communication are on 2 totally different levels of understanding , he's lived his late teen life years and his 20s yet he's happy stealing hers from her , he sounds very selfish and self absorbed and a little insecure with his masculinity .

Funny isnt it I was under the impression only men going through a mid life crisis were this stupid.

Answer 3

Well she is way too young to get married I think. The age thing is not the best. Yet I know a women that married a man 20 years older then her but she was 28. They are happy as can be.

I would tell her I think she is crazy. She is too young and has all of her 20s to have fun and meet new people. She is not going to want to be stuck with some old guy when she is a hot girl in her 20s.

Some people have to learn the hard way sadly.

Answer 4

I think there is no problem at all. If the man has feeling that he is young its much good. See, sex play very important role in marriage life. If any one of both the partners have less intensity then their marriage life become just pushing & it has nothing to do with the age gap b/w partners. if this is not true then there should be very less cases found of divorce world wide. But unfortunatly it is right. If u can read the psycology of a young girl/lady most of them are looking her boy friend as good friend like her father, elder brother etc.
In the bed, as a man if u have very experianced player & able to satisfy ur wife/girl fiend she become blind for u.
So i think these things are important, rather than age, otherwise no one has try for next partner after he become divorced

Answer 5

Unfortunately, sex will dwindle in time. It is really an ego trip for a 34 year old to be with a 19 year old. If they don't have anything in common, this relationship is going to spiral downhill once the euphoric feeling of sex has subsided. Does your friend want children? Maybe talk to her about how she wants to raise her children. Since she is in college now, I'm sure she wants to wait until she finishes to have children (if she is smart). Does she then want a career? All these things take time. If her boyfriend is 34 already, he may not want to wait to start a family. This is another strain on the relationship.

But the truth of the matter is, if you talk to her negatively about her boyfriend, you may lose a friend. So, be careful how you broach the subject.

Good luck!

Answer 6

Not trying to be so negative. But... when the new wears off of her, then he will be on to the next person. Sex is good when you 1st start a relationship and for them to even think that it will be this often and good 5 years down the road is very immature thinking. I guess he is thinking that the sex is so good, he wants to marry it. It sure don't seem like nothing else is on their minds.

Answer 7

Ahaha, this is weird because one of my best friends went threw the exact same thing.
We were 19 at the time, she was dating someone who was 34. She always talked about the sex, it made it seem like there was nothing else that special about the relationship.
Almost 5 years later she and him broke up (were engaged not married) and she came to me and said she felt like she completely wasted those years.
Bottomline: You can have an opinion, and it can be whatever you want, BUT there is nothing you can about it. You sound smart, I think you already know that. Just hope she dosen't get hurt too badly

Answer 8

I gave a thumbs up on the first reply. I totally agree with him.

I once dated a dude twice my age (at 18) and totally regretted it. We had totally different ideas and totally different feelings on a lot of stuff... he was also unpredictable. It seemed that he wanted sex a lot, and he did drugs and I didn't find out about it until I was caught in the middle of it.

It's not healthy to "date" someone that much older than you. It's dangerous to say the least. And I agree once again that it's borderlining on pedophelia. He was 15 y/o when she was born!! That's a bit upsetting.

Answer 9

That is a borderline pedophile. The second he gets tired of this girl he is going to dump her. I would warn her to stay away from this creep.

Why would a middle-aged MAN want to be with a GIRL other than for sex? There is no other reason. You said it yourself: "sex seems to be the biggest thing in their relationship."

Answer 10

She's free where he would have to pay for a prostitute. He's robbing the cradle. It's just a crying shame that's it's legal. He is using that child for self satisfaction, he could careless for her. I can't phanthom a man at his age having anything in common with a 19 year old. Please. There's more to life than just sex if it worn't then we would all be happy f.ckers.